New York Shitty Video & Photos Du Jour: On The Waterfront

Today since the weather is amenable, I decided to see what’s happening in far north ‘Point. After revisiting my favorite urban artifact (as seen above, she can be found on Commercial Street not terribly far from the kitty condoplex) I swung over to the Manhattan Avenue Kayak Launch.

First, I encountered this. I do not know when this happened. But it did.

I was stunned at how many boats were moored, illegally I’ll add, on the Queens side of the creek. I have it on excellent intelligence that yes, some of these boats are being pressed into service as residences. Residences on Newtown Creek. Please take a moment to mull this one over, gentle readers.

I do know when this happened: June 9th, 2013. As you can see it has yet to be repaired. No one seems to know if, much less when, this will come to pass. That seems to be the “Greenpoint Way” nowadays.

I was rather distressed to see this: a tree in a clear state of distress. Onward I walked.

No exploration of the utter absurdity that is the Greenpoint waterfront is complete without a visit to the North Brooklyn Boat Club.

Lest any of you are wondering what this is, it is the “Ed Shed”. The “NBBC” (via Open Space Alliance North Brooklyn— remember the latter handles money for the previous) secured a $25,000 grant for this educational facility. Yes, you just read me correctly. This structure will feature a “Sewer In A Suitcase”, material/date about water quality and various art projects for the edification of school groups.

I found this rather large vessel moored to the west curious— but not as curious as…

this one which is affixed to the premises of the Department of Transportation directly under the Pulaski Bridge. Is this legal? No, it probably is not. While we’re on the subject of questionable legality, 51 Ash Street (the premises of the North Brooklyn Boat Club and the new location of the Greenpoint Boathouse) appears to have an al fresco kitchen…

… replete with a barbecue pit…

and “kitchen sink”.

Note that this fixture does appear to be fully functional— and begs a number of questions:

  1. Where is the water coming from? (Educated guess: 49 Ash Street).
  2. Were the proper permits filed to do this? (Educated guess: No.)
  3. How is it that an “educational facility” located on private property (which is under lock and key) can receive a $25,000 grant (and assistance from our local parks conservancy group) and public park whose fence was seriously damaged ten months ago is seemingly not worthy of attention— much less the funding— required to conduct repairs and routine maintenance?

Anyone?

Mark You Calendars: Newtown Creek Environmental Benefits Progress Meeting

April 4, 2014 ·
Filed under: 11222, Greenpoint, Greenpoint Brooklyn, Greenpoint Magic, Newtown Creek 

I have no doubt there will be many questions asked at this meeting. If I may take the liberty of suggesting one, it is as follows:

Why did I have to find out the Greenpoint Boathouse (“Boatel”) was relocated from a blog?

Tomorrow: Let The Dredging Commence!

March 16, 2014 ·
Filed under: 11222, Greenpoint, Greenpoint Brooklyn, Greenpoint Magic, Newtown Creek 

That’s right folks: tomorrow, March 17th (also known as St. Paddy’s Day— insert pot of gold quip here) March 24th, the long-anticipated dredging of Newtown Creek begins. If/when you smell or hear noise fellow Greenpointers— and I can assure some of you will— here’s what to do:

Dredging on Whale Creek (off of Newtown Creek near sewage treatment facility) is expected to happen on Monday, 3/17/2014. If you experience odors or noise, please call 311 and make an “odor complaint” and/or “noise complaint”. DEP’s response will depend on the amount of 311 complaints made. Be sure to get a complaint number and forward it to the Newtown Creek Monitoring Committee liaison Christine Holowacz at 718-349-0150 or nc.mc@verizon.net. You can also send me the complaint number at bargeparkpals@msn.com…

The Great Outdoors…

Yesterday yours truly received a most amusing piece of mail. Yes: MAIL —of the “snail” variety. Without further ado, here it is:

This comes from my comrade over at Queens Crap. I have to say it gave me a good laugh. For those of you who are not in the know, the following should explain why.

A fellow by the name of Jens Rasmussen was recently featured in both the New York Times and CBS Local. He conducts wilderness survival courses on the premises of the North Brooklyn Boat Club. This is where our “new and improved” Greenpoint Boathouse (whose plans have yet to be made public) is to be located. Follows are a couple screengrabs of solicitations this chap has seen fit to post online.

As you see the latter clearly states these come to pass on the premises of the North Brooklyn Boat Club. Something to consider: as a general rule, for profit endeavors are not permissible on the premises on non-profit organizations. I mention this because word on the street is Mr. Rasmussen has stated that the North Brooklyn Boat Club has filed paperwork so as to become a 501(3) c . I feel compelled to note a recent search of the New York State Attorney General’s charities database turned up nothing:

Hmm— but I digress. This afternoon, the weather being downright lovely, I felt the need to explore the wilderness of Long Island City. I decided to grab a few shots of the North Brooklyn Boat Club’s premises (51 Ash Street) en route. Seeing is truly believing.

Um, what is that smoke-stack looking thing? Anyone?

Nowadays Mr. Rasmussen is asking $150.00 a head for his wilderness survival course.

I trust another $50.00 will be forthcoming, Crappy? in any case, follows is my favorite excerpt:

…Head to Greenpoint and meet Jens for an intro and explanation to bushcraft tripping skills, including the most vital things to know and what you can do in a variety of disaster scenarios. Learn valuable tactics like making a signal whistle from an aluminum can…

My advice: save yourself $144.00, purchase a six pack of Budweiser and figure this out on your own. Preferably somewhere that is NOT a Superfund site.

P.S.: I have every intention of creating a “boat club” snow globe. However, in light of recent events methinks this has made it to the top of my list. Cheers!

UPDATE, 8:30 p.m.: I appear to be lacking a suitable character for Ms. Nealis. One will have to be ordered, I am guessing. Nonetheless, I played around with my tentatively titled “Stray Cat Strut” snow globe’s contents and one dedicated to the absurdity that is 51 Ash Street/the North Brooklyn Boat Club. The latter I have entitled “Rockin’ the Pulaski!”

The Mister eventually wandered in and inquired as to what I was doing. Usually this disrupts my “creative process” Not this time. He first inquired:

Are those hobos?

Me: No, those are people learning valuable wilderness survival skills!

He looked closer and noted:

Oh, there’s the Commodore! Where’s Spaulding? SPAULDING GET YOUR FOOT OFF THE BOAT!

Here is Spaulding— and as you can see he has his foot on the boat!

Thanks Pookie Mister Heather!

UPDATE, 9:00 p.m.: Crappy notes:

More to the point of the shenanigans at the boat club, it’s a conflict of interest violation for a board member to be personally profiting from the tax exempt status of the organization. Therefore, if Jens is running his business on their property or using his connection with them to draw people to his classes, then that’s a big no no.

Quicklink: Queens Crap

February 18, 2014 ·
Filed under: 11222, Greenpoint, Greenpoint Brooklyn, Greenpoint Magic, Newtown Creek 

queenscrapsc

You can (and should) read the rest here. On a (somewhat) related note, it would appear there is a tax lien on 51 Ash Street. This is of course the location of the “new and improved” boat house.

How/why does that sound familiar? Anyone?

From The New York Shitty Inbox: Interesting

January 28, 2014 ·
Filed under: 11222, Greenpoint, Greenpoint Brooklyn, Greenpoint Magic, Newtown Creek, Wow, WTF 

I have been wondering what is up with the Greenpoint Boathouse Project of late. As some of you might recall this project (whose description can been seen at the City Parks Foundation’s web site) was brought to a vote and chosen to receive public funds. “Newtown Creek money”, if you will. Well today a most interesting item was brought to my attention via a tipster. This:

A new building has been proposed for 51 Ash Street.

Not much of interest here. Be patient, gentle readers!

I see we are not only are we going to get a “community facility” in the way of a private club for a non for profit (think about that one for a minute) but we’re getting a transient hotel. Fascinating!

And none other than the folks behind Broadway Stages are responsible for this, um, novel endeavor! For those of you who are not in the know as to where 51 Ash Street is located, the following screengrabs from Google Maps should clear matters up a bit.

This is 51 Ash Street.

And this is the Pulaski Bridge. Please tell me I am not the only person who finds the use of public funds ($3,000,000 if Wikipedia is to be believed) for what appears to be a private endeavor a mite bit troubling.

P.S.: Oh yeah, as initially proposed this boat house was supposed to be at 1155 Manhattan Avenue.

Hmm…

UPDATE, January 29, 1:09 p.m.: Continental Auto Parts (the business which graces 49/51 Ash Street) was the location of an armed robbery just under a year ago. Just felt like throwing that odd piece of trivia out there.

Reader Contribution Du Jour: Goodbye Kitty

newtowncreekkittehLAnys

As discovered by my buddy Larry while pounding around  Newtown Creek today. Perhaps we should hook her up with the Greenpoint Avenue teddy?

Quicklink: DNA.info

October 12, 2013 ·
Filed under: 11206, East Williamsburg, East Williamsburg Brooklyn, Newtown Creek 

DNAinfo

A good buddy of mine put it best:

If there’s one place to dock a party boat, it is Newtown Creek.

I wonder if the operators of this, um, facility paid taxes on the revenue from this “hotel”? In any case, you can read this tome by clicking here.

New York Shitty Photo Du Jour: Greetings From The Manhattan Avenue Kayak Launch

September 29, 2013 ·
Filed under: 11222, Greenpoint, Greenpoint Brooklyn, Greenpoint Magic, Newtown Creek, Wow, WTF 

crabs

This is the “haul” for two fellows, very nice guys both), crabbing on Manhattan Avenue Kayak Launch earlier this evening. As you can probably deduce they are not doing this “for sport”. In other words this is probably tonight’s dinner. Yup…

Spotted On Manhattan Avenue: Spider Man

If these images (which a lady named Lisa was kind enough to bring to my attention) are any indication, it was a lively evening in the Garden Spot last night. My tipster kicks the party off as follows:

So…as we’re leaving (a) party… I see fucking Spiderman scaling a building, out of costume, on Manhattan ave. SPIDEY, YOU’RE DRUNK, GO HOME! 

spidey1nys

We first see him climbing up the fire escape ladder and assume, OK, he made it, he’s home. Not so much…

spidey2nys

There were, of course, extensive comments on what would be happening if he was not Caucasian…

spidey3nys

Spidey proceeds to move behind the staircase and onto the ledge, AROUND THE AC UNIT – nice effing moves – and works his way to the next building

spidey4nys

I moved to video, showing poor judgement as it was too dark, so I did not get pics of the rest. Spidey moved to the next building where we thought “no way, that window has child guards on it, he can’t get in there,” but we were wrong…he opened the window and climbed OVER the child guards, OVER THE CHILD GUARDS, through the window, where he was welcomed with cheers from a party. THIS WAS AWESOME! I should post the video just for the Stephanie and Jerry show commentary, but I won’t. But this shit was funny. Damn. Jerry, did anyone believe you when you got back? Here is our proof!

A few thoughts:

  1. Given there have been a number of break-ins hereabouts wherein the thieves accessed the apartment(s) in question via the fire escape, this fellow is lucky no one called the police.
  2. He’s doubly lucky he didn’t fall and seriously hurt himself. I’d say he was tempting fate— and subsequent notoriety courtesy of the New York Post— in a big, big way.
  3. Greenpoint is becoming more and more like the East Village/Lower East Side every day. God help us.

UPDATE: It has been brought to my attention that this morning someone in a BMW drove off Manhattan Avenue, presumably via the Kayak Launch, and into Newtown Creek. Wow. Just wow. You can read Gothamist’s take on this bizarre turn of event by clicking here.