And Now A Word From Our Local 3/4 House

(Priceless)

The Poo Corner Project: And Then There Were Two?

As I prognosticated yesterday, today’s “load” was dispatched on India Street. I refrained from annotating it, as the rainfall would render my sidewalk chalk useless. But does today’s dispatch end here? Not by a long-shot, gentle readers. When I rounded the corner onto West Street I doscovered something rather interesting.

It would appear someone has seen fit to voice his/her dissatisfaction with this dog owner’s anti-social behavior. Exactly how this will influence my study/behavioral experiment remains to be seen.

But the sugar plum fairies are taking it all in stride…

UPDATE, 3:41 p.m.: I am pleased as punch to announce my endeavor has not gone unnoticed/appreciated by our friends on the left coast. Click here and see the magic for yourself!

From The New York Shitty Inbox: Found On Skillman Avenue

Many of you reading this tome are aware of the phenomenon that is 373 Graham Avenue (as seen above). I have featured it on this site on a number of occasions. What you might not know is the man behind this endeavor is named Joe…

and someone would very much like to have a word with him.

The Word On The Street: Bum

From Montrose Avenue.

Miss Heather

Urban Fur: Don’t Tread On Me

Lesson learned on Manhattan Avenue this afternoon: Daisy does not like dogs.

Miss Heather

McGuinness Boulevard Feral BMW Watch: 96 Hours Later

April 14, 2011 ·
Filed under: 11222, Greenpoint, Greenpoint Brooklyn, Greenpoint Magic, Street Justice 

No more tickets have been issued— but we have two new banana peels!

Miss Heather

A McKibben Street PSA

Taken April 11, 2011.

Miss Heather

New York Shitty Photos du Jour: McGuinness Boulevard

After getting word form my buddy Jay that a beleaguered Beamer was being used as a trash receptacle on the Champs-Élysées of our fair burgh I simply had to see (and smell) this spectacle for myself. I am pleased to report I was not disappointed!

As you can see it has received a few “additions”.

The presence of food matter, vomitus and/or effluvia was noted.

A solitary carrot has found its way into the mix.

Here’s a close up of the cat shit.

And last— but hardly least— a parking ticket. What will tomorrow hold, you ask? That remains to be seen. But I suspect our fellow Greenpointers will not disappoint!

Miss Heather

From The New York Shitty Inbox, Part I: Street Justice On McGuinness Boulevard?

The above item comes courtesy of Jay Lombard, who writes:

You should check out this car on McG near Norman. Parked next to PS 34 for weeks (wish I had taken a photo from late Feb for comparison). It has the usual dirt and grime from being parked on the Boulevard for an extended period PLUS our neighbors have seen fit to adorn it with:
1) contents of litter box. Note the clump factor
2) shriveled banana peel
3) remnants of at least two notes requesting removal. Possibly by the principal of the adjacent school?

Besides occupying a prime parking spot in a neighborhood where parking is scarce this vehicle prevents the street from being cleaned (Sweeper operators have left a noticeable trail from repeatedly swerving around it), is an eyesore and, now, is beginning to stink. I’ve placed a call to 311 to report an abandoned car with NH plates. How long until it gets removed and what other items pile on top of it while it sits there are anyone’s guess.

WOW. Methinks I will have to pay this al fresco litter box a visit!

Miss Heather

 

By popular demand…

After tossing up this post (which featured arguably the most diabolically clever ruse to get noisy neighbors to cease and desist) I had a number of people request copies of this letter. This weekend I happened to bump into my fiendish friend and asked him for it. Twenty four hours later there it was in my inbox. “John” writes:

Hi Heather,

here’s the letter, you can post it as is if you like. I folded this letter into an envelope that had the name of some attorney on it. . . .a nice subtly that may have had an effect. So, I wrote this after going up to their door 3 separate times to politely explain the noise situation. Nothing changed, in fact it seemed to get worse. Anyway, things have been quiet since delivering this note.

Without further ado, here it is. Enjoy!

Dear Upstairs Neighbors,

First I’d like to say I appreciate what you’ve done to keep the noise level down. I can’t imagine it’s very easy. However, I feel that I may not have made my message clear, that is why I’m writing this letter. My entire apartment is basically below your kitchen and bathroom. Your kitchen floor is my ceiling.

I’m not talking about regular footfalls from normal walking, that I can hear and easily deal with. I’m referring to moments of thunderous vibrating pulses of sound from stomping and jumping that take place over my entire apartment.

To understand this, you have to know that your kitchen floor is the original flooring from the early 1900’s. No reinforcement, only very thin, old dry floor joists. That is why the walls and floor of my apartment explode with vibration when there is heavy walking, esp. with shoes.

Like I mentioned earlier, I can hear every step anyone makes upstairs above me, not a problem, but when there is heavy walking and pounding on the floor, plaster has literally fallen from the ceiling and objects on the shelves begin to shudder, similar to a small earthquake. No joke. The quality of living in this apartment has severely diminished. I’ve lived here for 4 years and have never experienced this before.

There is a clause in the lease that allows the tenant to enjoy the peaceful environment of their apartment and I have to tell you that has not been the case within the last two months! The last thing I want to do is bother or complain about excessive noises, but when it starts to effect my daily existence, sleep and general concentration, it’s time for all neighbors to be aware of it and concessions have to be made.

I have to tell you that there have been times when I actually feel trapped in my apartment, when the pounding and stomping begin to consume the air of my small space. I have no where else to go when this noise level ratchets up. I’m basically a prisoner in this pulsating box as I sit and wait until it slowly goes away..

Look, I pay my rent here, and help the landlady with odds and ends around the building to help maintain a safe, positive and peaceful environment in this building and apartment. So, while your kitchen floor (my ceiling) is only a thin separation between tenants, your living room floor however, is totally reinforced.

I helped to install the flooring in that front living room. Three quarter inch plywood laid over the original wood flooring plus insulation then carpet. That makes a huge difference. You could put on a Broadway show on that floor and not bother anyone.

I’m not asking for total silence, that’s ridiculous I understand. I’m asking for everyone who lives above me to be mindful of the impact they’re making on the kitchen floor. That’s all!!

One thing that would help is to consider taking shoes off when walking on the floor in the kitchen area. It’s a night and day difference for me.

Please understand my situation, I would appreciate anything that you can do to help out here. If not, I will be forced to take other initiatives.

Thank you,

Your neighbor

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