Boobification Photo du Jour: McGolrick Park

September 24, 2008 ·
Filed under: Area 51, Greenpoint Magic 

I smell varmint poontang, and the only good varmint poontang, is dead varmint poontang, I think.

Carl Spackler, Caddyshack.

Miss Heather

What’s Up On Oak?

September 23, 2008 ·
Filed under: Greenpoint Magic 

Today I finally bumped into a woman leaving this new storefront (whose address is 97 Oak Street) so I asked her what was going on. Apparently it is going to be a pastry shop. Think something along the lines of “Cheeks” down in Williamsburg, e.g.; no margarine, no corn syrup, etc.

No word as to when they’ll be open but I heard from someone down the street that they recently had a “tasting” and the reviews were very positive!

Miss Heather

To Whom It May Concern At 200 Franklin Street

September 23, 2008 ·
Filed under: Asshole, Greenpoint Magic 

If you are going to violate a Stop Work Order (and it is pretty clear that you are) could you be a little more discreet about it? I mean, having two cement trucks grinding away on the street is a little obvious. What’s more, your workers might want to take a little more care handling the stuff (READ: cement) coming out of said trucks. Blindly flinging a hose into a wheelbarrow might result in someone (READ: me) getting spritzed IN THE FACE, HAIR AND CHEST with cement.

See those little flecks on the above pair of sunglasses (which I happened to be wearing at the time of said incident)? That is your cement, dude. Had I not been wearing sunglasses that shit would have gotten in my eyes. Not only is this a woeful waste of construction material, but in some circles splattering cement in someone’s face would be considered RUDE.

Mind you the previous are all only suggestions. If you want to go for a third Stop Work Order (and I am increasingly of the impression you are), keep it up.

Now if you don’t mind, I’m off to take a bath and mull over calling 311.

Asshole.

Miss Heather

Boobification Photo du Jour: Nassau Avenue

September 23, 2008 ·
Filed under: Greenpoint Magic 

Remember ladies: if your package weighs more than 13 ounces be sure to take it to the post office for proper handling. This public service announcement was brought to you courtesy of the United States Postal Service* and New York Shitty.

Miss Heather

*Not really, obviously.

Boobification Photo du Jour: VIRIDIAN*

September 21, 2008 ·
Filed under: Greenpoint Magic 

From Green Street.

Miss Heather

*Where they were busy at work today (UNTIL 10:17 p.m.). These gents have got to be the hard(on)est working men I know. I s’pose that’s why they waste their time catcalling woman and buying porn at the junk shop on their lunch hour.

I do not want to suggest the hard working men at this development are merely horny. They are choosy. They prefer their porn on DVDs. (VHS is beneath them.) When I proffered “Blackeyed Pees” (on DVD) to one such chap it did not suit his taste. He left.

TONIGHT At Alphabeta

September 21, 2008 ·
Filed under: Crazy Cat Lady, Greenpoint Magic 

I was disheartened to learn this weekend that Greenpoint’s cutest Pit Bull (yes, they do exist— bad owners make bad dogs, they are not born that wayhear me, Mr. Vallone?), Bianca was badly injured. This evening Alphabeta will be hosting a benefit for her. The event kicks off at 6:00 p.m. Why not swing by and lend your support to this lovely lass?

Benefit for Bianca
September 21, 2008
6:00 p.m. – ???
Alphabeta
70 Greenpoint Avenue
Brooklyn, New York 11222

Miss Heather

P.S.: In other news thanks to the hard work of the Friends of McGolrick Park and District Dog the new small dog run at McGolrick Park is OPEN. Pack up your petite pooch and check it out today!


This Shirt ROCKS!

September 19, 2008 ·
Filed under: Greenpoint Magic 

Last night I saw a guy wearing this shirt on Franklin Street. I simply had to ask him about it. He said it was a gift but thought it was purchased on Manhattan Avenue somewhere near Nassau. Any Greenpointers out there know where? I simply MUST possess this item (for obvious reasons).

Miss Heather

Greenpoint Photo du Jour: Bike Love

September 19, 2008 ·
Filed under: Greenpoint Magic 

From North 15th Street.

On that note today’s offerings will in all likelihood be sporadic and lite. This is due to (more) pet-related joy on the home front. Last week it was abscessed anal glands, this week it is ringworm. Sulfur dips here we come!

Miss Heather

Studio B Rides Again!

September 17, 2008 ·
Filed under: Asshole, Greenpoint Magic 

Last weekend they had an event replete with busloads of clueless people being dumped on Banker Street and asking for directions.

Greenpointer #1:

We went through the same exercise last night. (name excised) finally went out and walked over, because of the one school bus whose alarm kept going off was killing his head.

it was a private afterparty to accompany some concert/event down in coney island. when we got home at 11:30 there were about 200 ppl waiting outside, the club wasn’t open. eventually when the half-dozen school buses showed up with their passengers, the place opened.

they were NOT stupid enough to open the second floor.

there was a driveby of two patrol cars when (excised) was over sniffing around – that was about the time that the security out front yelled at the bus drivers that they could not doublepark and block the road – and they left. also for what it’s worth, i was up until about 2:30 and heard someone yelling more than once that people could go in or go home but they couldn’t stand outside.

the biggest issue seemed to be that people honestly had no idea where they had been dropped off so they stopped on our corner repeatedly to discuss. (Excised) helped one or two of them along.

i don’t know what the legalities of renting it out for a private party are. i can’t imagine that C of O is different in that situation.

Greenpointer #2:

HOWEVER, this gentleman: http://www.myspace.com/djsammyj85 is performing this weekend (September 19, 2008) at an event at Studio B. The flier is in his MySpace profile. They are offering bottle service and buses from Jersey.

Per Denis Hamill Studio B is planning a real BLOW OUT September 27!

Those of you who want to read the rest of this article can do so by clicking here. Otherwise…

Studio B has no cabaret license. Per the DCA 259 Banker is a retail establishment. What’s more, they (being Studio B) cannot legally hold 2,000 people; the legal occupancy is 461 people. No more, no less. Best to do your research first, Mr. Hamill. Regurgitating press releases without proper research does not constitute journalism— no matter how right the end may be, what Studio B is doing is wrong.

I’m not against helping “Dr. Tom”. I simply think it should be done right: Advertising Studio B as a 2,000 seat venue is fraud (or very bad reporting). I live in Greenpoint. I operate a humble blog about my ‘nabe. You might have heard of it, Mr. Hamill— many journos like to use my site for “leads” without crediting it. New York Post, mostly.

I did my research, clearly you didn’t. You’re the professional journalist. Not me.

Shame on you.

Miss Heather

Williamspoint Photos du Jour: Gourmet Edition

September 17, 2008 ·
Filed under: Greenpoint Magic, Williamsburg 

From South 1st Street.

Bud and Broccoli a la South 1st Street.

From Wythe Avenue.

From Greenpoint Avenue.

Miss Heather

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