2007 Crap Map

February 6, 2007 ·
Filed under: Crap Map, Dog Shit, Dung of the Day 

1086 Manhattan Avenue

After taking some time off to recuperate from having company, this morning I bundled up, wandered into the living room and sorted some shit.

My latest route took me to Manhattan Avenue between Green Street and Newton Creek.

Route

Not only did I find plenty of crap, but I discovered that an ice cream shop is slated for 97 Commercial Street (the former location of Bleu Drawes). This does not strike me as the most appropriate business venture to pursue this time of year, but then again at least it isn’t (yet) another bank or Thai restaurant. This ‘hood needs more pad Thai as much as it needs more dog shit: both are already in overabundance in my not-so-humble opinion.

Anyhoo, after becoming better acquainted with the vagaries of Flickr Maps (READ: I broke down and followed the directions), I have added my latest finds to my 2007 Crap Map. I have also reorganized a number of my photos so the newer readers among you can parse through my “Backdoor Crapstavaganza“: a photo diary of stuff my neighbors throw out their window. After a four month dry spell, I finally found a new item to add to it this week.

Enjoy!

Miss Heather

P.S.: After some serious thought, I have decided to (somewhat) reverse my “no profit” stance regarding this blog. I am of the opinion that “Mr. Poopyhead” mugs (and possibly t-shirts) bibs, doggie coats and thong underwear need to be made available to the general public. I am currently investigating ways to make this happen.

Holiday Special

February 5, 2007 ·
Filed under: Greenpoint Magic 

G is for Gack

Anyone who has lived in Greenpoint long enough will tell you that acknowledging the passage of time is strictly optional. Most of the residents here don’t. This is hardly surprising given:

  1. the retinue of old drunks who grace the intersection of Manhattan Avenue and Greenpoint Avenue on any given day. These men probably haven’t had a sober moment since Perestroika and they would just as well keep it that way. They’re going to keep on partying like it’s 1989.
  2. the seriously ‘retro’ fashion sensibility the Polish ladies espouse (and the boutiques that service their needs). Just like Jackie O, there is a certain timeless quality to the Polish woman: her clothes were just as unfashionable in 1985 (when they were undoubtedly manufacturered) as they are today. I do not want to give the impression that I take issue with this, dear readers. I rather like it.Ivana TrumpskiSpeaking as a woman whose UNcoolness and advanced age (and by ‘advanced age’, I mean over 30) is it made clear to her on a regular basis, I find Polish women (such as the one shown above), rather comforting. You can rest assured the rear view of this woman is a mere crumb compared to glory to be beheld from the front. Among other things, her jacket was left open so as to showcase two Miss Krakow ca. 1967 snack trays lovingly swaddled in Lycra.

    Contrary to what some Bedford Avenue hipsturd will tell you, getting older is not a crime. Wearing shitty fashion dating around the time of your own birth (and thinking it is cool) is. That’s why I like this woman; she is a walking, talking “Fuck You” in the face of youth. And if you 20-something year old nubiles don’t want to look at some fierce AARP cleavage— move!

  3. The fact that most of the holiday paraphernalia here has yet to be taken down —and I doubt it ever will be. In Greenpoint the party never stops.

And if that means I will continue finding stuff like this well into next fall, it’ll be one very happy New Year for me indeed!

I didn’t know Santa’s workshop made such toys. Needless to say I am going to be a lot more adventurous when I sit on his lap this year. No wonder Mrs. Claus is so damned happy: she doesn’t live at the North Pole: she sits on it!

Miss Heather