New York Shitty Photos Du Jour: A Revue Of Third Avenue Adult Establishments

The Tie King Corp nys

Shipley and York nys

Fallen nys

Industry City

Bike Racks

Industry City 2

Recently my colleague over at Vanishing New York, Jeremiah, asked folks for suggestions as to what to check out in Sunset Park which will undoubtedly be imperiled with the advent of its city— and therefore tax dollar— sponsored DUMBOfication. He received a number of excellent recommendations— and I am not simply saying that because I tendered a couple. (I did.) Most centered around the industrial waterfront (goner), 5th Avenue (“Little Mexico”) and 8th Avenue (Chinatown). Yes, all of these are at risk to some degree or another— but when (after all this Sunset Park talk) I:

  1. opted to revisit myself and
  2. on a lark strolled Third Avenue between 25th and 53rd Street.

Then it hit me.

Not Open 24 Hours nys

Closed nys

There sure are a lot of adult entertainment establishments. Straight up:

  • It is not my intent to step on Jeremiah’s toes. I am certain he’ll have his own take— and I very much look forward to reading it.
  • If I had to hazard a guess, I’d say first you’ll see waterfront industry pushed out in exchange for luxury residential space (is there any other kind worth of the waterfront nowadays?) and film facilities. Let’s just say it is a hunch.
  • Then you’ll see XXX establishments go. You know, because the residents of the aforementioned (and still unrealized) residential property will not want this kind of thing in their proverbial “backyard”.

Would someone please think of the (our) children.

They will undoubtedly cry— and I can assure you they will be listened to. The last one to the proverbial table is invariably the first one served. This is how it has played out in Williamsburg and Greenpoint. I fail to see how Sunset Park will be any different.

Would someone please think of the porn!

is my retort. Obviously someone is thinking about porn— a lot. How else can one explain why there are so many adult entertainment establishments thereabouts? What’s more, I feel it is my responsibility to document them before they invariably are removed. It is my endeavor— no, make that DUTY— to be the advocate of/fluffer for the marginalized. And given how Cutelyn is coming along, being marginalized should be worn as a badge of honor.

So give it up already?!?

Some of you (and you know who you are) are undoubtedly asking. I will. But if you’re looking for explicit material prepare to be disappointed. Let’s face facts: all porn shops more or less sell the same thing.

  • Insert tab “a” into slot “b”
  • Insert tab “a” into slot “c”
  • Insert tab “a” into slot “d”
  • All of the above.

I am simply going to give a photo run-down with a little commentary here and there. Besides, if you have made it this far you’re:

  • probably not a porn enthusiast
  • or you are a porn enthusiast and as such understand it involves sitting through a bunch of shit you do not care about so as to enjoy the “good stuff” or
  • you’re too busy watching porn to care. Just kidding.

Here we go!

Golden DVD Inc.

Golden DVD Inc nys

Other than the rainbow flag (which would suggest this establishment is GBLTQ friendly) not much to see here. Let’s continue!

Name indecipherable (Address: 3906 3rd Avenue— Google it. It’s interesting.)

3906 Third Avenue nys

Neighbors nys

The last time I walked by this place they had a Christmas tree in the window. That was Cinco De Mayo. They have since spruced up the display and appear to have washed the windows. I miss the Christmas tree.

Video City

Video City nys

Teen Mom 2 nys

Thanks to Video City I now know that Teen Mom Farrah 2 is available— and you do too!

Name/Address Unknown

24 Hour Video nys

Purple

Posted this one already. Not sure if the used condom is a validation of this establishment’s product or otherwise— but I actually saw a fellow walk out of this place. Typing away an Apple tablet, no less. Analyze that.

Hookah Candy Love, Inc.

Hookah Candy Love Inc nys

Hookah Candy Love 2 nys

The Mister agreed that this one is a winner by its name alone. He also noticed it was under new management. Take that assessment as you will.

The Place With No Name (112 3rd Avenue)

The Place With No Name nys

Place With No Name Display nys

I noted to the Mister that this was much more to my liking (as opposed to “Hookah Candy Love, Inc.”). Sure the window display lacks charisma, but who can resist a porn establishment that looks like iHop? What’s more, both are open 24 hours! Coincidence? I (tongue in cheek) think not.

And now last— but hardly least— the establishment which started this crawl (Yes, I have been listing these establishments in reverse order). As discovered just a hop-skip from the N train at 25th Street.

761 Wines Deep Throat Sign nys

I, who does not sport a Vassar education, inexplicably found this disturbing— but not so much as to preclude going in for a closer look.

761 3rd Ave Wine sign nys

Sure enough, there she was again. I wish I could remember who she reminds me of? She looks like someone I have seen recently. In any case the liquor and wine this place is sporting must be good if a woman is about to give it a “hummer”.

SHAME nys

This was validated by the wall/window of shame they have on the premises.

Patron Thief nys

Something must be good if folks endeavor to steal it. The New York Post has “amplified” me on more than one occasion.

Patron Perps NYS

Patron. Excellent choice!

761 3rd Avenue Liquor Store and Porn Shop nys

When I glanced at the business next door I noticed something.

This was no mere liquor store— it was an EMPIRE of vice!

761 3rd Avenue nys

And the “rebels” in question purloin not only Patron— but also porn.

MORE SHAME nys

If that isn’t the stuff of a good Friday night— or weekend even— I honestly do not know what is.

Happy Friday night, New York City!

This post is, after considerable consideration, dedicated to Carlos Menchaca Doree Lewak.

DIPSHIT

Why not take the 3rd Avenue challenge? Walk 3rd Avenue— Brooklyn— between 25th and 53rd Street, in your Carrie Bradshaw attire and write about how validated you feel for your looks. Provided, of course, you do not stumble and bust your head open wearing those ill-fitting spike heels. Wedges honey. Better yet: flip flops or sneakers.

The Word On The Street, Part II: Knickerbocker Avenue

Knickerbocker 3 nys

Knickerbocker 2 nys

Knickerbocker 1 nys

It is fascinating (to me anyway— and not in a good way) when I see sentiments on a sidewalk which echo a snow globe I made not terribly long ago.

Of course now that Greenpoint and Williamsburg have become prohibitively expensive folks have to move somewhere. And with them come selective enforcement…

East Village Photos Du Jour: The Maginot Line

Cordon Sanitaire 1 NYS

Cordon Sanitaire 2 NYS

Although located in the East Village, I am certain plenty of folks on this side of the East River (especially those who reside in Williamsburg and along Franklin Street) can relate to what is being attempted here: a cordon sanitaire so folks who reside in the adjacent building do not have ingress and egress precluded by patrons of the establishment next door.

Cordon Sanitaire 3 NYS

Sadly, it appears to be about as effective as its namesake.

Update, June 29th: I stand corrected! A fellow named Robert writes:

Your posts are usually on the money. This post:
Is totally wrong, sadly; It’s not a resident line, or anything; Abraço opened up a little 2nd market store, roughly 6 doors down: the pink line is in fact a number of arrows leading their customers down the street.
(I was there yesterday)
So there have you!

The Word On The Street: Welcome to Jerklyn

Jerklyn 600

Williamsburg Bridge 600

Taken June 20, 2014.

The Word On The Street, Part II: Queens Boulevard

Taken May 30, 2014.

Crosstown Local Photos Du Jour: G is for…

Taken May 5, 2014.

The Word On The Street: Special East Village Edition

Taken April 18, 2014.

New York Shitty Photos Du Jour: Good Friday Tidings From Union Square

Or: What is wrong with this picture?

Today the Mister took the day off and we opted to take a sojourn into “the city”. Our first stop was Union Square. There we saw a number of fascinating things. Follows are a few selections.

This young lady who— for reasons which do not need to be outlined— elicited a great deal of “interest”.

And this fellow, Felix Morelo, drawing faces (as he is known to do) with sidewalk chalk. They lead to the “Kissing Spot”.

Here he is giving yours truly a “thumbs up”.

And here he is getting a verbal reprimand from this public space’s rent-a-cops and parks staff. They were not amused.

It was explained to Mr. Morelo that he is not to engage in this (clearly) disruptive, destructive behavior because they would have to clean it up.

Once again, gentle readers: he was drawing a “Kissing Spot”. With sidewalk chalk. You want to know why yours truly dislikes public/private parks “partnerships”, gentle readers? You just saw it. Sure, the proponents this arrangement like to extol upon its financial benefits. However, there is a down-side to this kind of thing: “gate-keepers” are brought in to enforce “standards”— and those standards can (and often do) reach this level of utter absurdity. Sue Bee said it best:

Sidewalk chalk. Are you fucking kidding me?

New York Shitty Photo Du Jour: Oblivious

Taken April 5, 2014.

The Word On The Street, Part II: Ten Eyck Street

Taken February 20, 2014.