Urban Artifact, Part II: Special Feels Like Fall Edition

November 3, 2014 ·
Filed under: 11222, Greenpoint, Greenpoint Brooklyn, Greenpoint Magic, Urban Artifact, Wow, WTF 

Autumn ColorsNYS

Today I had a craving for Mexican food. Well, not “Mexican” food per se. I craved crap. To this end I patronized the Taco Bell located on the Champs-Élysées of the Garden Spot: McGuinness Boulevard. Upon exiting with my bag of unhealthy goodness I noticed two perfectly placed pairs of coordinating footwear atop the garbage can. How they got there is anyone’s guess. I simply found how they coordinated with the building compelling and strangely beautiful.

shitittsTHUMBAfter snapping this shot I opted to enjoy my burrito al fresco. I took a stroll along Provost Street. There outside the premises of the Newtown Creek Waste Water Treatment Facility— in the shadow of the Shit Tits— I happened upon another urban artifact. It too was compelling but most decidedly not beautiful.

It is rare, gentle readers, that I happen upon something that makes me lose my appetite. After closer examination of the item in question (and shooting burrito bits out of my nose) this is exactly what happened. The burrito was placed back in the bag and out came the camera.

I suppose I should take the glass half-full approach:

1. The parties responsible for the piece of love’s detritus which awaited my delectation engaged in safe sex.
2. Greenpoint— especially its more remote/secluded nooks and crannies— is and has long been for lovers.

WARNING/CAVEAT: once this is seen, it cannot be unseen. Click at your own risk.

From The New York Shitty Inbox, Part II: And Now A Word From NAG

NAG email NYS

New York Shitty Analysis: Apparently getting busted for operating an illegal waste handling station in Greenpoint and lying to the Business Integrity Commission does not preclude one from receiving honors from “Neighbors Allied For Good Growth” (formerly known as Neighbors Against Garbage”).

You can’t make this stuff up, folks…

Today In Greenpoint Real Estate Insanity: 533 Leonard Street

October 10, 2014 ·
Filed under: 11224, Abjectecture, Greenpoint, Greenpoint Brooklyn, Greenpoint Magic, Wow, WTF 

533 leonard sidewalk

533 Leonard

BKrelicsThe sale of 533 Leonard Street, the former meeting hall for Polish Legion of American Veterans is hardly news. Nor is the fact that it will be “adapted” to residential use as opposed to simply being razed. A rather nifty site called Brooklyn Relics has a pretty nice summary of these passing events which can be read by clicking here. The author of this tome opines:

The adaptive reuse of historic buildings is often necessary for the buildings to maintain market viability. However, in the case of the PLAV building, the proposed design dominates the historic structure it traverses even though the original facade is supposed to be the intended focal point. Hopefully the finished modern portion of the structure will be muted enough that it does not compete with the original building’s architecture…

I cannot tell a lie: I was initially relieved by the news this building would be modified as opposed to merely being demolished. Then it was brought to my attention by a very nice lady named Amber that a rendering has been posted on the premises of the finished product. I did a walk-by to see it myself— after all, seeing is truly believing. All I can say is the author of Brooklyn Relics was being quite charitable in his analysis.

533 Leonard Street rendering NYS

Here’s the deal folks:

In terms of Greenpoint construction— any construction— I keep my expectations low. Really low. Methinks I need not elaborate why this is so. Let’s just say there’s ample “precedent”.

closeup

 

200 FranklinThis exceeds even my expectations— and not in a good way. So help me, but this may very well make me rethink adaptation (versus demolition) as a good— or at least “better”— policy. Aside from exploiting the benefits a modification permit versus a new building affords (modification permits are not subject to the same level of scrutiny) and exploiting every cubic centimeter of FAR, I see absolutely no rhyme or reason to this “design”.

Yes sir: 200 Franklin Street’s days as the ugliest building in Greenpoint, which is no small accomplishment, may very well be numbered.

Mazel tov!

From The New York Shitty Inbox, Part II: Presenting BushSick

September 12, 2014 ·
Filed under: Bushwick, Bushwick Brooklyn, Gentrification, Wow, WTF 

bushsick

With the rapid development of Bushwick, wont be to long until it becomes BushSick

This item was brought to my attention by a person we’ll call “D”. A couple thoughts/observations:

  1. The grammar employed in this advertisement actually inflicted physical pain in yours truly.
  2. I have to wonder about the legality of what appears to be a basement apartment. Fire code, anyone?

From The New York Shitty Inbox: Perception Vs. Reality

September 4, 2014 ·
Filed under: 11222, Criminal Activity, Greenpoint, Greenpoint Brooklyn, Greenpoint Magic, Wow, WTF 

Screen Shot 2014-09-04 at 2.40.05 PMA lady we’ll call “N” writes (regarding the screencap at left):

screenshot from googlenews. the pr and the reality of greenpoint! (these paths seem to be crossing a lot these days). and cheers to the tough guy owner of milk and roses…

You can read about what happened at Milk and Roses (and Acapulco Deli as well it would appear) here. Here’s an excerpt/teaser:

…Davis has been charged with assault, criminal possession of a weapon and harassment, according to the Brooklyn District Attorney’s office. He was released without bail and ordered to stay away from the cafe. (Emphasis mine — Ed. Note) His attorney did not respond to request for comment.

Wow. Just wow.

Update, September 5th: I have taken this up with Assemblyman Lentol’s office and they are working to find out exactly what happened and why the District Attorney’s office is handling this case the way they are. To be continued…?

From The New York Shitty Inbox: And Now A Word From The NYPD

August 25, 2014 ·
Filed under: Criminal Activity, DUMBO, DUMBO Brooklyn, New York City, Wow, WTF 

Good arrest

As forwarded by an anonymous tipster. Is it just me or is “blasting” a mass email about a “good arrest” kind of confirming the recent trend of (and this is being kind) “bad arrests” we have learned about lately? So let me get this straight.

Suspected of selling loose cigarettes while being a black male? That merited a chokehold.

Skip a subway fare while being a black male? That’s a serious asskicking.

But being a colossal dumbass (of unspecified race it would seem*) wandering around the tower of the Brooklyn Bridge taking photos with your iPhone? Well, that seems to merit a “good” arrest.

You can’t make this shit up, folks…

*It turns out that not only is this miscreant white, but he was also a tourist. This explains a few things…

Urban Artifact*: Special 31st Avenue and Steinway Edition

August 14, 2014 ·
Filed under: 11103, Astoria, Astoria Queens, Urban Artifact, Wow 

Bear nys

Skulls nys

Horse and Kermit nys

Looking East nys

Side View Looking south nys

Paraphernalia nys

Looking west nys

Pink Piano nys

Side View Looking north nys

Taken August 14, 2014.

*Once in a very very blue moon I will encounter something which quite frankly defies an easy— if any— description. This will have to suffice.

East Williamsburg Photo Du Jour: Seigel Street

Dont Get JumpedNYS

I saw a host of these flyers on/around White Street today. Be mindful of your surroundings folks…

Spotted At The North Brooklyn Boat Club: Butt Tossing

shitty photo

shittyphoto2

North Brooklyn Boat Club July 1 2014 1030 pm nys

Last night the Mister and I decided to have dinner in Long Island City. Since the weather was (somewhat) amenable we decided to walk home. As we were crossing the Pulaski we spied signs of activity at the North Brooklyn Boat Club. Intrigued— because, as we all, a great deal of “educational outreach” is conducted at 10:13 on  a Tuesday night— we decided to hang around see what gives. Clearly they were wrapping up for the night. And then the Mister saw something interesting. VERY INTERESTING.

THIS GUY nys

closeup

This fellow placed an object to his mouth (a kazoo? cigarette?), pulled a drag and proceeded to walk to the floating dock. There he tossed it into the creek. The Mister was flummoxed:

Did you see that? He just tossed a cigarette into the creek?!?

Me: Yes, I saw that. Did you know the North Brooklyn Boat Club was recently awarded Greenpoint Community Environmental Fund money so as to educate bar patrons about how cigarette butts thrown onto the street enter our sewer system and eventually end up in the creek?

The Mister: Really?

GCEFnbbcNYS

 

Really. Perhaps the point they are attempting to make is rather than putting your butt in the street you should simply go directly to the creek a deposit directly? That way you are cutting out the middle man! In all seriousness folks:

  1. With “environmentalists” like this, who needs enemies?
  2. I fail to see why bar owners cannot, will not fund such an initiative out of their own pockets? I mean, it is not like they’re not experiencing a downturn in business or anything. Bars must be doing a nice clip of business. Why else would north Brooklyn have so damned many of them?
  3. I am certain those who were engaged in the lawsuit from whose settlement the North Brooklyn Boat Club received funding for this sterling endeavor are gonna be thrilled to see this.

 

New York Shitty Video Du Jour: Live From Manhattan Avenue

June 24, 2014 ·
Filed under: 11222, Greenpoint, Greenpoint Brooklyn, Greenpoint Magic, Wow, WTF 

Incident1

Rubber Gloves

incident2


wheres levin NYSNote the fellow walking and texting the whole time. Oblivious.

Where’s Levin?

You ask? For what it was/is worth he was spotted at McCarren Park the same day this was filmed. Someone even took a photo. Our City Councilman asked if it was going to be part of New York Shitty’s “Where’s Levin” call for Greenpoint spottings (and, technically, McCarren Park is located in Greenpoint). She said no. Regardless, it’s nice to know you have a following.

The source material for my snow globes never stops! Imagine if every person in this community who was mentally disturbed and/or engaging in disorderly conduct— while white and affluent— got such “attention”…