A New York Shitty Public Service Announcement

April 18, 2014 ·
Filed under: 11222, Greenpoint, Greenpoint Brooklyn, Greenpoint Magic 

Attention all north ‘Point motorists! Please pay attention to this post and please circulate it to your brethren.

See the above parking space? DO NOT park there. Sure, it may appear to be a legal place to park— the white line cordoning it off would certainly indicate as much— but it is not. For the last week I have witnessed our local meter maids ticketing cars in this space with extreme prejudice. I have seen motorists protest that this space is legal, they paid the meter, etc. All to no avail. Inasmuch as I can understand (this is not exactly my area of expertise), the park sign was moved one space to the north. Hence rendering this space (white line or otherwise) into an ex-parking space. Spare yourself a parking ticket and a lot of aggravation and do not park here.

(a citizen explains this nugget of absurdity to a dismayed motorist)

That is all…

UPDATE, 12:02: our beleaguered motorist has left and sure enough another fellow has fallen into the trap!

The Word On The Street: Pulaski Bridge Edition

Taken April 14, 2014.

From The New York Shitty Inbox: Of Blood & Cat Litter On Green Street

April 14, 2014 ·
Filed under: 11222, Greenpoint, Greenpoint Brooklyn, Greenpoint Magic, Wow, WTF 

A fellow I will call “M” writes (to our City Councilman and a 94th Precinct Community Affairs Officer as well as yours truly) writes:

Hi Scott (I think he means Steve— Ed Note),

I’m a fellow neighbor in Greenpoint and saw the aftermath of a disturbing incident on Franklin at Green St. (in front of T.B.D.) yesterday morning around 7:00am. A young male was face down in a pool of blood and the 3 people on the scene were standing over the body as if there was no hope for the man. I haven’t been able to stop thinking about it and haven’t been able to find out if the victim is okay. I’m writing to see if you have any insight to the incident as it happened blocks from my home. Appreciate any info you can share.

All the best…

This afternoon I took a stroll to the corner of Green Street and Franklin Street. Sure enough, there was blood.

And a lot of cat litter.

Over the years (and NYS will be eight years old soon— I have ceased to keep track anymore) I have received a number of inquiries of the variety “M” has tendered. All are troubling. However, “M” did the right thing: he/she not only took up the matter withthe 94th Precinct’s Community Affairs Office (concerns such as this is why they’re there!) but also our City Councilman*. This is how you do it, north Broklynites!

To be continued…?

*Who also happens to have a tumblr page. Check it out!

Urban Fur: Greenpoint Grocery & Deli

No one present seemed to know what this lass’s name is*— but as you can see this lovely calico is keeping a very vigilant watch over the Polish Gazette!

*Thus I am giving her the moniker “Szef”. That is “boss” in Polish!

New York Shitty Video/Photos Du Jour: Feeling Like Easter Edition

Wythe Avenue, 11211

Noble Street, 11222

57 Franklin Street, 11222

Without argument the lovely (and incredibly sweet) lady who resides at 57 Franklin can be trusted to roll out the most wonderful decorations for any occasion. But when Easter comes a calling she she goes over the top— in the biggest, brightest, and most wonderful way. Photos and video do not do it justice. Get down there and see it for yourself!

Greenpoint Fashion Watch: Special B62 Bus Edition

Now that spring has arrived there is many a fashion statement being made in the 11222. However, none of them are on par with this lovely young lady. What’s not to like here, I ask? The leopard print pants? The zebra print socks? Her companion (a stuffed kitty cat)? The pink apparel? All the previous are awesome. However, when she donned her mother’s sunglasses I finally had to say something.

Me: Excuse me, I hope I am not bothering you but I have to say I own pants just like what your daughter is wearing— and she looks a lot better wearing them than I do!
Mother: (laughs)

I asked for permission to take Olivia’s photo. Her mother gladly obliged. Olivia, on the other hand, didn’t see what the big deal was. I suspect (or at least hope) we’ll be seeing her gracing the cover of Vogue soon enough. I give this ensemble— and Olivia— two enthusiastic thumbs  paws up. Well done!

Spotted On India Street: Wanted

April 10, 2014 ·
Filed under: 11222, Greenpoint, Greenpoint Brooklyn, Greenpoint Magic, Wow, WTF 

It is shaping up to be a lively day in the Garden Spot. Anyone know if this is for real or some attempt at viral advertising? In any case here it is. Consider yourselves warned…

Greenpoint Photos Du Jour: One Day Later…

April 10, 2014 ·
Filed under: 11222, Gentrification, Greenpoint, Greenpoint Brooklyn, Greenpoint Magic, Wow, WTF 

April 9, 2014, 5:00 pm

April 10, 2014, 11:00 am

As you can see, someone has seen fit to divest 977 Manhattan Avenue of its sign. Steve, the owner of Goldscholle and Garfinkel (and therefore, if one wants to be a stickler, said sign is as well), was surprised by this. Not that he was the one who discovered this has come to pass: he was not. He opted to take today off from cleaning out the space. He heard about it from a Greenpoint citizen. Speaking for myself, I am not the least bit surprised. Let’s face facts: $3,000,000 $3,900,000* (or even a 6% commission thereof) is a pretty strong motivator to have such an item removed. Just sayin’.

Here’s what has been learned: per the fine folks at the Fresh Stop (which is located next door) two men arrived between 8:00 and 8:30 am with a ladder and commenced to take the sign down. These two men, per the folks from Fresh Step, were not familiar faces from the neighborhood (and trust me: if anyone is in a position to know, it is someone who operates a produce stand). In any case, I serious doubt these fellows wanted this item— at least in its “new” state— to grace their home. It is was really, seriously, UGLY. It was intended to be as such.

It’ll be interesting to see if their “handiwork” damaged the Bronx cable which provides power to the gate.  I suppose we’ll find out tomorrow…

UPDATE, 7:31 pm: it was intact when the Mister left for work this morning at 8:10 am.

*Per the listing at Miron Properties:

The building will be delivered vacant. Trust me. The “new” owner has done everything imaginable to make that happen.

Ms. Segal was the lady who not only asked Mr. Goldscholle to ask me to refrain from my “artistry”, but she later admitted to him (as he turned the keys over) that she had the sign removed. What’s a little petty larceny when there’s big bucks to be made, right?

 

The Word On The Street: PROGRE$$

Many of you are probably not aware of this but after a business calls it quits it is required by law to paint over its sign. Such is this fine city of ours: if you can imagine it, there’s probably a law on the books pertaining to it. As you can see, gentle readers, some artistic license has been taken here by yours truly. Yes, this is my handiwork. I volunteered to do this for Steve Goldscholle. He is a friend of mine. You are probably thinking this sullen utterance of revolt garnered a great deal of attention and curiosity (being as it is located on Manhattan Avenue and all). It most certainly did. Without argument the most amusing was an agent from the real estate office across the street (which has a listing for this building, the asking price is $3,000,000) running over and imploring Steve to make me stop. He replied that he was simply obeying the law.

This one’s for you, Steve.

New York Shitty Video & Photos Du Jour: On The Waterfront

Today since the weather is amenable, I decided to see what’s happening in far north ‘Point. After revisiting my favorite urban artifact (as seen above, she can be found on Commercial Street not terribly far from the kitty condoplex) I swung over to the Manhattan Avenue Kayak Launch.

First, I encountered this. I do not know when this happened. But it did.

I was stunned at how many boats were moored, illegally I’ll add, on the Queens side of the creek. I have it on excellent intelligence that yes, some of these boats are being pressed into service as residences. Residences on Newtown Creek. Please take a moment to mull this one over, gentle readers.

I do know when this happened: June 9th, 2013. As you can see it has yet to be repaired. No one seems to know if, much less when, this will come to pass. That seems to be the “Greenpoint Way” nowadays.

I was rather distressed to see this: a tree in a clear state of distress. Onward I walked.

No exploration of the utter absurdity that is the Greenpoint waterfront is complete without a visit to the North Brooklyn Boat Club.

Lest any of you are wondering what this is, it is the “Ed Shed”. The “NBBC” (via Open Space Alliance North Brooklyn— remember the latter handles money for the previous) secured a $25,000 grant for this educational facility. Yes, you just read me correctly. This structure will feature a “Sewer In A Suitcase”, material/date about water quality and various art projects for the edification of school groups.

I found this rather large vessel moored to the west curious— but not as curious as…

this one which is affixed to the premises of the Department of Transportation directly under the Pulaski Bridge. Is this legal? No, it probably is not. While we’re on the subject of questionable legality, 51 Ash Street (the premises of the North Brooklyn Boat Club and the new location of the Greenpoint Boathouse) appears to have an al fresco kitchen…

… replete with a barbecue pit…

and “kitchen sink”.

Note that this fixture does appear to be fully functional— and begs a number of questions:

  1. Where is the water coming from? (Educated guess: 49 Ash Street).
  2. Were the proper permits filed to do this? (Educated guess: No.)
  3. How is it that an “educational facility” located on private property (which is under lock and key) can receive a $25,000 grant (and assistance from our local parks conservancy group) and public park whose fence was seriously damaged ten months ago is seemingly not worthy of attention— much less the funding— required to conduct repairs and routine maintenance?

Anyone?