For those of you who like to piss on flowers, this man’s products may be of interest to you. I for one like the California Poppy Urinal. I’d pay cold hard cash to see the Governator piss into that badass motherfucker.
Miss Heather
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(…if I have jam in my pants) After tossing and turning all night, I attempted to operate on four hours sleep (and two cups of coffee) today. My morning consisted of doing two loads of laundry and scouting the far north end of Manhattan Avenue for dog shit. Between the two previous tasks I [...] I found this pile of puddin’ poo at 1075 Manhattan Avenue last night. My husband and I were taking a couple of friends to the Acapulco Restaurant for dinner. They kept walking as I took the above photo, so I had to run to catch up with them. It would be a crime [...] I’ll be upfront: my responsibilities as The Dog Shit Queen of Greenpoint are such that I do not cannot keep track of what our local hipster population is up to nowadays. Thankfully, the Idiotarod was brought to my attention I rode the L train last Saturday. What these peeps lacked in presentation was [...] Last Friday my husband asked me what I wanted to do for Valentine’s Day. I told him that I honestly not giventhe matter any thought. My peculiarly macho temperment is perplexed by sentimentality (and other such slop). My husband learned this the first (and only time) he brought me flowers. I tried to [...] For those of you who have ever wondered how I can stomach chasing dog shit, I would like you to meet Frances. I have been the custodian of this cat for 13 years. She is arguably the filthiest feline I have ever encountered in my life. “But cats are supposed to be graceful [...] A couple of days ago I found this on the way to the supermarket. It pissed me off. A LOT. I must have yelled at my husband over the phone about this item for at least 10 minutes. This is something I rarely do: usually when I bark at my husband it is [...] I found the above UBER rat on Mott Street last weekend. Appropriately enough, he and his companion grace a storefront occupied by an exterminator. If the purpose of these Bens-on-steroids is to invoke fear in my person (and move me to make a date to implement the final solution of rat-kind), it fails [...] Perhaps it was my encounter with a subway masturbator at Queensboro Plaza (and the five hour layover at the Queens County HQ of the Transit Police needed to prosecute him)? OR the crackheaded driver that plowed into me and my two buddies while crossing 46th Street (RIGHT BEFORE MY WEDDING and being told that [...] I have often wondered why there is so much dog shit on Dupont Street. Of all the blocks in my part of the ‘hood, Dupont is by and far the worst when it comes to crap. It’s fucking gross. My initial theory was that dog owners were letting their canines crap with total abandon [...] |
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