Greenpoint
Cafe Cito Bogota
Greenpoint Photos Du Jour: Sign Of The Times
Filed under: 11222, Gentrification, Greenpoint, Greenpoint Brooklyn, Greenpoint Magic, Planet Entitlement
I discovered today the C-Town on Manhattan Avenue has seen fit to establish a few rules for its clientele.
NO:
- Skateboarding
- Bicycle Riding
- Rollerblading
- Scooter Riding
I know what you’re thinking:
There’s no way someone would see fit to ride a scooter in a supermarket. This is just common sense.
As I discovered February 18th, common sense (or courtesy) ain’t as common as it is purported to be…
New York Shitty Day Ender: Meet Mr. Frankenstein
Filed under: 11211, Gentrification, Planet Entitlement, Williamsburg, Williamsburg Brooklyn
As I was attempting to capture the Halloween imagery in the window at this building (which can be seen at top right in the above photo), a man collecting cans shouted:
Why not take a picture of me instead?
Me: Sure.
And then Charles asked me how I would like him to pose. I told him was not necessary. Rather, I would simply like to know his story.
First off, he showed me the custom jacket he made. Then he showed me his “identification card” (which cited a Common Ground shelter off of Times Square) and added:
I lived here ten years ago. My best friend died here. He said he would haunt me for the rest of my life. I feel the need to come back here.
Charles went on to explain to me his fascination for the movie “Frankenstein”. More specifically that a man created a “monster” and gave it his name. When I pointed out that I (a chick with blue hair wearing a hat sporting cat ears) prefer “Bride of Frankenstein” myself he noted:
The woman with the crazy hair.
Yeah, I thought it was pretty awesome.
Charles: You have a doctor who created them and, having no name of their own, gave them his name. They’re a family.
Me: They were.
Charles went on to recount how much he likes the Wizard of Oz (especially the scarecrow) and Mister Rogers (paraphrased):
He was an old man who played with toys and invited people to be his neighbors. I want to do that… I am artist (once again showing off his customized jacket) there are plenty on people (on Times Square) doing drawings why can’t I?
Excellent question.
This post is dedicated to Charles Winston Frankenstein (which is what the above fellow made quite clear was his name).
New York Shitty Day Starter: Urban Artifact
Filed under: 11211, Planet Entitlement, Urban Artifact, Williamsburg, Williamsburg Brooklyn
From Wythe Avenue.
From The New York Shitty Inbox, Part III: Delivery Bikes Only?
Filed under: 11211, Culture War, Planet Entitlement, Williamsburg, Williamsburg Brooklyn
A fellow we’ll call “T” (who took the above photograph) writes:
Just saw this shiny new sign on the westernmost edge of McCarren. Is this even legally enforceable? I don’t think that if you install a structure like this on public property (ie: the sidewalk) you get to enforce who uses it. Anyhow, it’s a pretty gross gesture to others in the neighborhood: “Our wealthy tenants have so many meals delivered that we need an entire rack to accommodate the bikes. I’m sure the rest of you serfs don’t understand what that’s like, but we appreciate your compliance. Please go chain up against the nearest street sign.”
Is this legally enforceable? That’s an excellent question. One I have taken up with a few folks in the know.
To be continued…
UPDATE, 6:43 p.m.: Follows are a few responses I have received!
Needs a DOT revocable consent for street furniture.
There was another one of these “private bike racks” in the east village last year.
Gothamist got to the bottom of it. http://gothamist.com/2011/10/14/can_you_have_a_private_bike_rack_on.php
Quoth the DOT representative: “even if a permit is issued for installation, that does not mean the bike rack is for the exclusive use of the owner if it is installed on a public sidewalk.”
Public sidewalk = public bike rack.
So the next question becomes:
Will this ordinance be enforced?
Given the predilection for selective enforcement hereabouts, I for one am not terribly optimistic.
Highlights From Community Board 1: Let’s Talk Trash
Filed under: 11211, 11222, Greenpoint, Greenpoint Brooklyn, Greenpoint Magic, Planet Entitlement, Williamsburg, Williamsburg Brooklyn
One of the more provocative parts of last week’s convocation— and there were quite a few, I assure you— were two ladies speaking on the subject of illegal garbage can holders.
More specifically: these garbage can holders. Behold the Community Board 1 action regarding them for yourselves, gentle readers (start at 7:28).
New York Shitty analysis:
1. Exactly what constitutes a “beautiful” garbage can holder? If there is in fact such a thing, it in the eye of the beholder.
2. While certainly nice, they are placed on public property (READ: the sidewalk). This is a big no-no.
As these ladies noted, their neighbor is obeying the law:
3. This is not to suggest I am not sympathetic to these ladies’s plight. I am. They brought up a very salient point: the developer of their respective properties did not consider trash collection when designing their respective condominiums. This is clearly a problem. One which should have been prevented at the “planning stage”. Which brings me to…
Yesterday I decided to see how 239 Banker Street’s illegal garbage fixture cum bicycle rack was faring.
Not only is it still there, but among the assorted detritus I found something of interest.
Not one but two boxes which formerly contained stoves. (For those of you who are not in the know, “estufa” means stove in Spanish. Somewhere my high school Spanish teacher is smiling!) As you can see the powers that be behind this illegal conversion are scarcely concerned about getting caught. What’s more, I learned at last week’s proceedings why.
So there have you: fines are simply part and parcel of “doing business”. Given the “lofts” at 239 Banker Street are going for anywhere between $2,700 – $3,400 for 700 square foot (if that) of “living space” nowadays, well, it has become all too clear how effective these “penalties” have been as a deterrent against this landlord continuing to illegal legally lease out this property as residential space.
In closing I will leave you, gentle readers, with the latest bit of “immaculate construction” I spied at 239 Banker Street.
As the screencap of a video I shot on June 3rd of this year indicates, what is now an “apartment” used to be a doorway.* But don’t take my word for it: view the video for yourself.
*For those of you who are wondering, this is perfectly in keeping with the plans for this “hotel”…
Quicklink: No Shirt, No Shoes, Horrible Service
Filed under: 11211, 11222, Culture War, Greenpoint, Greenpoint Brooklyn, Greenpoint Magic, Planet Entitlement, Williamsburg, Williamsburg Brooklyn
Choice quote:
I’m not sure I would ever recommend anyone go to the McCarren Park Pool unless you just got out of prison.
That might be a bit of an overstatement. However, the anecdote about the lock and link to the unofficial McCarren Park Pool’s web site (which features some pretty amusing stock photography, including a fellow holding a bottle of beer)— among many other things— make this tome worth a moment of one’s time. Enjoy, gentle readers— or not!
Now if you don’t mind, I am off to acquire a slew of locks and white t-shirts to sell to pool goers at 300% mark-up. One woman’s misfortune is another’s business opportunity!
Props go to Miss Mousey Brown for bringing this to my attention!
New York Shitty Photos du Jour: Garden Spot
Filed under: 11211, Culture War, Planet Entitlement, Williamsburg, Williamsburg Brooklyn
its not about brunch. this is a pissing contest about rules. we are loosing our cool “illegal” street garden… thanks to all this bs! so so lame!!
— Member of Community Board 1 in regards to the enforcement of sidewalk cafe rules
New York Shitty Photo du Jour: A North 9 Street PSA
Filed under: 11211, Planet Entitlement, Street Art, Williamsburg, Williamsburg Brooklyn
You’re the center of your own universe!
Miss Heather
New York Shitty Photo du Jour, Part II: I Beg Your Pardon
Filed under: 11222, Greenpoint, Greenpoint Brooklyn, Greenpoint Magic, Planet Entitlement
It’s been awhile since yours truly has posted material pertaining to the film industry’s affection for my community. Thankfully today I got a much-needed reminder. As you can deduce from the above missive (which is located on Bedford Avenue at Manhattan Avenue), shooting “on location” is not merely about, well, location: it apparently also includes the citizenry contained therein. Note how the “general vicinity” seems to include a bus stop. This puts people (some of whom I would presume need to ride the bus in order to go to work or otherwise go about their daily lives) in a very interesting predicament: do they stay and therefore “consent” to being filmed/monetized or do they go elsewhere?
Miss Heather
P.S.: Is this legal? I really want to know.
Greenpoint Fashion Watch: Meet Santos
Filed under: 11222, Advanced Life Forms, Greenpoint, Greenpoint Brooklyn, Greenpoint Magic, Planet Entitlement
Today was a very long one for yours truly. First was the tour of the Shit Tits. That was a pleasure for yours truly. It was when I went to work that things got interesting. When I arrived at the junk shop I heard the strains of death metal. This is not a good sign. To share a trade secret— a Greenpoint Jedi mind trick, if you will— Meshuggah finds its way onto the company stereo for one reason and one reason only: when there is someone present in the store we would very much like to depart. This is a passive aggressive tactic to be certain— but it works!
What I stumbled upon this morning was no exception. When I entered the junk shop no less than four twenty-somethings were sitting in chairs (which are for sale, not lease) conversing like they were in their own living room. Quite frankly I was dumbstruck. Perhaps I am old fashioned, but I cannot for the life of me comprehend how someone— anyone— would consider this to be acceptable behavior. But clearly some people do— and I digress.
After they left (hall raked by the aforementioned death metal— I had polka music waiting in the wings lest it was needed) a parade of people came and went who needed to be experienced to truly be believed. To cite an example: why would someone want a price for a Palm Pilot if he does not know what it is— much less what it does?* I am still trying to figure this one out. Once again: it was a long day. But when I saw Santos I had to smile…
and could not resist asking him about his choice of apparel. He informed me:
There are a lot of weird people here. You have to watch what you wear or they will try to talk to you. Men, we have to watch what we wear… women, they can get away with anything. Have you seen the women over there (pointing towards Nassau Avenue)? They’re CRAZY.
I could not have said it better myself. For those of you who are wondering Santos says J.C. Penney is a great place to buy t-shirts. Do I smell an enticing endorsement deal around the corner— or is it just Greenpoint?
Miss Heather
*My reply:
I don’t know. I don’t work in an office.
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