Comment Of The Week: 156 India Street

July 29, 2008 ·
Filed under: 11222, Asshole, Greenpoint, Greenpoint Brooklyn, Greenpoint Magic 

I guess I’m late in responding to this, but my then gf & now wife lived at 156, in the back house. I should state that I am a structural engineer. The first time I went there, happy to be invited back to a new girl’s house for the first time, I was absolutely floored by the condition of both buildings on the property.

There were holes in the front house that birds had happily nested in. The hole thing had an odd slant to it. Her friends who lived there asked me if I could do anything, but I knew that reporting it would get the place condemned, leaving them with no place to go and moderate fines for the Owner. Which is pretty much what happened.

My wife moved in with me to a nice place a few blocks away last year, but one of her friends stayed, only to come home to fire trucks & police in front of her house one night. She was given a small window to get her stuff & find a new place to live. As a younger single woman with family & friends in the area, she ended up ok, but there were families in the building who had been there for over 10 years, and I know one Polish family had a profoundly disabled wheelchair ridden child. I can’t imagine what they did.

That there is often no significant penalty to owners/landlords like this is just wrong. There should be criminal penalties associated with this type of abuse.
Rant over!

Yes there should be, but our city doesn’t seem to be too keen on defending the rights of lowly renters. If they were real go-getters they’d own a condo by now.

(Soapbox)

I am not a go-getter. I rent. As do great number of people in this neighborhood. We cannot afford a down payment on a $500,000 condominium and as a result we place our trust in landlords. They are the guardians of our personal safety. Unfortunately all too many of them are like Mr. Nealis.* When landlords fail, we call 311. To little avail. This city should be ASHAMED of itself.

Miss Heather

*Who I am certain would love to have this lot demolished. It’s probably worth more without rent-stabilized housing on it.

50 Cent Goes Fowl!

July 29, 2008 ·
Filed under: Greenpoint Magic, Williamsburg 

I glanced at the New York Observer’s breaking story about 50 Cent gracing the Garden Spot last Friday but quickly forgot about it. Thankfully my buddy at Brooklyn11211 set the record (and my prodigal Greenpoint ass) straight:

Actually, the show will be based at 118 Greenpoint Avenue, a couple blocks up from the Greenpoint waterfront. And about a dozen blocks from the nearest public access to the waterfront.

(Three years after the Greenpoint-Williamsburg Rezoning, and there still is no construction on the Greenpoint waterfront, and no public access to the Greenpoint waterfront. Transmitter Park is the closest to being reality, and that is still on the drawing boards.)

I wonder how Fifty and his crew will like living next to a poultry slaughterhouse?

I’m not a reality (or any kind of) television person, but I am looking forward to this. 50 Cent meets Scarano meets chickens. I have no doubt the feathers will fly!

Miss Heather

UPDATE: This has been debunked! See comments.

Props/Map Creds: Big hugs to Brooklyn11211 for bringing this gem to my attention! You are the 40 oz. to my Mickey’s big mouth.

Happenings At 842 Manhattan Avenue

July 28, 2008 ·
Filed under: Greenpoint Magic 

Derelict since Ricky’s saw fit to depart last year it would appear that this storefront is poised for its newest incarnation. Per a source close to the landlord, 842 Manhattan Avenue is slated to become a juice bar/cafe and tanning salon. While I cannot muster much enthusiasm for such establishments (tanning is not my cup of tea), my tipster brought up a very salient point:

I don’t really care what it is as long as it isn’t another 99 Cent Store or a bank. We already have too damned many of those already.

Very true. Anyone care to take bets as to when the Feds will take over/bail out Washington Mutual? Will it be before or after they open their new location here in Greenpoint?

Miss Heather

Calling All Chicken Wing Lovers!

July 28, 2008 ·
Filed under: Greenpoint Magic 

Mark your calendars because on August 26th at 9:30 p.m. The Habitat is hosting its first ever Habitual Chicken Ritual! The rules are simple enough: the contestant who eats the most wings in ten minutes wins a free night of drinks (albeit not necessarily on the same evening as said contest). Those who are interested in participating should take note: the contest will set you back $5.00 (which includes your first 20 wings) and will be limited to 12 contestants.

The Habitat
988 Manhattan Avenue
Brooklyn New York, 11222

Methinks I will pass on their generous offer of letting vegetarians eat chicken wings for free —but not mistake my dislike for eating flesh for absence: I will attend. Not only have I been meaning to try out their rum punch, but this event is crying out to be filmed.* Greenpoint gluttons carnivores represent!

Miss Heather

*My memory cards explode with delight!

Great Moments in Aluminum Siding, Volume XVII

July 28, 2008 ·
Filed under: Greenpoint Magic, Vinyl Siding 

Last week, dear readers, we learned about the sub-neighborhoods of Greenpoint. Our fair burgh’s affection for siding has at last been duly noted for posterity (my only hope is Very Small Array will make t-shirts). Not only do a great many people know about the quantity and quality of siding to be found here in the Garden Spot of the Universe, but there are some who actively seek it out! Siding connoisseurs, if you will. What’s more, they’re damned choosy. As I learned today.

I was walking down Calyer Street when I noticed a gaggle of smartly dressed folks bearing clipboards and file folders. Thinking that they were Realtors or speculators I tagged along behind them. They weren’t: they were siding specialists!

Man (pointing to the entrance of a house on Calyer Street): Is this the right period?
Woman: Could be. (All stop to examine said domicile)

It was at this point my curiosity got the better of me. I fancy myself as an ambassador of sorts for our fine neighborhood. What’s more, I am not shy about striking up conversations with total strangers. Especially if they happen to be brandishing clip boards.

Miss Heather: Excuse me, are you scouting locations or something?
Woman: Yes.
Miss Heather: I take it you are looking for vinyl siding.
Woman (pointing to aforementioned edifice): Well, actually this one is aluminum.
Miss Heather: Don’t worry, we have plenty of both around here. Good luck!
Woman: Thanks.

And on that note I left them to their building of choice.

Calyer’s ready for her close-up Mr. DeMille!

Miss Heather

Meet Kia

July 28, 2008 ·
Filed under: Greenpoint Magic 

I can be yours to love and ride all night long for only $75.00. I need new tubes, other than that I’m puuurfect.

XOXO

Kia

Anyone interested in taking Kia home tonight should direct his/her inquiries to Kill Devil Hill.

Kill Devil Hill
170 Franklin Street
Brooklyn, New York 11222

Happy riding!

Miss Heather

Greenpoint Photo du Jour: Dupont Street

July 28, 2008 ·
Filed under: Greenpoint Magic 

I offer this, dear readers, for your Monday morning commute delectation. No matter how shitty your job may be, you can take solace that there is always something worse.

Miss Heather

Have You Seen This Charcoal Grill?

July 27, 2008 ·
Filed under: Greenpoint Magic 

I can’t imagine what kind of jerk would steal a barbecue grill but clearly such a person exists, hence the above flier (which I found on Greenpoint Avenue). If you have seen this barbecue grill (which, among other things, is massing a handle) please contact the rightful owner at the above telephone number. Thanks!

Miss Heather

Greenpoint Photos du Jour: Dog Days & Cat Nappers

July 27, 2008 ·
Filed under: Greenpoint Magic 

From Manhattan Avenue.

From Huron Street.

Miss Heather

Andromeda NYC

July 27, 2008 ·
Filed under: Greenpoint Magic 

Yes, yet another contender has thrown his/her ring into the tattoo ring in Greenpoint. This establishment’s name is Andromeda (which I would presume to be an offshoot of that Andromeda of Ab Fab fame) and its business hours are noon – 10:00 p.m. Sunday through Thursday, noon – 11:00 p.m. Friday and Saturday.

Andromeda NYC
827 Noble Street (just off Manhattan Avenue)
Brooklyn, New York 11222

This development makes me wonder if tattoo parlors slated to become the next banks* here. Thoughts, anyone?

Miss Heather

*Yes, Thai restaurants have been supplanted by usury.