Feeling Lonely?

February 18, 2008 by
Filed under: Bushwick 

I realize that Valentine’s Day has come and gone. And with its passing I am certain a number of you are probably feeling a little lonesome. It is hard to meet quality people in this city, hence the reason I opted to have my husband shipped from out of state. Whether or not this was a good decision on my part only time will tell. But I digress.

I have learned the situation for all you New York Shitty singles out there is not entirely hopeless. This weekend I got the inside scoop on a little known place you can meet that special someone. Got your pen and paper ready love seekers? Good. Here we go.

Step 1: Get a bag of garbage. Kitchen, bathroom, recycling— any kind will do.

Step 2: With your bag of trash in tow, take the J or M train to Flushing Avenue.

Step 3: Go to this building on Ellery Street between Broadway and Beaver Street.

Ellery Street hook-up House

Step 4: Proceed to the area indicated by the arrow.

Step 5: Start opening your bag of garbage as if you intend to dump it. (Trust me, I know what I’m talking about here.)

Before you dump

Presto! You just got some companionship over a cup of coffee! Of course whether or not you land that crucial second date is anyone’s guess. I wouldn’t get my hopes too high, though: if all the refuse in front of this sign is any indication, this person is pretty popular.

Good luck!

Miss Heather

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