Greenpoint
Cafe Cito Bogota
From the CB1 Yahoo Group: Landlord Harassment & Then Some
Filed under: 11222, Crazy People, Criminal Activity, Culture War, Greenpoint Brooklyn, Greenpoint Magic, Kensington
Ann-Marie writes:
Yesterday my mother and I were assaulted by our landlord in the building’s hallway. Three real estate agents working for the Corcoran Group were there. While I would not expect them to risk physical injury I would expect them to call the police or try to calm the people involved.
They did nothing. Just stood and watched what unfolded. One of the agents laughed at what was happening. Even after the police arrived the agents still lingered in the hallway watching “the show”. I find them despicable as human beings and wonder if the Corcoran Group with its steller marketing ads would want something like this publicized.
I had called 911. The police took down all necssary information. My mother and I have each filed a complaint and will seek an order of protection through criminal court.
As the landlord was leaving he verbally tripled our rent and said he is going to get us out – by which he will probably file for eviction. We have contacted various agencies for help. Since we live in a “private” house and are not in a rent controlled or rent stabilized apartment not one agency seems to have our situation under their jurisdiction.
Unfortunately I am unemployed right now and lost what little savings I accumulated in the recent stock market crash. So while I would logically look for another apartment or to find a “rent to own” a townhouse (in another state – on my salary and my mother’s SSI we cannot afford New York) my hands are tied. I only ask everyone to pray for us.
I honestly do not know what to say about this other than if what Ann-Marie writes is true— and there is no reason I can think of to disbelieve her— this is appalling. And inexcusable.
Miss Heather
UPDATE, 7:00 p.m.: Laura Hofmann has brought this to my attention:
Ann-Marie served on the Brooklyn Community Board 1 Rezoning Task Force Open Space Committee for the duration of the rezoning process. It is in part, due to her work that everyone in the community will enjoy our community parks.
Williamsburg Photo du Jour: I Do
From Frost Street.
Miss Heather
Wiiliamsburg Election Watch: No Confidence
I suspect I speak for many when I say I harbor no, zero, ZILCH enthusiasm regarding the upcoming election. Even though we, the voters, ostensibly have a “choice” the selection of candidates for the 2009 Mayoral Race strikes me as being tantamount to selecting between syphilis and gonorrhea. Either way you’re still sick.
Which brings me to a “write-in” candidate I discovered at the Lorimer Street entrance of the L train earlier today:
NOBODY.
Miss Heather
From The New York Shitty Inbox: Hey Ladies!
Christina writes (in an email entitled “An Offer You Cannot Refuse”):
Go ahead, admit it…you know you want him!
You know, I have procrastinated coloring my hair because I simply cannot make up my mind. This may very well be the deal maker: clearly blondes do have more fun!* In Harlem, anyway.
Miss Heather
*Or not. It has been brought to my attention that this solicitation has since been annotated.
Why can’t we all just get along?
Williamsburg Construction Watch: The Blair Witch Project?
Filed under: 11211, Abjectecture, Area 51, Bloomblight, Culture War, King's Crap, Williamsburg, Williamsburg Brooklyn
Some of you might have noticed that I have a category on this site called “Area 51″. For those of you who are not in the know this is a reference to the mysterious military installation in Nevada. Many theories abound about this establishment but no one really knows what goes on there. But back to the point of this post.
When I awoke this morning my head felt like Keith Moon’s hotel room after a bender. I don’t know why. I’m guessing the weather, not alien abduction, was to blame. I decided to shake the cobwebs out of my mind by taking a little walk around Williamsburg. What I got in return was a colossal mind fuck which could fall under a number of categories. Among them:
- Bloomblight
- Construction/Destruction Porn
- Gentrification
- Culture War
- Halloween
This is the reason I created the category “Area 51″: it is a repository for things that defy easy description. On that note, here they are.
#1 5 Roebling Street
These monolithic slabs of King’s Crap sit atop the space formerly occupied by the now deceased “Giant Fart Cloud Building”. It was at this site that I found two items of interest.
I cannot for the life of me figure what this missive means— much less to whom it is directed. Perhaps the following artifact (which is located approximately 20 feet away) has something to do with it?
Truth be told this gave me the creeps. Big time. Thankfully I got some good mojo shortly thereafter on North 10 Street. Which brings to…
#2 178 North 10 Street
What could I possibly find uplifting on this block, you ask? The first and only use of Feng Shui at a construction site I have ever beheld, that’s what!
A bagua presides over 178 North 10 Street. Having some knowledge about such stuff, baguas are usually employed to redirect/deflect bad “chi”. In the case of this block one has to wonder what is the source of said bad vibrations.
This?
Or this?
Miss Heather
East Williamsburg Photo Du Jour: Dear Sir/Madam
Filed under: 11206, Culture War, Dog Shit Signage, East Williamsburg, East Williamsburg Brooklyn
It would appear the gentrification of Meserole Street is bravely marching on despite the sour economy. Note how the author of this missive not only addresses his (or her) readers as “sir” and “madam” but he even saw fit to laminate his tome. This person is a class act.
Miss Heather
New York Shitty Day Starter: Simple Pleasures
Filed under: 11222, Area 51, Criminal Activity, Culture War, Greenpoint, Greenpoint Brooklyn, Greenpoint Magic
Last week I saw a hipster wearing a “Mad Hatter’s” chapeau on Manhattan Avenue. Tucked in the band of his hat was a card reading: “I (marijuana leaf) NY”. I got peeved.
Lest I have not made my stance on “vice” clear before I will now: legalize it, regulate it and tax it. I don’t care what you do in the privacy of your homes— in fact, I don’t want to know— and I expect the same courtesy in return. Don’t shit in my proverbial living room and I won’t shit in yours. Call me a curmudgeon, but the biggest impediment to marijuana being decriminalized in my opinion are the hemptards . You know who I am talking about: the burn-outs who hang around Bedford Avenue canvassing to legalize marijuana. Perfect right wing fodder.
Their energy could be used for a better and more subversive use.
I thought to myself. Yesterday I found such as an example: in my wallet. I reached into my “Stripper roll”* to purchase sundries to find something most amusing:
Me: Oh my! I’m not giving you this.
Shop Owner (concerned): ???
Me (handing said promissory note over for his delectation): Look at it.
(Shop Owner and fellow cashier laugh)
Is it my imagination or does George look like a cross of Fidel Castro, Che Guevara and Haile Selassie?
Miss Heather
*A wad of paper money whose higher denominations are on the outer layers for everyone’s edification.
Crosstown Local Photo Du Jour: What Would Nietzsche Do?
Filed under: 11222, Crosstown Local, Culture War, Greenpoint, Greenpoint Brooklyn, Greenpoint Magic
From the Queens-bound platform at Greenpoint Avenue.
Miss Heather
From The New York Shitty Inbox: Gentrification?!?
Filed under: 11206, 11211, 11222, 11237, Bed-Stuy, Bloomblight, Brooklyn, Bushwick, Culture War, East Williamsburg, East Williamsburg Brooklyn, Ft. Greene, Greenpoint, Greenpoint Brooklyn, Greenpoint Magic, Kensington, Long Island City, New York City, Queens, Williamsburg, Williamsburg Brooklyn
Interesting things happen when I stay up late. Mind you, they are not usually good things. But this case may very well be an exception: in the wee hours of the morning today the following found its way into my inbox.
Anni Atkinson of Earthsharing.org.au (Yes kids, that’s Australia) writes:
have you ever heard of GENTRIFICATION?
well, not many people have which is surprising as it effects us all.
so, I am attempting to do something about this! well, me and the team at Earthsharing Australia! I work with a not-for-profit called Earthsharing that offers free education services on economics and we focus on economic justice for all.
Currently we are working on an international film competition with the theme of ‘Gentrification’ which looks at issues of gentrification and how such cycles effect creative communities and artists in our cities. First Prize is $3000, with runner up prizes from Madman and Crumpler.
your blog is rad and we would be honored if you could throw a little love our way and mention the film competition to your readers!
Please contact me for more details including a press release or an e-flyer.
In the mean time, check out our website for more details!
The first line of this email made me erupt into fits of uncontrollable (and demented) laughter. Have I heard of gentrification? Feeling more than a little raffish, I wrote back:
You are asking ME, a resident of Greenpoint, Brooklyn, USA (which is located pretty much halfway around the globe from you), to inform my readership about film competition about GENTRIFICATION?!? Greenpoint: a neighborhood where a “luxury” condos proliferate in the shadow of the east coast’s largest WASTE TREATMENT PLANT? Where environmental issues the likes of which you cannot begin to comprehend remain unabated. And yet artists are being pushed out because there are people willing to dole out $2,000+ USD rent for a one bedroom/studio for this?
Give me the fuggin’ flier, your creds and press release— STAT.
Well, she did.
I’ve done some poking around and this contest is 100% legit. Let’s show our friends down under how our fair city treats the creative community and everyone else who cannot a condo or $2,000 a month rent? You can get the 411 on how to enter this contest by checking out Earthsharing’s web site or by emailing them at: timmah (at) earthsharing (dot) org (dot) au
NOTE: they are currently requiring that entries be mails. I have suggested they accept submissions via YouTube as mailing matter overseas can be both costly and dicey. They are looking into it.
Otherwise, you can play the Gentrification Game by clicking here. Simply put you are a landlord/speculator and your goal is to kick out tenants. Play it. It’s a fucking HOOT!
Miss Heather
P.S.: Earthsharing also has a number of interesting videos on YouTube. Check ‘em out. You’ll find the tales contained therein eerily familiar.
From The New York Shitty Inbox: Helicopters?
Filed under: 11222, Bloomblight, Criminal Activity, Culture War, Greenpoint, Greenpoint Brooklyn, Greenpoint Magic
Shashi writes:
know anything about those incessant helicopters over greenpoint from 6-7:30 in the morning? traffic copters? how does one complain about them?
Truth be told Shashi, I am not 100% clear on what your recourse is. However if you are writing in reference to the helicopters flying around the waterfront this morning methinks I can give you answer. I have it on very good intelligence that our very own Mayor was in the far north Garden Spot conducting some kind of dog and pony show which we will undoubtedly be subjected to in the near future. I am certain the message will (more or less) be:
Everything’s just great!
Had our fearless leader bothered to actually step out where the common peasants live he would quickly ascertain things most decidedly are not.
Looks like the natives are getting restless.
Some of my colleagues amplifiers in the print media might have noticed I have given no indication whatsoever as to where either of the previous items are to be found. You can rest assured they are in Greenpoint and the lack of naming their specific locations was no oversight on my part. If you are going to earn your livelihood plagiarizing my work I’m going to make good and damned sure to make you work for it.
Now that I have undoubtedly sent a pack of hack reporters scurrying around the Garden Spot looking for Nazi lamp posts*, do you have any advice, dear readers as to how Shashi should handle her noise problem? My educated guess is she needs to call 311 and file a complaint with the Department of Environmental Protection.
Miss Heather
*Oh yeah— if think you’re being clever by referencing the comment Tony left on this post:
This is much better than the swastikas I’ve been noticing on lamp post bases lately… just saw another today on Nassau @ Russell.
You’re not. As of 3:00 this afternoon there were no swastikas whatsoever to be found at this location. My guess is (given the police presence I saw there) they had been made note of and removed. Happy hunting!
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