Greenpoint
Cafe Cito Bogota
From The New York Shitty Inbox, Part II: Special Delivery
Filed under: 11215, 11217, Bum Shit, Dog Shit, Dung of the Day, Other Shit, Park Slope, Park Slope Brooklyn
A person we’ll call “M” writes (in an email entitled “Park Slope Pooper”):
Hi Miss H,
As you noticed from my facebook status, I had a close-up shitty encounter in my building vestibule today. I thought you might appreciate the lowdown.
The initial sighting was upon leaving the apartment a little after noon. The vestibule is between two supposedly locked doors. The first door is between the street and the mailboxes and a couple of non-live work spaces (both of which are currently rented). And the second separates the vestibule from the stairway to the apartments within.
The outer door is malfunctioning. Again. Last time, I had a renewal credit card stolen and some happy thief charged themselves a few trinkets and some flashy new duds. The time before, a mail-order purchase never arrived, or more likely it was stolen. But this time, I got the prize.
Poop. A big, smelly blob of shit and a couple of shit-streaked paper towels strewn nearby, icing on the freakin’ cake.
The best thing about this is, there is no super or landlord onsite. Anything that happens on the weekend, you are, pardon the pun, SOL. If you want the poop cleaned up, you’re doing the cleaning. Unless you want step over a pile of feces all weekend.
I have several neighbors, but unless everyone stayed in their homes this morning, they must have seen, and just stepped over the offensive pile. Someone had sprayed a copious amount of lemon-scented air freshener in the hallway (it was needed) but no one had bothered to even contact the landlord about the incident prior to my doing so. Sadly, this “someone will take care of it” attitude is common in my building and my rapidly-changing neighborhood. Yea, someone else. Notes posted in the hall and repeated emails to each tenant instructing them to shut the “security” door firmly and make sure it is fastened properly, have fallen on deaf ears.
So, while holding my breath and with multiple layers of makeshift plastic bags as “gloves” protecting my hands, I cleaned up the disgusting human waste and poured disinfectant on the toilet-spot. But before I did so, I snapped these shots that I thought you would appreciate. Excuse the blurriness, but I was fighting off a stench that surpasses that of Newtown Creek after the rains.
Now that the Park Slope Pooper has found vestige in my vestibule, what can I anticipate finding tomorrow morning?
Feel free to post my sad tale, and please keep my identity/contact info confidential.
Happy Saturday!
Right back at ya, M!
Miss Heather
A Vincent V. Abate Playground Update: Still There!
Filed under: 11211, 11222, Bum Shit, Dung of the Day, Greenpoint, Greenpoint Brooklyn, Greenpoint Magic, Other Shit, Williamsburg, Williamsburg Brooklyn
August 16, 2011
August 17, 2011
It would appear the Abate poo pile (replete with asswipe!) has proven problematic to one playground user. Whoops.
Miss Heather
New York Shitty Photo du Jour: From North 12 Street With Love
Filed under: 11211, Bum Shit, Dog Shit, Dung of the Day, Williamsburg, Williamsburg Brooklyn
Today yours truly saw a number of remarkable things while knocking around north Brooklyn, but this item (which is located in front of The Residences at The Williamsburg) takes the cake. Whether the medium is the message is anyone’s guess. Speaking for myself, I am less curious as to the “why” behind this as the “how”.
Miss Heather
Greenpoint Photos du Jour: Better Homes & Garbage, Part II
Filed under: 11222, Bum Shit, Dung of the Day, Greenpoint, Greenpoint Brooklyn, Greenpoint Magic, Other Shit
(Or: India Street Revisited)
As I have written previously, the soon-to-be initiated India Street ferry service has some serious safety concerns to address. Foremost among these is the fact the block from which it will disembark is desolate and uninhabited.
Sort of. The first thing I noticed when I swung by this morning is only one solitary trailer remains. As you can see it has undergone some renovations. Namely, having the door removed and a cheerful blue blanket hung it its place.
We would appear to have two inhabitants.
Once again the presence of reading material was noted. It appears that we have a baseball fan on our hands. I wonder if he/she is a Mets or Yankees fan?
Yours truly was really impressed with the array of healthy foodstuffs. Milk, fruit juice, apples, peanut butter and canned fruit were observed. And last— but hardly least— let’s inspect the crapper!
This pied-a-terre is appointed with (to bastardize Black Adder):
…the latest in fresh air orifices combined with asphalt.
In other words: you shit on the street.
Miss Heather
From The New York Shitty Inbox: Skid Row
Filed under: 11222, Bum Shit, Dung of the Day, Greenpoint, Greenpoint Brooklyn, Greenpoint Magic, Other Shit
Of this delightful item (which is located on a snow bank at Clay Street and Manhattan Avenue) Alicia writes:
Seriously G-point?!
Miss Heather
Spotted Waiting For The B62: (Priceless)
Filed under: 10014, 11222, Bum Shit, Crosstown Local, Culture War, Dung of the Day, Greenpoint, Greenpoint Brooklyn, Greenpoint Magic, Manhattan, New York City, Other Shit, Subway
Contrary to what some might think yours truly exercises some semblance of ethics when photographing people on the street. It is neither my purpose nor my desire to laugh at people. Which brings me to this.
I cannot tell a lie: I had a lot of trouble suppressing a chuckle.
But given the rather, um, copious notices I spied when exiting the Crosstown Local at India Street this afternoon can you blame a man (or woman) for being dazed and confused— or dare I say: possibly a wee bit pissed off— by our mass transit system? This is the real Greenpoint, folks— and don’t you forget it!
Fortunately there are intrepid souls who see fit— quite literally— to cut the crap.
CASE IN POINT: the Spring Street station in SoHo.*
Miss Heather
*Yes, that is a pile of human feces peeking out from under this flier-cum-asswipe.
Crosstown Local Photos Du Jour: To The Dude Peeing On The Metrocard Machine This Morning
Filed under: 11222, Bum Shit, Crosstown Local, Dung of the Day, Greenpoint, Greenpoint Brooklyn, Greenpoint Magic
You must have been pretty drunk since you did not seem to notice me. To refresh your memory: I was the woman in the furry jacket waiting to use the Metrocard machine for its intended purpose.
Damn.
Miss Heather
Dung Of The Day: Special Bloomblight Edition
Filed under: 11222, Bloomblight, Bum Shit, Dung of the Day, Greenpoint, Greenpoint Brooklyn, Greenpoint Magic, Other Shit
You can always leave it to 32 India Street to keep things on our gold coast, um, interesting.
Miss Heather
New York Shitty Day Ender: Theatre In A Van
Filed under: 11211, Bum Shit, Culture War, Dog Shit, Dung of the Day, Other Shit, Williamsburg, Williamsburg Brooklyn
Taken September 10, 2010.
Miss Heather
From The New York Shitty Inbox: Shit & Awe
L writes:
Hello Miss Heather,
I was taking a stroll on the sidewalk along McCarren Park (east side of bedford) when I looked up and saw something I’d never thought I’d see: an older man, bent down, ass facing me, covered in *crap* It was a full view of asshole and bits. Normally, I take shots of everything but I was too horrified/stunned/ grossed out to do anything but cross the street and watch to make sure he wasn’t doing anything to harm anyone.
This was at 3:30 on Sunday, by the fence.. not too far from the bathrooms. He did not seem homeless, but who knows. He proceeded to pull up his trousers and seemed to head over to the bathroom. Was I the only one to see this? I generally see homeless/drunk people in this north area of the park. Does no one patrol? Stephanie Thayer? Anyone?
Definitely makes me think twice about where I sit, if I will at all, in McCarren or any park with grass now.
It’s disgusting but I wanted to pass this along to the unofficial Mayor of Greenpoint and all things shitty. Definitely a danger to people who use the park in these summer months.Horrifying.
I honestly don’t know what to say— other than someone has created a Flickr photo set documenting this kind of thing at our beloved McCarren Park. You can check it out by clicking here. Enjoy!
Miss Heather
NYS Flickr Pool
