Spotted On Manhattan Avenue: Moondog*

Into ongoing traffic

Moondog

idiot running a red light

Fact learned yesterday evening while crossing Manhattan Avenue: apparently wearing some hybrid of a Mongolian and Viking helmet absolves you of obeying traffic laws. I realize the photographs are not great. I can assure there is a reason for this:

  • I was crossing the street in accordance with the traffic signal.
  • The above woman (who clearly had no intention of stopping) narrowly avoided hitting yours truly.
  • Instead, she veered into oncoming traffic on India Street where she almost hit a motorist (who was following the traffic laws and actually got out of her way).

This is how you become a statistic folks…

*For those of you who are not in the know as to who this fellow is, this should clear things up.

From The New York Shitty Inbox: More Ado About The Manhattan Avenue Kayak Launch

Thumbs UpNYS

Or: Ten Days & Counting!

June 16 2014 1 NYS

June 16 2014 2 NYS

June 16 2014 3 600

June 16 2014 4 NYS

June 16 2014 5 NYS

(Taken June 16, 2014.)

A tipster writes (on June 6th, 2014)

Hi Heather!

Thank you for your post about the Manhattan Ave Boat Launch. I actually attempted to make an online 311 complaint about it a day or two before your post. However, the 311 website did not accept the complaint since the launch is not listed. Today I attempted to make the same complaint via phone and was again unsuccessful. I ended up making an “agency complaint”. I’m sure many people give up long before this point.  I spent about 15 minutes attempting to make the online complaint and 40 minutes making the agency complaint via phone.  My agency complaint number is C1-1-977259887

It lists the following:

  • Parks Dept does not list the site as a park to enable 311 complaints
  • Broken waterfront railing
  • Broken railing surrounding grassy area
  • Wood chips have not been replaced
  • Grass dry and unkempt
  • Boats moored to kayak launch access gate
  • Dead trees
  • Trees with broken branches
  • Excessive weeds

I found the the first bullet point rather fascinating. The following, gentle readers, should clarify why.

QuestionNYS

 

AnswerNYS

Let’s review:

  1. Permits can be/have been issued for the use of this park.
  2. This would suggest that this piece of public space is in the “Parks” system.
  3. However, when a complaint is to be lodged it cannot be located. Fascinating.

wheres levin NYSI suppose the argument could be made that our local parks conservancy/partnership “arrangement” is more interested in the monetization of our public spaces (via the issuance of permits and hosting events such as the Northside Festival) than enforcement/”upkeep”. I would like to kindly counter that much-needed revenue is being lost by allowing these watercraft to moor for free. I wonder what our City Councilman’s position is on this? Anyone?

In any case I was recently advised to poke around online boating forums regarding free mooring at Newtown Creek. Today I did. It was rather illuminating.

Those of you who, say, struggle to pay rent, property taxes or bemoan the woeful condition of our public spaces— few as they are here— should take a moment, read and re-read the previous. Angry yet?

June 16 2014 6 NYS

You should be.

Trouble No More

“Playing by the rules” is for chumps.

P.S.: It would appear the North Brooklyn Boat Club is now the North Brooklyn Community Boathouse.

NYS DOS Division of CorporationsNYS

Still no listing on the New York State Charities Database. Hmm.

NYS state charities database

Nonetheless it is located on the premises of the “Broadway Stages Boat Yard“, is still “fiscally sponsored” by Open Space Alliance North Brooklyn— and they’re having a party!

flyerNYS

 

Um, isn’t OSA’s job to help finance public parks?

danielbrugmannNYS

Flyer credits: the North Brooklyn Boat Club’s Facebook page.

Photo Credit: Dustin Brugmann.

 

 

 

 

 

 

New York Shitty Photos Du Jour: And Then There Were Two

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From Huntington to Greenpoint NYS

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As taken today, June 4th.  It would appear now we have two rather large vessels “parked” at the Manhattan Avenue Kayak Launch. They are neither kayaks nor are they being “launched”. As you can see gentle readers it would appear one watercraft is, how shall we say, “inhabited”?* Isn’t refreshing to see what precious public park space we have in north “Point being pressed into service in such a manner? Of course the “authorities” have their fair share of blame for allowing this to happen (and not repairing the fence for that matter). Straight up: if you can afford a boat such as either of these, you can afford to pay to have it moored legally. It really is that simple.

*Exactly why anyone would want to live where delights such as this

coneyislandwhitefish

are the commonplace is a mystery to me. Anyone?

From The New York Shitty Inbox: And So It Goes…

Transmitter Park Buddha 600

April 24, 2014

Fwd: City of New York Auto Acknowledgment Correspondence # 1-1-9

Fwd: City of New York Auto Acknowledgment Correspondence # 1-1-9

May 6, 2014

Fwd: Your Correspondence to NYC Parks

Fwd: Your Correspondence to NYC Parks

Now let’s jump forward to today, June 3rd, shall we?

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Here’s your “enforcement” folks.

Two

Three

Four

Five

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Nine

Woman walks into park with dog. Woman let’s dog urinate on a sapling. Dog then proceeds to kick up soil and whatever grass may be present. Those who have children, take them this park and let them play in the grass may want to keep the above images in mind. This is why we do not have nice things, Garden Spotters. Of course, it can always be worse. Yesterday used hypodermic needles were found at McCarren Park.

Oh yeah: lest you are wondering, gentle readers, why Buddha graces the beginning of this post I can assure you it is not an accident. I found the enlightened one enjoying our newest piece of park space hereabouts.

New York Shitty Photos Du Jour: Moms & Dads

September 15, 2013 ·
Filed under: Culture War, New York City, Planet Entitlement, Wow, WTF 

momanddads

As handed to a patron with children in tow. Meanwhile, however…

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I would like to humbly recommend asking parents to refrain from using picnic tables as changing stations. Fellow patrons (such as myself) may elect to use them for their intended purpose: dining. The outside world/beer garden is not your lavatory.

Crosstown Local Service Suspension Survival Tip: The Shuttle Bus Is Not— Repeat— NOT A Taxi

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Unlike a lot of folks, the disruption of G train service on weekends does not bother me the least bit. I am fully aware of and sympathize with business owners who will lose revenue as a result of what the MTA is doing: work on the “Greenpoint Tubes”. Lack of access equals less foot traffic which equates to less business. I get it. Really I do. I also understand the hardship this poses for those who have to commute to work, largely service workers all, on weekends. These hardworking (and largely underpaid) people get my utmost empathy.

However, as a citizen I do have to say there are some upshots to having a suspension of service. For starters: less foot traffic has made the neighborhood significantly quieter. Secondly, this has served as a crucial inducement for yours truly to direct her attention to some much-needed maintenance at Chez Shitty. Lastly, watching how my neighbors adapt to this change in their routine has proven to be interesting and downright hilarious. This post is about the latter-most two points.

Today’s “agenda” is simple enough: finish touching up the paint job in the bedroom and hang drapes (in anticipation of the upcoming heat wave). As is usually the case, this entailed a lot more preliminary preparation than meets the eye. Furniture had to be removed. Before furniture can be removed the overflowing contents of the laundry hamper has to be removed. For all intents and purposes the hamper has ceased to be little more than a general target, a marker if you will, of the day’s spent apparel. I learned upon further excavation this included shoes. Lots of them. I was not pleased by this and decided it was time to take action. I would procure not one— but TWO— laundry hampers: “his” and “hers”. As governmental policy “separate but equal” is a crock of shit— but anyone who has a partner will attest that on occasion this is not such a bad idea. It keeps the domestic peace.

My mission was simple:

  1. acquire two identical laundry hampers
  2. these would be found on Manhattan Avenue
  3. install them side by side in the place of the deceased one

For what it is worth, I was successful. However, when I crossed Greenpoint Avenue (headed south) I beheld something quite amusing. A young woman, upset that she had missed the shuttlebus, gave chase while her boyfriend/partner continued to talk on his cell phone. She managed to catch up to said bus at Noble Street and, her eyes lit up in anticipation, attempted to “hail” it as one does a taxi. No dice.

Not believing my eyes I decided to watch how this played out. In other words: I followed the couple who was following the bus (it was en route to where I was headed anyway, what’s another five minutes of my time?). Another attempt was made at Calyer.

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You cannot see her (her man friend photobombed my attempt to document this hilarity)— but here she is trying to get the attention of the shuttle bus driver once more. What followed provided yours truly with today’s heaping helping of Schadenfreude. Yet another wide-eyed look of hope and hand held high “hailing”. But this time it was clouded by the realization that the bus driver had not, in fact, simply not seen her the first time. Rather, she was being ignored. Yours truly commenced to laugh hysterically. I still am laughing.

When I arrived home I told the Mister about my little adventure. In the course of our conversation he made a very piquant point:

I wonder if she makes the conductor of the G train stop wherever she wants?

I’d like to see her try it. I mean, the amount of time and effort she spent chasing that bus down she could have simply waited for another one— or simply walked to Nassau Avenue. Hell, she was already halfway there!

I replied.

mapanno

 

The point of having public transportation is it serves the public. This is why it is called “public transportation”. A shuttle bus is not a taxi. If one requires a taxi many can be found here. Easily. Chasing down a shuttle bus is not only an exercise in futility but the sense of entitlement such an action entails provides ample entertainment to people such as myself. And one such person might take the time from more pressing/important matters (READ: procrastinate) to author a blog post about it. Hey, it is not like yours truly is going anywhere.

Cut these shuttle bus drivers some slack, folks. They have a job to do.

New York Shitty Video Du Jour: North 10 Street

June 18, 2013 ·
Filed under: 11211, Planet Entitlement, Williamsburg, Williamsburg Brooklyn, Wow, WTF 

A fallen tree proves to be a getting back to nature cum video opportunity.

(Taken June 18, 2013.)

Greenpoint Photos Du Jour: Sign Of The Times

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I discovered today the C-Town on Manhattan Avenue has seen fit to establish a few rules for its clientele.

NO:

  • Skateboarding
  • Bicycle Riding
  • Rollerblading
  • Scooter Riding

I know what you’re thinking:

There’s no way someone would see fit to ride a scooter in a supermarket. This is just common sense.

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As I discovered February 18th, common sense (or courtesy) ain’t as common as it is purported to be…

New York Shitty Day Ender: Meet Mr. Frankenstein

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As I was attempting to capture the Halloween imagery in the window at this building (which can be seen at top right in the above photo), a man collecting cans shouted:

Why not take a picture of me instead?

Me: Sure.

 

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And then Charles asked me how I would like him to pose. I told him was not necessary. Rather, I would simply like to know his story.

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First off, he showed me the custom jacket he made. Then he showed me his “identification card” (which cited a Common Ground shelter off of Times Square) and added:

I lived here ten years ago. My best friend died here. He said he would haunt me for the rest of my life. I feel the need to come back here.

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Charles went on to explain to me his fascination for the movie “Frankenstein”. More specifically that a man created a “monster” and gave it his name. When I pointed out that I (a chick with blue hair wearing a hat sporting cat ears) prefer “Bride of Frankenstein” myself he noted:

The woman with the crazy hair.

Yeah, I thought it was pretty awesome.

Charles: You have a doctor who created them and, having no name of their own, gave them his name. They’re a family.

Me: They were.

Charles went on to recount how much he likes the Wizard of Oz (especially the scarecrow) and Mister Rogers (paraphrased):

He was an old man who played with toys and invited people to be his neighbors. I want to do that… I am artist (once again showing off his customized jacket) there are plenty on people (on Times Square) doing drawings why can’t I?

Excellent question.

This post is dedicated to Charles Winston Frankenstein (which is what the above fellow made quite clear was his name).

New York Shitty Day Starter: Urban Artifact

From Wythe Avenue.