The Word On The Street, Part II: Thames Street

This novel approach to the combating the littering problem is downright ingenious. I’d even go so far as to say given the location (“East Williamsburg”) it might actually work. Clean sidewalks = free drugs for the masses!

This Is Just Plain Awesome…

shittitpaintingNYS

My buddy and all-around environmental BADASS Laura has taken up painting recently. Although her creations are all quite lovely and whimsical, this one (for obvious reasons)  is a stand-out. It simply had to be shared. About its creation she writes:

A walk to the Digester Eggs followed with some 60′s psychedelic music, incense and candles, topped with some community issues translates into this for me…

I give this piece two enthusiastic New York Shitty thumbs up!

New York Shitty Photo Du Jour: Eyes On The Street

Oscar_the_Grouch_2It would appear that someone found the faux grass fencing gracing “Williamsburg Park” to resemble a beloved Sesame Street character. Well played, anonymous hooligan!

(Taken February 10, 2014.)

New York Shitty Photo Du Jour: Franklin Street

Nic Cage Says

Yeah, that ought to do the trick…

New York Shitty Photo Du Jour: New York Post

NYPostNYS

Yes Sir: there are few things scarier than the New York Post. Well done!

(From Bleecker Street.)

The Word On The Street: Head’s Up!

bleeckerstreet

Taken October 2, 2013.

New York Shitty Photos Du Jour: The Manhattan Avenue Wienerfest, Day Two

yesterday

 

As some of you might recall, yesterday I encountered the above installation while running a few errands. What you may not know is who is responsible for this chicanery. His name is Josef, and he is quite awesome. Which brings me to today…

installation1

 

He has added quite a bit of new material. Including:

umbrella

 

These two missives. He elaborated on the one to the right. It reads:

Everywhere. Everyday. We’re with you.

tdbank

 

This was gleaned from an advertisement for TD Bank. He explained to me that that DOMA being overturned made him quite happy because:

I do not care who you love— or who loves who.

Right on— but let’s continue.

painting

Here’s a rather lovely mirror graced by one of Josef’s paintings. He employed dried parsley, poppy seeds and mustard seeds so as to give it some “texture”.

portrait

 

This is portrait of himself “back in the day” with some blue paint thrown in for good measure.

NOKIELBASA

 

And a few slices of bread and a paint brush now accompany the kiwi fruit.

Where’s the kielbasa?

I inquired. His answer was somewhat hard to decipher. But here it goes:

  1. Ne noted it was fascinating how the sun seemed to cook it. I countered that given how hot it is, this is not surprising.
  2. Someone stole it. (To eat? Who knows.)
  3. Someone posted a picture of it on the Internet.

Was it you?

He added. I answered to the affirmative. He went on the explain that he could not afford kielbasa today, so slices of bread will have to do. I mulled this development over. ”Fuck it”, I thought to myself. “I may not be a Medici or a Guggenheim but I am going to do my part to patronize a local artist”.

Here’s five dollars. Go get some kielbasa and some lunch.

And went on my way.

When I came back home I stopped to see if Josef kept his word. Well, the following speaks for itself…

kielbasarestored

 

Alas he was not present. (I wanted to request he place a sign next to the meat stick stating “Weiner For Mayor”). However you can see both bread and kielbasa were procured. The latter has been hung (pun completely intended) for everyone’s edification.

pricetagandcards

What’s more, Josef left the price tag of his purchase (so as to ensure my donation was spent on sausage) AND he left business cards for the establishment from which he procured said meaty goodness: W-Nassau Meat Market. This makes for one of the most inspired low budget advertising campaigns in my humble opinion. Is it ideologically consistent for a vegetarian to enable this hooliganism? No, probably not. But it is awesome nonetheless. Viva Greenpoint!

A Review Of Public Pay Phones

The previous content undoubtedly makes it clear that today I whiled away my time outside the Garden Spot. We have a friend visiting from out of town so we’re pulling out all the stops. Or more accurately: we’re stopping constantly. So as to feed my public pay phone fixation. The way I see it, these fixtures— or more accurately: what is to be found in them— are a reflection of the communities into which they are placed. These “urban artifacts”, however revolting they may be— and they frequently are— tickle my inner anthropologist’s fancy. Without further ado, here we go!

Sixth Avenue & 28 Street, Chelsea

6aveand28street

This is located around the corner from Jeff Boss’s manifold number of missives (which I featured previously). There is a lot going on here, so let’s go in for a closer look!

yellowpants

One pair of neon yellow pants.

Soiled

Soiled.

petals

Rose petals grace the concrete.

roses

Which brings me to the right-hand stall. We have what once was a bouquet and this.

You are an asshole

No argument here. Upon closer inspection I discerned that both “stalls” bore this missive.

980 Sixth Avenue, “Fashion District”

980sixthave

This one is gold— in ways I could not begin to fathom.

enemyinplainsight

Initially, I thought the above-depicted flyer was related to this incitement. Nope.

PORNSTARSWELCOME

I have taken the liberty of highlighting my favorite passages.

notakers

I suppose it is not surprising he has not gotten any “takers”. Has not this fellow ever heard of Craigslist? It would save him a lot of money on fliers (which, in turn could be used to pay for entertaining). So it goes…

LADIES

Here’s what I found placed deftly atop of the receiver. NEEEXT!

40th Street, Bryant Park

spoonphone

Not much to see here save a misshapen spoon. Now let’s proceed to the Upper East Side…

Second Avenue & East 68 Street

pissphone

Public pay phones in New York City are often pressed into service as privies. This is hardly news. However, the elegance of what happened here is truly noteworthy. So much so I outlined it to my travelling companions like the tour guide I most assuredly am.

  1. This individual— a man— despite probably being in an inebriated state utilized the features of this phone in a rather clever way. He first placed the cup between the rails. 
  2. He peed into the cup. That will make it easier for whoever is charged with removing it.

whoops

For the most part. Still this gets an “E” for effort. Closing on a poignant  note…

59th Street & Third Avenue, “Midtown”

elizabethgardner

You can learn what Elizabeth Gardner did by clicking here. She was a lot more than a pretty face…

Urban Artifact, Part II: Bathing Beauties

twobarbies

barbie1

sideview

another view

glasses

I encountered the above tableau on Huron Street while taking Ma and Pa Heather out to dinner this evening. They depart our fair city tomorrow, thus I was very pleased that they got to behold some bona fide Garden Spot magic before their departure. Methinks they were not as enamored of my find as I was. So much for “taste”. Anyway, the fellows sitting nearby (on stools, milk crates, etc.— those who reside on or near Manhattan Avenue between Huron and India will know exactly about whom I write) told me I was the sixth person they had seen photograph this exquisite piece of Greenpoint glory. No surprise there…

The Word On The Street, Part I: Special Sunday Morning Edition

godbless

From Huron Street.