Greenpoint Photos Du Jour: Water Tower

March 15, 2014

March 20, 2014

As you can see, gentle readers, something has come to pass in the last few days. Follows are a few thoughts:

  1. This is one of my favorite landmarks in Greenpoint. In fact one of my all time favorite photos I have ever taken is of this water tower.
  2. This pisses me off. Big time.
  3. I suspect a number of the folks reading this list agree with the previous two points.
  4. Some may find prodigal penises (penii?) hanging from telephone lines offensive. I respect their opinion. However, let’s face facts: a. it does not entail destruction of property b. it is not taking a crap on someone else’s culture.
  5. I do hope an effort will be made to restore this flag to its previous state.
  6. I want each and every one of my fellow north Brooklynites to remember this the next time certain pillars of our community extoll upon the benefits of the tourism economy. Straight up: vandalism of this variety is not perpetrated by folks who live hereabouts. Rather, it is the handwork of those who reside outside the community and as such do not treat it with the same level of care and respect as residents do. Or at least this is the only plausible reason/excuse I can find for this.
  7. Any/all “news outlets” which see fit to run with this news item: remember to cite!

The Word On The Street: The People Have Spoken (Once Again)

Keep BK Safe

Today yours truly opted to take a brief constitutional around north ‘Point. As I did I noticed that Charles Hynes, or more specifically his supporters, have seen fit to press the manifold number of construction fences hereabouts into service as billboards. The above missive can be found on Green Street between Manhattan Avenue and Franklin Street. I just about shot coffee out of my nose when I read the tag line at the bottom:

Political Corruption600

Do not let political corruption take over the DA’s Office

Excuse me if I am wrong here but I suspect the reason Mr. Hynes was defeated, by quite a commanding margin I’ll add, by Ken Thompson in the Democratic Primary was due to the fact folks hereabouts are tired of political corruption in the Brooklyn DA’s office. Then again, it has been established that Mr. Hynes does not seem to see it this way. That’s why he is running as a Republican. But I digress.

Gpt Avenue

When I reached Greenpoint Avenue I was faced with this fellow’s visage once more. I was like:

Enough is enough.

And proceeded across the street to tear these damned things down. As I got closer I made an amusing discovery— one which made me reconsider my “plan of action”. It made me smile— and proud to be a Greenpointer!


Well done, anonymous Greenpoint hooligan. WELL DONE!

UPDATE, 6:06 p.m.: It has been brought to my attention that SANO (whose sign can been seen on the fence on Green Street) has had its license revoked for non-payment of taxes. Don’t take my word for it:

Quicklink: WTF???

June 26, 2013 ·
Filed under: 11211, Asshole, Criminal Activity, Williamsburg, Williamsburg Brooklyn, Wow, WTF 


Your eyes are not deceiving you. You can read the whole gruesome story by clicking here. A few thoughts/observations:


  1. As it would happen, I know where this grisly find was made: North 10 Street between Wythe and Kent Avenue. The above photo was taken June 24th. You can see the Wythe Hotel in the background. It appears to be a homeless encampment and it has been here for some time. (Think: at least a month.) When one thinks about it, that makes this despicable act even more despicable: in addition to animal cruelty, the miscreant responsible for this had to leave his (?) “gift” in someone’s “home”. Being homeless is bad enough in and of itself. Really folks.
  2. Where these alligator parts were found is very close to the Bushwick Inlet Park Soccer Field. Where, some of you might recall, someone saw fit to hang the body of a dead cat to the goal post recently.

View Larger Map

Is this the handiwork of the same person? Whose to say? Personally, I hope it is because the thought of two people engaging in this kind of behavior makes my blood boil. In any case it is sick as hell and I hope the authorities catch the person(s) responsible.

New York Shitty Day Starter: 239 Banker Street Craigslist Advertisement Du Jour

September 21, 2012 ·
Filed under: 11222, Asshole, Greenpoint, Greenpoint Brooklyn, Greenpoint Magic 

Now they’re employing YouTube footage.

New York Shitty analysis:

  • It would probably be advisable to remove the personal items from the previous tenants (who were vacated by the Department of Buildings) before filming.
  • Then again, who cares?

But the insanity does not end there. Let’s proceed, shall we?

So now:

  • 239 Banker Street
  • The Sweater Factory Lofts
  • The Factory Lofts
  • The 39 Meserole Avenue Lofts
  • The “Rustic House” Artists Lofts

are now known as 245 Banker Street. Fascinating. By any other address it still has Stop Work Order.


Spotted On Diamond Street: Hate

The above image comes from a residnent of Diamond Street. He/she writes on September 15, 2012:

From outside my apartment building.

I have brought this rather ugly item to the attention to the head of the 94th Precinct, D.I. Hurson, among others. While outside of his jurisdiction, hopefully he can help get this loathsome piece of vandalism— to Federal property no less— removed. I have demonstrated— time and time again— I have neither time nor tolerance for this crap. Seriously.

P.S.: This post is dedicated the incredibly motivated Chief of Staff of our City Councilman’s office: Ashley Thompson. This dedicated civil servant saw fit to send me a nastygram calling me (among other things) “hateful” and a “cyberbully” Friday night at 7:47 p.m. Getting a dressing-down about ethics— much less “bullying”—  from someone who is albeit two degrees removed from “Gropez” and the machine his protege (her boss) is eagerly facilitating— well, that speaks for itself.

New York Shitty Videos Du Jour: Live From The B62

To preface: Today yours truly decided a walk across the Williamsburg Bridge (this is one of my favorite leisure time activities) was in order. Since I was running late I decided to take the B62 bus to the Southside in order to make up for lost time. It didn’t exactly work out that way. In my guesstimation my travel time (from Greenpoint Avenue) was one hour. How did this happen, you ask? Read on and find out!

Let me explain to you, dear readers, what you have just watched. Our intrepid bus driver, frustrated that a motorist elected to parallel park in front of his vehicle in a manner which precluded him from performing his duty (READ: driving)— and upon discovering honking his horn was useless— prevailed upon a police officer for help. First, I’ll tender the good news: our finest prevailed! And now the bad news…

Clearly displeased with the outcome of this exchange our motorist (being insane, an asshole or some combination thereof) decided running to the next bus stop and resuming (t)his altercation was in order. If you listen very carefully at the end he says (and I quote):

You want to kill me? You want to kill me? Let’s do it!

The next time you, gentle readers, get angry at a member of our Transit Authority for being gruff or downright rude I want to think about what you have just watched. I for one commend this bus driver’s restraint. I for one cannot fathom what it would be like to deal with this shit every day.

I suspect I speak for a number of my fellow mass transit patrons this afternoon when I write I had the utmost desire to take this fellow up on his offer. In closing, I would like to humbly suggest— moving forward— that if/when this chap wants a fight he should stick his head up his ass and fight for air. The rest of us have lives.

P.S.: If anyone from the M.T.A. is reading this give this bus driver a raise. Yesterday. He is an absolute prince— and I told him so!

New York Shitty Day Ender: Reader Comment du Jour

May 9, 2012 ·
Filed under: 11222, Asshole, Greenpoint, Greenpoint Brooklyn, Greenpoint Magic 

Calyer Cooze notes (in regards to this post):

And here’s the latest Craigslist ad! Nausea, indeed. (As seen above, for posterity)

On that note, I had a very interesting bit of information brought to my attention. That being:

239 Banker Street does not have an a Certificate of Occupancy for a hotel. Thus the question becomes why are they being taxed as such? Anyone who cares to take up this interesting discrepancy can (and should) do so by clicking here.

Spotted On North 12 Street: 1%

Taken January 31, 2012.

From The New York Shitty Inbox, Part II: India Street Cats Poisoned?

I have received word that someone has attempted— and in one case, succeeded*— to poison the feral cats who call the end of India Street their home. If any of you, dear readers, see suspicious activity please call the police. Otherwise here’s what a commenter in the know has to say about animal abuse:

Poisoning Cats in New York State is a Felony

Punishment for this crime is 2 year in prison and/or a $5,000 fine

To file a report contact:
Humane Law Enforcement of the ASPCA
212-876-7700 ext. 4450

Neighborhood Cats, Inc.

*He was found dead by the colony’s caretaker, a man named Sandy.

A New York Shitty Op Ed: Banned From FB

September 27, 2011 ·
Filed under: Asshole, Fuck This Shit 

(Or: How To Get a 24 Hour “Time Out” Courtesy of Facebook In Two Easy Steps)

It has not necessarily been an easy month for yours truly. This has been doubly the case the last few days; someone placed a particularly nasty piece of code into this web site thus directing it to a host of spam/phishing sites. It took the Mister two days to finally track it down and eradicate it. The result is what you are seeing now. I assure you, dear readers, this format merely temporary. But I digress.

We were not alone in this endeavor to rid New York Shitty of its “guest”. A very nice lady named Lisanne helped us and to this end she and I dialoged via Facebook as the Mister worked furiously until late into the night. Wishing to thank her, I tried to log onto Facebook yesterday morning (so as to shoot her a message). This was the missive which awaited me:

For those of you who are not in the know, this is not the first time I have been admonished for violating Facebook’s “Statement of Rights & Responsibilities”. This was my second strike. I’m not too certain what happens on “strike three” but I imagine I will find out soon enough.

What precipitated my first run-in with the Facebook Police, you ask? The answer will amuse you: Michele Bachmann. More specifically, this rather hideous photo of her eating a corn dog.

When I first spied this photo on Copyranter I cringed. Then I started laughing fiendishly with utter abandon. I was of the distinct impression that the more people who knew about/saw this image, the better. So I made it my avatar. It was a big hit— but alas, I got “caught”. I was given a warning by Facebook and forced to review their rules. Without further ado, here they are:

I’ll be perfectly frank: I stopped reading at “Bullying and Harassment”. The thought of (successfully) bullying Mrs. Bachmann— who has made more than a few people miserable herself— felt too damned good. Instead, I mulled the matter over and came to the conclusion that if this photo was flagged it was, perchance, because the “flagger” in question was a Rick Perry fan. So I decided to oblige him/her with a new avatar! I aim to please.

I know what you’re thinking:

This is what got Heather in trouble with Facebook!

No, it wasn’t. In fact, this was my avatar until last night. Mr. Perry administering “services” to Michelangelo’s “Adam” was somehow overlooked. Go figure. But before I give the reveal as to what happens when you cross Facebook twice (and tender an unobstructed image of the offending item) I would like to take a moment to review a few items I have posted which Facebook did not find objectionable:

This post (regarding the hysteria on non-Hurricane Irene) passed muster.

As did this. So employing a slang term for ejaculate is A-ok. Following me so far, folks? Excellent!

Memorializing a tree that looks like a “lady flower”? “No problem!” says Facebook!

Here’s the deal folks: we’re all adults. I suspect I speak on the behalf of the adult community when I write that being punished for a second infraction of Facebook’s (seemingly arbitrary) rules by being given a 24 hour “time out” (READ: being blocked from uploading any content or commenting on posts) is, well, childish. And this is exactly what happened yesterday:

I was then directed (once again) to their read “Community Standards”.

To recap:

1. No Threats
2. No Promoting Self Harm
3. Bullying & Harassment
4. Hate Speech
5. Graphic Violence
6. Sex & Nudity
7. Theft, Vandalism or Fraud
8. Identity & Privacy
9. Intellectual Property
10. Phishing & Spam

Are all covered in the 10 Commandments of Facebook. I want you, gentle readers, to keep these in mind when viewing what precipitated my 24 hour banishment from the their community. Drum roll please…

A photograph of one of my shoes into which one of our cats was kind enough to discharge a hairball. I’m not making this up.

New York Shitty analysis: I see lots of objectionable content online and on Facebook in particular. Instead of crying “moral outrage” and advocating censorship I simply vote with my point and clicks. In other words: I go elsewhere. Is a photo of a hairball-laden piece of footwear truly worthy of censure folks? Sure, it is disgusting— but still? After giving the matter some thought (which I am guessing was the purpose of this whole exercise: penance) I have concluded it wasn’t. In fact, I am going to conclude this post with a message to Facebook. Realizing it is “off-color” I have taken the liberty of punishing myself in advance in true Facebook “form”: a bar of Irish Spring right in the ol’ kisser!

Suck it.

Update, October 1, 2011: But apparently making light of rape and deriding rape victims is okay per Facebook. Go figure.