Greenpoint
Cafe Cito Bogota
More People In My Neighborhood: Springtime Edition
Now that the family has come and gone I am left with the daunting task of sorting all the photographs I have taken over the last week. Follows are a few select shots of my fellow Greenpointers. Enjoy!
A Greenpoint Avenue grandma for lunch.
Nodding off in front of Mickey D’s.
Waiting for the bus with a smile and a song!
Love, Kent Street style.
Nap time at Java Car Service.
Picking a winner at Tommy’s Tavern.
Grabbing a handful at Dupont Street.
Miss Heather
From The New York Shitty Inbox: Greenpoint Orcs?
Kevin Gillespie (the person who shot the above photographs) writes (in an email entitled elves and orcs on eckford and leonard):
hey miss heather, i think we’re about to be thrust in the middle of some kind of ancient battle of monsters and magic folk… or just an itchy case of dork-rash. some uh– person– is tagging in what looks like elvish. i found the first set on leonard and norman and the second on eckford and nassau. i would have translated these myself with the power of the internet but im a 31 year old man.
Indeed. If anyone out there is up to translating the above missives please leave your findings in the comments. Inquiring Greenpoint humans want to know!
Miss Heather
UPDATE, 5:54 p.m.: Here are two more examples of this mystery writing courtesy of Bitchcakes (see comments).
New York Shitty Day Ender: The S & J Supply Marketing Strategy
When it comes to advertising the marketing wizards in our fair city seem to think bigger (and louder) is better. I could not disagree more. I have been deluged with enough jumbotrons advertising anything from booze to Hollywood’s latest craptastic opus to build up a certain level of resistance. Not unlike smallpox. If anyone in the advertising profession is reading this please take note:
- Going “bigger” in my mindset only shows a woeful lack of imagination on your part.
- Going “bigger” only makes me take note NOT to purchase the product you are shilling.
- Simply put, getting “in my face” only pisses me off.
- But a hand-written note on a humble piece of office paper asks me to get my face into something the ploy works smashingly.
CASE IN POINT: S & J Supply/Show Room on Union Avenue, Brooklyn 11211
As you can see there is no clear-cut indication as to what kind of wares this business is hawking.
But when confronted with marketing genius like the above I want to find out! Is this not the purpose of advertising? To pique a person’s curiosity?
Fuck Home Depot or Ace Hardware and their over-paid spin doctors! The next time I need a circular sander or the odd drill bit I’m going to S & J.
End.
Of.
Story.
Miss Heather
2009 Robot Monkey World Chimpionship: And The Winner Is…
Number 9.
Man oh Manischewitz was the Williamsburg versus Greenpoint robot battle fierce last night! Greenpoint’s very own Dandelion Wine* made it to the quarter finals but alas 11211 prevailed. Follows is a slide show of the event for your Sunday morning entertainment. Enjoy!
More video footage will be forthcoming later today— because you know what they say:
It doesn’t matter if you win or lose, it’s how you play the game.
And let’s just say the game was played very interestingly.
Miss Heather
*Who will be featured in today’s New York Times. Mazel Tov!
P.S.: In somewhat-related news those of you who have been wondering what’s up with this lot next door to t.b.d.
It is no longer available. The owner of t.b.d signed a lease two weeks ago and they are creating an outdoor garden/annex. I have it per a very reliable source it will be up and running Memorial Day weekend. So mark your calendar!
Crosstown Local Photo Du Jour: Total Consciousness
In all my years of patronizing the G train I have seen a lot of shit. You name it and chances are I’ve probably seen, heard, touched, smelled— and yes— tasted it at some time or another. For better or worse, the Crosstown Local is a feast for all five senses— and probably a few more. I have grown to accept this fact and find it quite endearing to be perfectly frank. The previous having been said once in a very blue moon I will encounter something that confounds even me. Tonight I had one such experience.
To truly appreciate this product of enlightened thought* click on the above image and peruse a larger photograph of the rather amazing revelation some anonymous (but very talented nonetheless) subway goer had while waiting for the “Gee, where the hell is it?” train. I’m guessing he (or she) had a lot of time on her hands to execute a master work of this caliber. This is hardly surprising.
I suppose you could also head to the Smith – 9th bound platform at Greenpoint Avenue and see it in person. Whichever best suits your time/space equilibrium. Either way it is time (and/or a Metrocard swipe) well spent.
Gunga Galunga…
Miss Heather
*And given the fact this missive is on an advertisement for Dunkin Donuts, probably some blue chip sensimilla.
Williamsburg Photo Du Jour: Metropolitan Avenue
Another day, another tree twat. That’s life in the wacky 11211 for ya!
Miss Heather
New & Noteworthy: Pink Crack Kills
I have long been of the opinion that the very special place that is Bushwick is sorely under-represented in the Brooklyn blogosphere. Needless to say when I received the following email I was tickled pink to learn the good news about Pink Crack Kills:
I like your blog about shit. I know that you stray to other topics, which is important, but the underlying thread that really makes the posts a part of a bigger whole is shit, and that’s good. I too, have a blog that deals with Brooklyn’s unsanitary side. It’s really the web presence for a zine that I, along with a few friends, publish a few times a year, but one of our favorite topics is used condoms on the streets of NYC. The vast majority of these come from Bushwick because I live there and I’m pretty sure we have more used condoms per capita than any other neighborhood in the 5 boroughs. My eyes however, are always open and my camera always ready, so Williamsburg and the ever-elusive Manhattan street condom show up whenever I see them… So I guess what I’m trying to say is check us out.
Jonathan W. Smith, C.E.O. pinkcrackkills.com
Check them out I did. Not only did I find some of the promised used prophylactics but gems such as the photograph gracing the beginning of this post were also awaiting my delectation. Congratulations Bushwick, you have finally gotten the web presence you so richly deserve. Check it out!
Miss Heather
Greenpoint Fashion Watch: The Aviator
I have lived in Greenpoint for over nine years now. It certainly doesn’t feel like I have lived here the better part of a decade but this in fact the case. I guess time flies when you’re having fun. As time has gone by I have witnessed a number of highly unusual things in my neighborhood of choice. This includes (but by no means is limitied to):
- Watching an old Polish woman drop her underwear and go to the bathroom at a temporary stop of the B43 bus.
- Having as a neighbor a woman who wore a sleeping bag wrapped around her head like a turban.
- Finding a man passed out cold on the stairs leading up to his stoop at 2:00 a.m. in the morning. His car keys were still in his hand but someone had seen fit to steal his shoes.
- Jessica.
- Learning that a one armed man is one of the junk shops most ingenious shoplifters: he even succeeded in stealing a pair of shoes once. (Think about this one for a moment.)
- And of course there was the legally blind guy who wanted me to “model” for some “pin up” photographs.
Suffice it to say the Garden Spot of the Universe had (and still has) some highly unusual people. What would probably merit a 911 call in Brooklyn Heights would not get some much as second glance here. Have I become jaded? This is a distinct possibility. However I know something (or someone) special when I see it. Which brings me to this guy.
I apologize for the poor quality of this photograph. The truth of the matter is I was in awe at the sheer sublimity of what the Greenpoint gods had seen fit to send my direction. I have christened this chap “The Aviator” and he is too fucking amazing for words.
I quietly (but very excitedly) stalked this man until he stopped to pause in front of a liquor store. I got up the nerve to speak with him. I mean, how often do you see a guy walking down the street who is a dead ringer for one of the frogmen from the movie Delicatessen? Don’t everyone answer at once.
Where did you get those goggles? They are fucking amazing.
I asked. To wit he replied:
I really like this absinthe fountain. Every time I try my prepare it at home I just don’t get it right.
Why don’t you go inside and ask about it? I am certain he will sell it to you.
I replied.
Oh, he is selling them. I like that because I won’t have to order one.
And with that remark he went on his way.
InFUCKINGcredible.
Miss Heather
Greenpoint Fashion Watch
Filed under: 11222, Advanced Life Forms, Greenpoint, Greenpoint Brooklyn, Greenpoint Magic
The last twenty four hours my inbox has been abuzz with fashion. More specifically the stylings of a certain physician whose office is on Greenpoint Avenue between Manhattan Avenue and Franklin Street.
Bitchcakes writes:
Walking up Greenpoint Ave yesterday (from Franklin going towards Manhattan Ave), Matt and I noticed this advertisement in a window (attached). It was just screaming your name, so I had to make sure you saw it.
Mike writes:
My name is Mike, I’m one of the writers of the NAG blog- thanks for the bloggy love- we got a lot of hits from you.
This isn’t NAG blog material, but totally up your alley…
The attached picture is of a poster is in one of the newly-renovated buildings on the south side of Greenpoint Ave b/t Manhattan and Franklin. Everything about it says “please don’t let this man touch your privates, even in a medical context.”
What is all the Garden Spot fuss about, you ask?
This guy.
Nice bow tie.
Miss Heather
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