Urban Fur: Bogart Street

callie

One of yours truly’s favorite ferals, Callie, holds court.

tree

Not only she has acquired a new friend, but anyone seeking to get a jump on this year’s holiday season may be interested in this curiously well-preserved tree. Only 115 days ’til Christmas!

New York Shitty Photo Du Jour: Fly

August 30, 2013 ·
Filed under: 11206, East Williamsburg, East Williamsburg Brooklyn 

fly

Taken August 29, 2013.

The Latest Vito Lopez Mailer: Monopoly

(As left, by yours truly, next to a colossal explosion of human excrement on Melrose Street)

VITOemployingMonopolyNYS

As you can see Vito “Gropez” Lopez has employed imagery from the game Monopoly. I for one find this more than a little appropriate.

Get_out_of_Jail_Free_for_the_Win_Wallpaper_JxHy (1)HELLOVITO

After all, Mr. Gropez  has for all intents and purposes received a get out of jail free card. Do NOT even get me started on what Vito probably thinks constitutes the “Community Chest”

NYPO8212013

New York Shitty Feral Furniture Du Jour: And Now For Something Completely Different

August 29, 2013 ·
Filed under: 11206, East Williamsburg, East Williamsburg Brooklyn, Feral Furniture 

boerumstreet

As spied on Boerum Street today, August 29, 2013. Where’s John Cleese when you need him?

Dung Of The Day: Special 34th City Council District Edition

August 29, 2013 ·
Filed under: 11206, 11237, Bushwick, Bushwick Brooklyn, Dung of the Day, Other Shit, Wow 

(Or: God Bless the Internet)

That’s right folks, you read the title of this post correctly: “Dung of the Day”. Those of you who have followed New York Shitty for some time are undoubtedly aware that the initial premise of this site was documenting the rather pervasive problem with poop in my community. Over the years I have gone in a different direction. There are two reasons for this:

  1. As I became more attuned to the issues facing Greenpoint (and north Brooklyn, for that matter) and noticed they were not getting attention via the “mainstream media” I decided that this blog would be an excellent means raising awareness about them.
  2. I have seen so much magnificent merde— be it human, canine or otherwise— that quite frankly I have become acclimatized to it. I have become a shit snob.

Well, today while walking around Bushwick that changed.

To preface: today I met up with a buddy of mine who resides in the 34th City Council District. This person has been generous enough to save and share the manifold number of Vito Lopez campaign material which has found its way to his/her mailbox. This, of course, includes the infamous example of Team Gropez’s rather interesting use of Photoshop. The “plan” was to take a tour of the 34th and its Industrial Business Zone. Yours truly played “tour guide”. Granted, I do not actually reside in the 34th— but neither does Mr. Lopez for that matter and I digress.

One part of our peregrinations was Melrose Street. There we saw an affordable housing project being built at the behest of the Ridgewood Bushwick Senior Citizens Council. Just a Snapple bottle’s toss away we found something so extraordinary it merited a mention on this blog. Be afraid. Be very afraid.

MelroseStreet

 

This is one of two homeless encampments to be found on said street. As you can see, something has gone very wrong.

30inchesofshit

 

Unfortunately, I did not have the presence of mind to tote along a tape measure. Thus, I had to repurpose a locally-sourced, gently used bottle of Snapple so as to establish a sense of scale. Regardless, this is rather impressive once one gets past the revulsion/”upchuck” factor. I can assure you, gentle readers, I came to the estimate of 30″ in a very deliberate— if not exactly scientific— fashion. More specifically: when I arrived back at Chez Shitty I ran a Google search for “How tall is a bottle of Snapple?” The following speaks for itself.

YahooAnswers

 

But let’s get back to the conclusion on this tale of turdage. My travelling companion and I continued our walk down Melrose. As we did we noticed a number of Maritza Davila posters. That’s when my friend noted:

Too bad you didn’t take that Lopez mailer with you.

My reply was as follows:

Oh, but I did!

gropezwithexplosiveshit

“Ouch” indeed…

The Word On The Street, Part II: STOP

bogartstreet

Taken August 29, 2013.

New York Shitty Street Art Du Jour: Thames Street

August 29, 2013 ·
Filed under: 11206, East Williamsburg, East Williamsburg Brooklyn, Street Art 

Two Owls

Taken August 29, 2013.

We Have A Winner!

vito021ANNO

Ever since I have posted the good news about Mr. Gropez’s lack of Photoshop skills (part of which can be seen above), I have been wondering:

Who was the fellow who lost his head?

I suspect my comrade over at the New York Daily News, Celeste Katz, has as well. She writes:

A moustached man with glasses stands between the two in the middle of the original photo…

Well thanks to an anonymous tipster I have ascertained the identity of this fellow… (drum roll please)

velasquezANNO

Will the Honorable Richard Velasquez, stand up please! Now of course the question (in my mind, anyway) is why Gropez and friends saw fit to remove him. Anyone?

P.S.: You can (and should) see the original New York Daily News article from which I grabbed the above insert by clicking here. Otherwise, you can read the follow-up article wherein Gropez says the Photoshopping is no big deal and he and Hillary are buds by clicking here.

Reader Contribution Du Jour: A Proven Record Of Achievement

heyladiesVitowantsyourvoteNYS

Gropez truly is the gift that keeps on giving. In this case a “birthday card” sent to a woman in the 34th City Council District— a month late. As you can see she has taken this missive in good humor (and context). Vito writes:

I wish that for every extra candle on your cake, you receive an extra reason to smile. Happy Birthday to you!

That “come hither” look and comb-over. Wow, just wow.

From The New York Shitty Inbox: Greetings From Ridgewood!

vito021NYS2

This New York Daily News/campaign literature mash-up was made possible by a resident of Ridgewood. As you can see Mr. Gropez appears to have taken some, um, creative license with the highlighted image. Interesting. In any case, he needs to parlay some of that campaign money and hire a better Photoshop wizard. Bad.

P.S.: Oh yeah, if this fellow is willing to utilize phony photos for the campaign trail, exactly what kind of City Councilman do you think he will be? Just sayin’…

UPDATE, August 4, 2013: The New York Daily News has taken notice of this hilarious item and has a rather nice article about it. You can/should read it here!

UPDATE, August 5, 2013: New York Magazine’s Daily Intelligencer tender it’s two cents;

…New York Shitty suggested the Lopez campaign employ a better Photoshopper. It would also benefit by not retouching photos that appeared in easily Googlable Daily News stories in the first place.

Well said. And last— but hardly least— here’s what Queens Crap has to say:

This guy is either really stupid, or has cojones the size of cantaloupes.

I’d say both— but why split hairs?