Urban Artifact: Wish Fulfillment!

CBS screencapSo over the last week we have had:

1. Time Warner employee sex at the Newtown Creek Nature Walk.*

2. Some blue chip public urination at Graham Avenue’s B43 bus stop thrown in for good measure

3. Indecent exposure (as seen at left) on our very Crosstown Local.

Yes, gentle readers, I’d say things are hoppin’.  So much so I lament not seeing my share of the action. Obviously I have been not at the wrong place at the right time. I shared my disappointment with my public urination tipster. To wit, he/she replied:

Awwww Heather. I just know there’s an exposed penis out there for you too. And I bet when you see it, it’ll be the longest one of all. :)

Today it finally happened— in a manner of speaking. Thankfully it did not involve lewd public acts and I actually had the choice of looking— or not. Read on!

371 Stagg Street nys

Ever had the feeling you’re being watched? Today while strolling along Stagg Street I did.

Stagg Street Art Object nys

Sure enough I was right. So help me, but I can swear this fellow was beckoning me to come closer.

Big Head nys

So I did.

Pitching a tent nys

As you can see my new friend is, to use vulgar parlance, “pitching a tent”. Let’s go in!

Little Head nys

What a piece of work is a man! How noble in reason, how infinite in faculty! In form and moving how express and admirable! In action how like an Angel! in apprehension HOW LIKE A GOD!

— William Shakespeare, emphasis mine— Ed. Note.

I can only imagine what the provenance of this item is. A remnant of some hitherto unknown bacchanalian Industrial Business Zone ritual, perhaps?

Heres looking at you kid nys

Here’s looking at you, kid…

Closing on a somewhat related note, your’s truly discovered and acquired a most fascinating product recently. I present without further ado, Peni Fresh!

The FRESHMAKER nys

soapActually I acquired a few bars— much to the amusement of the staff at said deli/grocery. One was a birthday present (said birthday boy was present), the others will be stocking stuffers. The holiday season will be upon us soon enough and let’s face facts: nothing says “Good will toward your fellow man” quite like telling them, however subtly, that they need to wash their tackle. I have yet to discern exactly what is meant by “TUTTI-FRUITTI” flavor. Methinks I’ll leave that task to Ralphie. Those of you who want to upgrade your mere dingus to a dicksicle, methinks I have found the product to make it happen. Cheers!

Peni Fresh: the Freshmaker!

*surveillance footage of which was requested by and is apparently making the rounds through the Newtown Creek Monitoring Committee!

Greenpoint Photos Du Jour: Urban Artifact

Hair 1 nys

Hair 2 nys

Taken September 16, 2014.

Urban Artifact: Mission Accomplished?

Humboldt Street Free-cycling NYS

THe MRS Degree Immersion Pack nys

Taken today, September 14th, 2014, on Humboldt Street.

Urban Artifact: 675 Days & Counting!

September 9, 2014 ·
Filed under: 11222, Greenpoint, Greenpoint Brooklyn, Greenpoint Magic, Urban Artifact 

Lookin Good nys

Lookin’ good…

Urban Artifact: Manhattan Avenue

September 7, 2014 ·
Filed under: 11222, Greenpoint, Greenpoint Brooklyn, Greenpoint Magic, Urban Artifact 

Manhattan Avenue nys

Looks like someone had a swingin’ Saturday night…

(Taken September 7, 2014.)

Urban Artifact: Bergen Street

September 3, 2014 ·
Filed under: Cobble Hill, Cobble Hill Brooklyn, Crosstown Local, Urban Artifact 

Bergen Street 1 nys

Bergen Street 2 nys

Even finger puppets cannot suppress their glee for full, restored G train service!

(Taken September 3, 2014.)

Urban Artifact, Part II: Callbox Cuisine

August 30, 2014 ·
Filed under: 11222, Greenpoint, Greenpoint Brooklyn, Greenpoint Magic, Urban Artifact 

Callbox Manhattan at Greenpoint Avenue nys

Rice and beans nys

Callbox Cuisine nys

As spotted today around noon. Who doesn’t love him/her some rice and beans? I do— and obviously someone else does because these vittles were gone when I walked by later at 5:30 pm. Another Greenpoint mystery! For those of you who may be wondering, I have seen a great many foodstuff “stored” in this call box over the years. It is an ad hoc pantry/storage area of sorts. By far the best was a can, bereft of label, which had question makes drawn all over it with Sharpie marker. On the top someone saw fit to write:

The Mystery Can!

Ah, memories…

Urban Artifact: Kent Avenue

August 30, 2014 ·
Filed under: 11211, 11249, Urban Artifact, Williamsburg, Williamsburg Brooklyn 

walker with leis nys

Taken August 30, 2014.

Urban Artifact: Pornocopia!

August 29, 2014 ·
Filed under: 11222, Greenpoint, Greenpoint Brooklyn, Greenpoint Magic, Urban Artifact 

For the last week the Mister has been on “staycation”. This has entailed certain things, among them:

  • Taking strolls at a more leisurely pace. This is my concession to the Mister.
  • The Mister allowing yours truly to investigate items I find of interest.

This post is an example of the latter. This evening the Mister and I were meeting friends for dinner at Raizes.* Instead of simply walking McGuinness (which is a bit much), I suggested we walk Newell instead. It was not long until we encountered something interesting. This:

Mystery bag

I, having seen quite a bit of weird shit on the this block over the years, immediately dove in.

You’re not going to touch that?

The Mister asked. To wit I replied;

There’s porn in this bag.

Sure enough, my “porndar” was correct!

sticky fingered 2

Behold, Sticky Fingered #2.

Rocky 3 and 5

Underneath this fine piece of cinema was Rocky 3 & Rocky 5. Fascinating.

moreporn

And underneath all the previous was, naturally, MORE PORN! Specifically: Ass Fuck 4, Little Lace Panties 1

PORNO

and this intriguingly titled tape of specially curated material. What secrets does it hold, I wonder? Any/all who are looking for something to do this holiday weekend may want to take the above selections under consideration. There are eight tapes total (one of which is not labelled at all— intriguing!) and they can be found behind the Key Food on Newell Street.

pornocopia

I have neatly arranged them for easy/selection perusal. Enjoy!

*Which I highly recommend, by the way. There are vegan and vegetarian items available. They are offered on their small plate menu. Try them!

Urban Artifact: India Street

August 28, 2014 ·
Filed under: 11222, Greenpoint, Greenpoint Brooklyn, Greenpoint Magic, Urban Artifact 

Legs on India nys

Legs nys

Legs on india 2

Taken August 27, 2014.