The Word On The Street: Don’t Worry

Dont Worry nys

Taken October 15, 2014.

New York Shitty Photo Du Jour: Sign Of The Times

October 15, 2014 ·
Filed under: 11206, East Williamsburg, East Williamsburg Brooklyn, Street Art 

Sign of the times nys

Taken October 15, 2014.

From The New York Shitty Photo Pool: Don’t Shoot

Taken by Scoboco.

Urban Fur: Stray Cat Strut

(sort of)

Feral and fed on Judge Street nys

A fulsome feral fella from Judge Street.

Afternoon Nap nys

A pampered pussy just down the block.

Garfield in bondage nys

Garfield in bondage via a truck grill a little further down. Maujer Street, methinks.

Cat Hotel Meserole Street nys

Naturally I had to check in on my favorite feral cat Callie. So I headed east on Meserole Street. Therein I discovered the “Cat Hotel”!

SGI nys

Alas, neither she nor her “friend” Peter were to be found. However, her on-again/off-again companion from across the street was holding court.

One handsome tuxedo nys

He’s one handsome— and thankfully ear-tipped— fellow.

Smudgehead nys

And last, but hardly least, this lass.

Working Class Cat nys

Tunny reveal nys

Meserole Street Cat nys

She put on quite a show for yours truly— and in return got ample rubbins!

Meserole Street Cat 2 nys

The Word On The Street, Part II: Morgan Avenue

Morgan Avenue nys

Taken September 18, 2014.

Urban Artifact: Wish Fulfillment!

CBS screencapSo over the last week we have had:

1. Time Warner employee sex at the Newtown Creek Nature Walk.*

2. Some blue chip public urination at Graham Avenue’s B43 bus stop thrown in for good measure

3. Indecent exposure (as seen at left) on our very Crosstown Local.

Yes, gentle readers, I’d say things are hoppin’.  So much so I lament not seeing my share of the action. Obviously I have been not at the wrong place at the right time. I shared my disappointment with my public urination tipster. To wit, he/she replied:

Awwww Heather. I just know there’s an exposed penis out there for you too. And I bet when you see it, it’ll be the longest one of all. :)

Today it finally happened— in a manner of speaking. Thankfully it did not involve lewd public acts and I actually had the choice of looking— or not. Read on!

371 Stagg Street nys

Ever had the feeling you’re being watched? Today while strolling along Stagg Street I did.

Stagg Street Art Object nys

Sure enough I was right. So help me, but I can swear this fellow was beckoning me to come closer.

Big Head nys

So I did.

Pitching a tent nys

As you can see my new friend is, to use vulgar parlance, “pitching a tent”. Let’s go in!

Little Head nys

What a piece of work is a man! How noble in reason, how infinite in faculty! In form and moving how express and admirable! In action how like an Angel! in apprehension HOW LIKE A GOD!

— William Shakespeare, emphasis mine— Ed. Note.

I can only imagine what the provenance of this item is. A remnant of some hitherto unknown bacchanalian Industrial Business Zone ritual, perhaps?

Heres looking at you kid nys

Here’s looking at you, kid…

Closing on a somewhat related note, your’s truly discovered and acquired a most fascinating product recently. I present without further ado, Peni Fresh!

The FRESHMAKER nys

soapActually I acquired a few bars— much to the amusement of the staff at said deli/grocery. One was a birthday present (said birthday boy was present), the others will be stocking stuffers. The holiday season will be upon us soon enough and let’s face facts: nothing says “Good will toward your fellow man” quite like telling them, however subtly, that they need to wash their tackle. I have yet to discern exactly what is meant by “TUTTI-FRUITTI” flavor. Methinks I’ll leave that task to Ralphie. Those of you who want to upgrade your mere dingus to a dicksicle, methinks I have found the product to make it happen. Cheers!

Peni Fresh: the Freshmaker!

*surveillance footage of which was requested by and is apparently making the rounds through the Newtown Creek Monitoring Committee!

From The New York Shitty Photo Pool: The Word On The Street

Taken by Scoboco.

From The New York Shitty Inbox: Live From The B43 Bus Stop

September 12, 2014 ·
Filed under: 11211, East Williamsburg, East Williamsburg Brooklyn 

An anonymous tipster writes:

Hi Heather!

While waiting for the 43 at Graham & Grand, I noticed a man seemingly passed out across the street. And I called 911. While waiting for help, I noticed the guy coming to. Well, pictures speak louder than words

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Behold, the staredown of shame.

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Damn.

For those of you who are not in the know on top of this Polaroid moment a pair of Time Warner employees— in uniform— were spied engaging in oral sex on the premises of our very own Nature Walk. NOTE: there is a rather large Time Warner facility located next door to this park. I guess the company bathroom simply does not have the same je nais sais quoi. In any case, I suppose the upshot is some are, in fact, enjoying our “open spaces”. Albeit in a rather unconventional matter.

Sorry folks, no photos— at least not yet. What this couple may not be aware of (or perhaps they simply do not care) is there are surveillance cameras on the premises. This incident has been brought to the attention of the Newtown Creek Monitoring Committee, to much amusement I’ll add. “NCMC” has, in turn, placed a request for said footage.* We’ll see. In any case those of you who seek porn should not pay a premium on cable, simply head over to the Nature Walk!

Naturally I had to make my tipster aware of this. To wit, he/she replied.

Awwww Heather. I just know there’s an exposed penis out there for you too. And I bet when you see it, it’ll be the longest one of all. :)

Awww. Thank you!

*In addition, removing the “no dogs” rules has been brought to the table. Dog owners should be pleased about this as there is no dog run hereabouts. Just don’t let Fido play in the creek, okay?

Quicklink: DNA.info

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I damned near shot beer out of my nose when I read this corker. I do not think I need to explain why: the first line of this tome pretty much says it all. Nonetheless, I do feel compelled to reiterate the “Schwick” is actually not located in Bushwick. It is in East Williamsburg. It would appear DNA.info is not the only one who has has made note of this.

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Uh oh.

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OUCH!

But of course we all know the “Bushwick” brand is much edgier— and by “edgier” I mean lucrative. So they’re gonna roll with it. Geography be damned! Hell, if even Vogue has jumped on the Bushwick bandwagon you know someone fearful of Boca Raton will make the journey to north Brooklyn’s “hinterlands”. What’s more, they’ll consider themselves “brave” for having had the experience.

The Shwick: It’s Bushwick, curated, so you do not have to deal with people outside your age group, race or class!

You know, the very folks who made this community worth visiting in the first place. Who wants that?

 

Quicklink: A Story To Tell

screencapThis tome was brought to my attention by a fellow named Richard. Richard is a resident of Lawrence, Kansas. This Letter to the Powers That Be, not surprisingly, pertains to matters in Lawrence, Kansas. However, while reading this tome more than one community hereabouts— and the non/not-for-profit organizations (which purport to act as a “voice”/”advocate” for the aforementioned communities) came to mind.  I do not think I need to list/name the previous here, gentle readers. We know them.*

Follows is an excerpt from this essay so as the pique your interest:

…I have been long in forming my opinion of the Cultural Arts District and the 9th Street Corridor.  When the pros and cons of the issue are laid across a scale, I find myself on the side of favor.  I am in support of the Cultural Arts District and 9th Street Corridor in East Lawrence.  I am excited at the prospect of renewal and repair that the Cultural District designation dollars can bring.  I want new sidewalks and safer lighting and renovated limestone curbs and bricks in my streets.  I want the businesses in my neighborhood to thrive and prosper and have the funds to reinvest in my community.  I want an economic base that can support an East Lawrence or Downtown grocery store. I want my daughters to grow up in a vibrant, thriving neighborhood that supports the arts and creativity.  I am personally invested in positive outcomes for the Cultural Arts District. 

And yet…

There remains a sense of unease when I think about what will happen as the Cultural Arts District and 9th Street Corridor develop.  I cannot shake the feeling of anxiety, of foreboding, of “ick” in my belly and bad smell wrinkle in my nose.  And this time, it isn’t a downdraft from the wastewater treatment plant (Emphasis mine— Ed. Note) or the river.  It’s the aftertaste of cultural co-option.  But what does that mean, you say?  I can’t explain it to you without the help of Alice Walker.  Here’s where the story comes in… 

You can— no, make that should— read this essay in its entirety by clicking here. Pass it along. Who knows? Maybe it’ll inspire someone (else) in our fair burgh/city to speak up?

*Hence why I found this excerpt of Adam “GWAPP Advisory Board”  Perlmutter’s biography so fascinating:

Adam is a currently lawyer for Develop Don’t Destroy Brooklyn opposing the Atlantic Yards project …

Speaking as a resident of Greenpoint for fourteen years now who knows quite a few bloggers— bloggers who have taken a keen interest in Atlantic Yards, no less— I have not once heard his name mentioned. What’s more, someone closely connected with DDDB confirmed my suspicions:

He isn’t in the employ and never was.  He volunteered with DDDB  about 9 years ago and helped them find their great lawyer Matt Brinckerhoff  – but he’s not done anything with them for about 7 years.

Hmm…

“About” seven years ago Mr. Perlumutter signed off on the by-laws of Open Space Alliance North Brooklyn.

Note the “Treasurer”. It is none other than Steve “Brooklyn Beer/I loves me some Atlantic Yards” Hindy himself.

Double hmm…