As you can probably deduce from the title of this blog, I live in Green Brownpoint, Brooklyn. During my one block trek to the Franklin Corner Store one April day (in 2006) to get a sandwich, I was astonished at the sheer quantity of dog shit I encountered.

Green Street is not the easiest sidewalk to negotiate: the sidewalks are uneven and pock-marked with holes. Dodging piles of dog shit every five feet does not make this task any easier, much less when carrying delicious Cuban sandwiches. It was during this adventure through Poopland that I had the following epiphany:

1. This is ridiculous.

2. I wonder if the people who see fit to use my block as a pissoir would like it if I took a shit in the middle of their living room? Probably not.

3. This is like walking through a fucking mine field, so maybe…

4. if Queen Noor (and Lady Diana before her) can lobby against the use of land mines, perhaps I can raise awareness about the plague of unattended dog shit in my neighborhood. Call me the Dog Shit Queen of Greenpoint New York Shitty. I’ve been called worse.

What you can expect this blog to feature:

1. Dog shit. When I see dog shit I will:

A. Take a picture of it
B. Make note of the date and the location of said bowel movement

2. Generate “Crap Maps” as I see fit. These maps will reflect the data I compile (as outlined in #1) and will (hopefully) provide an easy reference for anyone who wants to know where worst (s)hit areas are— and perhaps even where the worst offenders live. It is prudent to assume that if these dog owners are too lazy to clean up their own dog shit, they probably do not take much time walking their dogs in the first place.

3. If and/or when I find a particularly choice specimen (READ: a particularly LARGE, sculptural or just plain repulsive bowel movement), it will be showcased as “The Dung of the Day”.

I am accepting submissions from the public. Greenpoint, Park Slope (as if), Williamsburg, Bushwick, Sunset Park, Bay Ridge, Red Hook (especially Red Hook— I like Red Hook almost as much as I like Greenpoint!) or anywhere else in New York Shitty. My specs are as follows:

• 150 DPI JPegs. I understand a number of you will have no option other than 72 DPI and that’s cool. 150 DPI is preferred, but not necessary. Nothing larger, PLEASE.
• Keep the images around 400 x 300 pixels.
• Indicate where you found it. I prefer a street address, but an intersection is OK.
• Indicate when you found it.
• If there is a good story behind your submission, do include it. If there is one thing I have learned from living in NYC, it is that there are few things people enjoy more than the pure Schadenfreude hilarity that results from an errant piece of dog (or bum) shit.

Submissions can be sent to: missheather (at) newyorkshitty (dot) com.

The previous having been said let’s, as Flava Flav would say, “get this party started right!” I found the following turdage on April 17, 2006 at 125 Green St.

Miss Heather

Despite my wildest imagination, New York Shitty has evolved to a “neighborhood blog”: a forum for north Brooklyn citizens. Reality set in when my humble site was deemed by the Village Voice as the Best Neighborhood Blog of 2009. I thought it was a wailing wall for me, my community and/or go-to place for lazy reporters in search of leads (sans credit, naturally— my url is unspeakable).

It has since become a lot more— and I am trying to keep up!

More to come.

Heather