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Being a child of the 70′s, I grew up in a very mod, mod, world: white carpet, white shag rugs, white furniture, glass-top tables and lotsa, lotsa chrome. I suspect this is why my interior decoration style is one part Pee Wee’s Playhouse mixed with one part Kurt Schwitter’s Merzbau. Chateau de Ghetto is [...] Miss Heather Santa Claus doesn’t come to Greenpoint anymore. This task was delegated to middle management after Santa jack-knifed his sled on a pile of icy dog shit and borscht-laden vodka vomit on McGuinness Boulevard in 1998. He broke his coccyx and no amount of Viagra or Levitra could redress the injuries he sustained— much to [...] The pay sucks but there are many fringe benefits to being the Dog Shit Queen of Greenpoint. The hours are pretty good, as are the working conditions: Chateau de Ghetto has no dress code to speak of, there are no annoying co-workers to contend with and drinking on the job is perfectly acceptable— if [...] Two days ago something remarkable happened at Chateau de Ghetto: actual professionals were spotted on the premises doing plumbing work in my neighbor’s apartment. I even saw them dragging a dysfunctional toilet down the stairway. Un-be-fucking-lievable. I am not so naive as to think that my landlord (or the Stupor) was behind this [...] I had an exceptionally difficult time writing yesterday’s post. This was not due to a mental block or anything of that nature, mind you; my Internet connection was very, very sluggish. I cannot count the number of times I lost copy-edits because my connection timed out. This was more than a little infuriating. [...] Not unlike a chihuahua, I am a diminuative, nervous and noisy creature who has no reluctance whatsoever starting shit with someone twice my size. I have done so often and the “Joe Six-pack” on the receiving end of my verbal wrath usually just stands there like a slack-jawed idiot. Go figure. The best I [...] Yesterday I set forth with my trusty digital camera and documented the shit-laden apocalyptic wasteland that Green Street has become. After asserting in this post that development has precipitated a deluge dog shit, I decided to put my theory to the test. The Dog Shit Queen of Greenpoint is not one to state [...] When I saw the following at 144 Franklin Street today two words came to mind (after the requisite What the fuck?): anal probe. It makes sense that extra-terrestrials would troll this neighborhood for research subjects. The more colorful citizens here drop trou in public with disquieting regularity anyway, so why not “catch them [...] Foolishly, I thought my block being razed to build craptastic condos would abate the proliferation of dog shit some. I gotta tell you; this assumption certainly made an ass out of me! It’s only gotten worse. Nowadays it’s getting more and more difficult to dodge the stuff. With my “workload” doubled (tripled?), the task [...] |
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