New York Shitty Photos Du Jour: Special “Stick or Carrot” Edition

Mosco Street, 10013

Mosco Street 600

Courtlandt Alley, 10013

WARNING 600

Touche 600

Same zip code, (more or less) same premise: no dumping. As you can see, gentle readers, asking nicely seems to work better than signage and surveillance.  On an eerily related note I am proud to share my two most recently completed snow globes. Meet “Detente” versions two and three!

detenteshisandhers

In progress. Surveillance cameras + exhibitionists = a match made in heaven.  The yellow sign reads “SMILE, You’re looking great!”

dentente2600

detente3600

Given what I saw— and smelled*— on Courtlandt Alley today:

  1. Credence is given to the argument that surveillance cameras do not make people more safe. They are not a deterrent against crime and/or other activities generally frowned upon by “polite society”. All they do is record it. They’re only as good as the person watching them. I can only imagine what the person “manning” the CCTV on Courtlandt saw.
  2. Methinks “Detente” version six needs to happen. (Yes, I already have two more versions on “the list”.)

Anyone interested in acquiring any of these objets de arte (once again) can/should shoot me an email at missheather (at) thatgreenpointblog (dot) com. Be sure to note which one piques your interest. Happy Friday!

*Crowd-sourced “cologne”.

New York Shitty Street Art Du Jour: The Word On The Street

I am taking the glass half-full approach to this one: at least they have managed to place a fence around these premises. This is a very welcome development compared to what I saw back in January. Well done, Mr. Richard!

Closing on the subject (of Paul Richard), as luck (?) would have it I stumbled upon another piece of his handiwork on the Northside. It had been, how shall we say, “modified”. Whether or not this was done willfully and deliberately has been the subject of debate at Chez Shitty this evening. I contend it was not. The Mister contends that while the person responsible (and I can assure you this was the handiwork of a human being) may not have “planned” to do this, he/she did take placement under consideration. He opined— and I quote:

This was a crime of opportunity.

WARNING/CAVEAT:

  1. This is not for those with weak stomachs.
  2. Once you this is seen, it cannot be unseen.

Without further ado, here it is…

Those of you who wish to see this in person go to North 11th Street. It is on the sidewalk across the street from “The Whiskey” (on the premises of the Brooklyn Brewery, if my memory serves me correctly). I suppose it goes without saying: watch where you walk!

Dung Of The Day: Special 34th City Council District Edition

August 29, 2013 ·
Filed under: 11206, 11237, Bushwick, Bushwick Brooklyn, Dung of the Day, Other Shit, Wow 

(Or: God Bless the Internet)

That’s right folks, you read the title of this post correctly: “Dung of the Day”. Those of you who have followed New York Shitty for some time are undoubtedly aware that the initial premise of this site was documenting the rather pervasive problem with poop in my community. Over the years I have gone in a different direction. There are two reasons for this:

  1. As I became more attuned to the issues facing Greenpoint (and north Brooklyn, for that matter) and noticed they were not getting attention via the “mainstream media” I decided that this blog would be an excellent means raising awareness about them.
  2. I have seen so much magnificent merde— be it human, canine or otherwise— that quite frankly I have become acclimatized to it. I have become a shit snob.

Well, today while walking around Bushwick that changed.

To preface: today I met up with a buddy of mine who resides in the 34th City Council District. This person has been generous enough to save and share the manifold number of Vito Lopez campaign material which has found its way to his/her mailbox. This, of course, includes the infamous example of Team Gropez’s rather interesting use of Photoshop. The “plan” was to take a tour of the 34th and its Industrial Business Zone. Yours truly played “tour guide”. Granted, I do not actually reside in the 34th— but neither does Mr. Lopez for that matter and I digress.

One part of our peregrinations was Melrose Street. There we saw an affordable housing project being built at the behest of the Ridgewood Bushwick Senior Citizens Council. Just a Snapple bottle’s toss away we found something so extraordinary it merited a mention on this blog. Be afraid. Be very afraid.

MelroseStreet

 

This is one of two homeless encampments to be found on said street. As you can see, something has gone very wrong.

30inchesofshit

 

Unfortunately, I did not have the presence of mind to tote along a tape measure. Thus, I had to repurpose a locally-sourced, gently used bottle of Snapple so as to establish a sense of scale. Regardless, this is rather impressive once one gets past the revulsion/”upchuck” factor. I can assure you, gentle readers, I came to the estimate of 30″ in a very deliberate— if not exactly scientific— fashion. More specifically: when I arrived back at Chez Shitty I ran a Google search for “How tall is a bottle of Snapple?” The following speaks for itself.

YahooAnswers

 

But let’s get back to the conclusion on this tale of turdage. My travelling companion and I continued our walk down Melrose. As we did we noticed a number of Maritza Davila posters. That’s when my friend noted:

Too bad you didn’t take that Lopez mailer with you.

My reply was as follows:

Oh, but I did!

gropezwithexplosiveshit

“Ouch” indeed…

New York Shitty Pay Phones Du Jour: Orchard Street Selections

orchard1

detail

orchard2

asswipe

awholelottapoop

 

Taken May 2, 2013.

The Word On The Street: Oh Sh*t!

ohshit

manties

As spotted today on North 8th Street. Note the men’s dress shirt which has been repurposed as toilet paper. Yes sir: north Brooklyn is looking more and more like the East Village/Lower East Side every day!

From The New York Shitty Inbox: Deck The Stalls

Jay, who captured the above bit of nastiness today December 15th, writes:

Wishing you a Shitty Christmas courtesy of NY Parks and the men’s restroom at McGolrick Park.

New York Shitty Photos Du Jour: Caption This

I see a number of fascinating things when I am out and about. This is especially true of the manifold number of demolition/construction sites in my fair burgh. It has been yours truly’s observation that sidewalk sheds seem to be an invitation for some engage in activities he/she would otherwise refrain from had not the additional privacy been provided.

CASE IN POINT: What I happened upon on North 7th Street today.

A black leather briefcase with some valued added in the way of a super-sized bottle of Ketel One vodka and…

a heaping helping of (what appears to be) human feces. I have long hoped some day during my peregrinations I’d stumble upon a briefcase full of cash. Clearly the universe had something decidedly different in mind. Nonetheless, wishing to share the joy, I forwarded this choice find to Pa Heather. I did so in the hope he would give it a snappy title. I wrote (in an email entitled “I saw something interesting on my walk today”:

A briefcase with some “value added” in the way of human feces. Repulsive and yet hilarious. It smelled worse than it looks. Care to take a stab at captioning this? I’m drawing a blank…

Sure enough, I got a response:

You have an eye for shit.

To wit I replied:

I don’t look for the shit, the shit looks for me…

While this opportunity for father/daughter bonding is precious (and it is— Pa Heather knows his shit), it still does not solve my craptastic caption conundrum.

Care to take a stab at it, gentle readers?

From The New York Shitty Inbox, Part II: McGolrick Park, Worse Than Ever?

In an email addressed to Assemblyman Joseph Lentol’s office, the 94th Precinct’s Community Affairs Office, Brooklyn Parks Commissioner (Kevin Jeffrey), Community Board 1’s Parks Supervisor/Open Space Alliance North Brooklyn’s Executive Director (Stephanie Thayer); City Councilman Steve Levin’s office and 50th Assembly District Democratic Leader (Lincoln Restler), among others a lady named Holly writes today, July 2nd, 2012:

I am writing this as a follow-up to the December 9, 2011 meeting concerning conditions at McGolrick Park.  While it was said that a subsequent meeting would be held in April 2012 to readdress the issues presented, that of course never happened.  And now seven months later, McGolrick Park is in worse shape than ever.

I will try to keep this letter as brief as possible, because I am very tired. . . tired of constantly volunteering and fundraising for a park that is continually destroyed, tired of continually pointing out problems that need to be addressed only to have those concerns fall on deaf ears, tired of being forsaken by the Parks Department and local politicians (with the exception of Lincoln Restler) who obviously do not care about the well-being of the park itself and the community that surrounds it.

I am attaching pictures I took today of the degenerating conditions of the park, and they should speak for themselves, but I would like to make the following important points:

1) The middle entrance on Monitor Street between Nassau Ave. and Driggs Ave. has become a residence for local drunkards.  The area reeks of urine and alcohol and there are copious amounts of garbage and liquor bottles strewn about the area.  They have literally lived in that unmaintained, isolated “meadow” for the past two weeks.  It is disgusting and absolutely unacceptable. (Photos attached. I have taken the liberty of assembling them into a slide show which graces the beginning of this post. — Ed. Note.)

2) The benches at the center of the park have been destroyed for probably the tenth time since the December meeting.  Graffiti is rampant. The Belgium stone surrounding the Monitor statue has been vandalized. The bulletin board has been broken – again.  Garbage is openly thrown around the center of the park by the group of destructive and abusive teenagers that continue to haunt the center of the park.  (Photos attached.)

3) There are trip hazards throughout the park.  My group, The McGolrick Park Schools Alliance, donated and laid 1 ton of new top soil in the spring, filling in several of the larger trip hazards, but many remain.  The other day my 2 ½ year old son was running through one of the lawns and suddenly fell directly on his nose.  It was a large hole obscured by grass that made him fall.

4) Many people of this community blame the seasonal workers for the poor maintenance of the park.  It is true that you can often see these workers sitting in the shack or on the benches.  But let me be clear that the park workers are NOT to blame.  If they are not working to their full potential then it is only because they are not receiving sufficient supervision and guidance.  Moreover, after volunteering with some of these workers I was appalled to discover that they don’t have one functioning pincer and no work gloves – they have to buy their own safety supplies, and that is a travesty.  So I gave them a bag of work gloves which is apparently more than their employer is willing to do.  Also, I want you to be aware that these workers are verbally abused by aggressive teens and drunks on an almost daily basis.  These workers, who literally have to clean the shit of the park, are treated as such, and they are given no support or power to improve their working conditions/our park.  There should be a protocol put in place whereby workers are given the ability to call for police support at even the inkling of being threatened, or as soon as they see vagrants or vandals.

5) As has been true for years, the bathrooms of McGolrick Park are absolutely disgusting.  Parents resort to allowing their children to relieve themselves on the perimeters of the playground rather than risk exposing their kids to the horrible bathroom conditions.  This of course presents another set of health and safety issues.  Moreover, urine and feces from resident drunks can still be found/smelled throughout the park.

6) The center pavilion is in absolute disrepair.  Bird nests have destroyed the woodwork and so much graffiti has been haphazardly painted over that it looks atrocious.

7) I feel it should be known that following the December 9 meeting, and announcing that I would be starting a community group for McGolrick Park, I received a call from park officials “encouraging” me to work with The Friends of McGolrick instead of starting my own group (which would target children and families of our local schools).  In addition, I was told that any police reports concerning the park should be left to Morgan Pehme (Mr. Pehme is the head of the Friends of McGolrick Park Group— Ed. Note) to make.  So essentially, I was being asked to give up my fundamental rights as a citizen to accommodate the needs of others.  Thankfully, I stuck to my guns and refused to work with “The Friends” as I clearly knew from the start that the group was impotent.  To my knowledge they have not held one clean-up or community event within the park, and what is more infuriating is that they were handed $2500 from Exxon Mobil that has not been used or accounted for.  This is money that should have been used for the benefit of our park and community and no one knows where it has gone.

This will be the last time I will reach out to those civil servants who are responsible for maintaining the health, safety, and beauty of our local park.  I no longer wish to see my hard work and energy go down the drain because the people in charge just don’t care.  However, if you are a community member reading this letter and are as outraged as I am, please forward this to others, and contact those officials that this email is addressed to.  Tell them that you agree with these words – maybe then, someone will be held accountable and our park and neighborhood can change (back) for the better.

Holly

Here’s the deal, folks: Holly is not the only concerned citizen who is disgusted with the deteriorating state of this park. It was brought to my attention after last week’s Public Safety Committee meeting by a life-long Greenpoint resident and yet another parks patron has seen fit to do some documentation of her own. Her focus was on public defecation. Without further ado, here are her findings.

I honestly do not know what I can say that I have not said many times before— but I will do so (again) anyway. Until we as citizens, our civil servants and elected officials take up the matter of the homeless (and addiction) problem here honestly and realistically, I do not see anything changing. I was both saddened and disgusted when I happened upon a man who was clearly in need of medical help today in plain view of the McCarren Park Field House and the recently (re)opened pool. The latter of which, not surprisingly, has been receiving a great deal of police attention the last two days.

UPDATE, 6:51 p.m.: There appears to have been another incident at the McCarren Park Pool. Click here for Gothamist’s take.

UPDATE, 7:47 p.m.: Holly gets a response— and responds!

Bushwick Photo du Jour: Simply Irresistible

From Melrose Street.

Spotted On India Street: A Merde Mystery

A lady we’ll call “C” writes:

I’m now naming India St between Franklin/West “poop alley”….someone either is pooping, has a huge dog, or cow on that street…theres like 50 loads.

Does anyone amongst you, gentle readers, know who— or perhaps more appropriately what— is responsible for this? I’m intrigued.

UPDATE, November 8, 2011: A chap we’ll call “T” writes:

Last year I stumbled upon a gigantic mega turd even bigger than that on Huron and West. I watched its progress every morning for 12 months. IT IS STILL THERE…albeit diminished. I’d be more than happy to send you a picture of its current state so that you know what you can look forward to

All I can say is… WOW.