Fedders Friday: Slings, Arrows & Bushwick
Over the last week I have gotten a lot of guff regarding my stance on Greenpoint’s recently closed “nightclub“. A. LOT. OF. FLAK.
Some of the aforementioned “flak” was thoughtful and articulate criticism which I welcome (and read). However, most of the missives I had the pleasure of moderating over the last ten days did not fall in the previous category. These were of the garden variety sexist and racist persuasion: the weapon of choice for unimaginative Internet trolls.
I’m going to let you all in on a little secret: I have long harbored views that many consider to be unpopular or “uncool”. I have never considered myself to be “cool”. What’s more I have been called every imaginable nasty epithet one can imagine (and then a few) during my 30-odd years in this mortal coil. Flick lit cigarettes at me. I’m used to it. If you want to REALLY give me the creeps, be nice to me.
Which brings me to this:
This home improvement job hails from Jefferson Street. I found the open windows on this balcony amusing so I took a photograph of it. As I rounded the corner a man shouted:
HEY LADY! HEYYYYY LADY!
I have not now nor have I ever responded to the term “lady”. I am a foul-mouthed broad who lives in Greenpoint; such courtesies are reserved for better-heeled and better mannered women than myself. Or are they?
On and on it went until I finally turned around:
Man: This guy wants to talk to you.
Miss Heather: ?
My would-be suitor/new friend ambles up to me. This chap has a cane. He is breathing heavily.
Miss Heather: Did I drop something?
Man With Cane: I want to ask you a question.
Miss Heather: (Oh shit, here we go…) Go ahead.
M.W.C.: If there are two couples…
Miss Heather: Two married couples?
M.W.C.: Yes. And one chooses to separate from the other, is it illegal?
Miss Heather: Not as far as I know.
M.W.C.: Are you sure?
Miss Heather: I think this is a no-fault divorce state*. If one party files, the other cannot block it.
Miss Heather: Hey, I’m not an attorney. But that is what I understand to be the law**. ALWAYS CONSULT AN ATTORNEY! Do NOT take my word for it.***
Then I double-timed it down the block…
only to discover this beauty. Any divorce lawyers (or marriage counselors) out there who are looking for Bushwick digs, take note. This domicile at Stanwix Street and Bushwick Avenue is almost ready to move in!
It even sports a jaunty eagle on top!
And if my experience yesterday is any indication, you’ll have a plentiful clientele base. Starting with this guy.
*This is not true.
**This is not true.
***New York is a fault divorce state. Hey, I never professed to be an attorney! Get your fucking legal advice from a lawyer, not some chick walking down the street.