New York Shitty Day Starter: Treats

March 20, 2010 ·
Filed under: 11222, Greenpoint, Greenpoint Brooklyn, Greenpoint Magic 

From Cookie Road on Oak Street.

Miss Heather

Reader Contribution Du Jour: Spring Is Here!

March 19, 2010 ·
Filed under: 11222, Greenpoint, Greenpoint Brooklyn, Greenpoint Magic 

This announcement hails from Kent Street and comes courtesy of Charles Vestal. Great find!

Miss Heather

Greenpoint Photo Du Jour: Shadowplay

March 19, 2010 ·
Filed under: 11222, Greenpoint, Greenpoint Brooklyn, Greenpoint Magic 

From Quay Street.

Miss Heather

From The New York Shitty Inbox: Ice Cream Truck Haiku

Spring (among other things) is definitely in the air in north Brooklyn. The weather is pleasant. The Peeps have come to roost at Newtown Creek. And the ice cream trucks have awakened from their wintertime slumber to ply their trade. Much to other peeps dismay— and rage.

E writes: Dear Miss Heather,

I think of myself as a fairly rational and calm person.  I understand, of course, that introducing myself as such makes me automatically sound insane.  Nevertheless, I do think that I’m pretty laid back and non-confrontational in most respects.  Perhaps then you or your readers can share with me (1) why I feel compelled to purchase a stinger missile when the ice cream truck fires up its incessant midi file each Spring, and (2) how this can possibly be legal.  I seriously go from nice guy to raging asshole in a split second.  For the time being I have opted for a haiku instead of the aforementioned shoulder-fired weapon.

CAVEAT: I do not “get” the furor over ice cream trucks. This probably has to do with living on Clay Street back when it (and many of the people contained therein) were “hoppin”. Ice cream trucks would trawl my block at 11:00 p.m. Often later. I’ll leave the sundries they were offering to your imagination. Crack vials were common and no one in his (or her) right mind would ever attempt to get on the Pulaski Bridge via the stairwell on Ash Street. It was minefield laden with feces (canine and otherwise), used hypodermic needles, crack vials, homeless people and drug addicts. This is no longer the case.

I often wonder what happened to these people (and they were— are— human beings, first and foremost). On the other hand, I would be a liar if I didn’t admit that being able to use this stairwell is rather nice. Nonetheless it is a bittersweet pleasure: I suspect many of the people who once called the Pulaski their home are dead. As a (reluctant) white liberal I have grown to (reluctantly) accept I had (albeit unwittingly) some hand in this. Not knowing and/or simply not caring.

I have since learned empathy. I have come to understand that some things bother people more than others. While ice cream trucks may not bother me, they bother others hereabouts. A LOT. For this reason I decided a little film footage should accompany E’s haiku. When I walked around McCarren Park yesterday afternoon I could not find a single ice cream truck. Just a lot of 20-somethings and nannies with strollers— which I found infinitely more irritating. I’ll take a dorky jingle from an ice cream truck— over and over— before listening to a toddler (or dozen) shriek.

If I wanted to hear this shit I would have children instead of cats.

I thought to myself. Then I had an epiphany:

My screaming toddler aversion is another person’s ice cream truck hatred. Both are annoying. Both are things we could just as well do without.

Ice cream trucks fall within the letter of the law, alas wailing children don’t. That’s life for you: it fucks you coming and going. It’s best to just roll with it and have a good time. And roll I did. Without further ado, here it is: Ice Cream Truck Haiku with a little (if muted) musical accompaniment.

If any of you, dear readers, are bothered by ice cream trucks (or other noise problems) please follow the protocol I have already outlined. Call 311, file a complaint, get a complaint number and forward everything to:

Miss Heather

P.S.: This post is dedicated to the New York Post. For obvious reasons.

LAST GASP: Greenpoint Degentrification Watch

Today I intended to call it an early night. I’ve been running around like crazy all week. I’m tired. Then the following found its way to my inbox tonight at 10:06 p.m. Man, oh Manischewitz

The owner of this Lexus Infinity (which has been unburdened of its wheels) writes:

Hello Miss Heather,

Thought you may find this a bit interesting… All four OEM wheels stolen from my vehicle on Kent Street between Manhattan Ave. and Franklin St. in Greenpoint. Pics taken today 3/18/10 at 6:50p
I have become acclimatized to the odd carbecque here and therebut this?!? In the Historic District no less?!? I know a number of people who live on Kent Street. They keep a very watchful eye over their block. For this reason I am both amazed and concerned that someone could pull off stealing four tires without getting caught. But I suppose that’s gentrification for you.

Otherwise— and quite frankly— I’m speechless.

Miss Heather

P.S.: I have been told these tires were MIA as of 4:30 a.m. Thursday morning. I guess some people celebrate St. Patrick’s Day differently than others.

New York Shitty Day Ender: Bedtime

Can you find the cat in this picture (which hails from Manhattan Avenue)?

Miss Heather

Reader Contribution Du Jour: Rode Hard & Put Away Wet

March 18, 2010 ·
Filed under: 11222, Greenpoint, Greenpoint Brooklyn, Greenpoint Magic, Urban Artifact 

Jason (who forwarded me the above find) writes:

Hi Heather,

First of all, I love your blog! I have been a proud resident of the Garden Spot for 15 years, and I have come to count on you for news on our illustrious nabe…especially restaurant news. Anyway, this little (creepy, but I think most dolls are creepy) beauty was on Norman Ave near McGuinness last Friday the 12th of March. Dunno if you want to post them but here you go.

Hope you’re well, and enjoying our incipient spring weather!

Thanks for the kind words, Jason! They are greatly appreciated as is your find. And on that note I am off to enjoy this lovely day (and perhaps grab an ice cream cone). More later.

Miss Heather

Crosstown Local Photos Du Jour: Nassau Avenue

Won’t help. You gonna die unhappy Face up.

OMG! This sounds interesting! How’d they know Greenpoint peeps would into (indecipherable) and pretentious theater?

Those of you who are wondering what the above item is referencing should click here.

Miss Heather

From The New York Shitty Inbox: Spring Has Sprung!

Lindsy writes (on the evening of March 17, 2010):

I went to park at the end of Manhattan Avenue this evening while walking my dog.  I didn’t have my camera and the one on my phone is a joke.  There is a tree full of Peep chicks in a variety of color.  They are stuck onto the branches and also surround the trunk.  There also is some silly string around the base of the tree.  It was a sweet surprise and a great contrast to the factory building and the liquid waste basket known as the Newtown Creek.

I suppose it should go without saying this morning I headed to the scene in great haste.

The Peeps have indeed come to roost!

Signs of mirth were present.

The silly string has since been relocated about twenty feet to the west. Why, I do not know. I have learned it is better not to dwell too deeply upon such things.

You can always leave it to Greenpoint to be on the vanguard of springtime merrymaking. While the hoi polloi were busy celebrating St. Patrick’s Day we have advanced to Easter. Screw what the calendar says; we’re not going to let a piece of paper get in the way of our good time! Perhaps somewhere in rodentia heaven Fatboy has seen fit to smile upon us?

Miss Heather

P.S.: Lindsy was not the only person to take notice of the Peep tree.

Todd waxes poetic:

Ahhhhh the miracle of life, the endless cycle of regeneration, the bright neon that signals the approach of the equinox!!

New York Shitty Day Starter: Two Of A Kind

March 18, 2010 ·
Filed under: 11222, Greenpoint, Greenpoint Brooklyn, Greenpoint Magic, Urban Fur 

From Manhattan Avenue.

Miss Heather