Something Cool to Check Out This Weekend: Strands

August 31, 2007 ·
Filed under: Greenpoint Magic 

Strands Web Site

This just came to my attention today and it sounds pretty neat. Per the artist’s web site:

Strands, a video installation by Dillon de Give, on view from 8/31 – 9/10/07, is located at points on Manhattan and Meserole Aves in Greenpoint, Brooklyn, NYC. The project seeks to illustrate a taxonomy of life and time on a local as well as galactic scale. The title of the piece refers to the subject of the videos: groups of multicolored filaments observed under the force of moving air or wind, and alludes to string theory and the romance of deriving an explanation of rules that govern existence under all circumstances.

Individual videos are unexpectedly set on monitors in neighborhood establishments (a laundromat, an electronics store, and a florist). The establishments serve as a lens for the work and the work, reminiscent of Rorschach inkblots, creates a psychologically subjective pocket within the establishment. Dillon de Give is a video artist, playwright, and filmmaker living in Greenpoint.

Follows is a breakdown of where and when you can view these installations with directions:

Directions

Strands 0
The origin of the cycle
Explosion of species from point zero

Wash and Dry Laundromat
120 Meserole Ave, 7:30am – 8:30pm daily.

Strands 1
The present confusion in time
Violence for décor

M T V Super Sound Electronics & Appliances

747 Manhattan Ave, 11am – 8pm M-Sat. Sunday 11am – 6pm.

Strands 2
The future seed
Consciousness hidden in discipline

Greenpoint Floral Co.
703 Manhattan Ave. 9am – 7pm M-Sat., Sunday 11am – 4pm.

I think it is incredibly cool that three local businesses volunteered to participate in this installation. I will definitely check it out …and you should too! For more details, click on either of the above images and you will be directed to Dillon de Give’s web site, implausibot.com.

Miss Heather

P.S.: Those of you with less conventional tastes should swing by the junk shop and check out my latest opus, The Twollar.

The Twoller

As you can clearly see, it has been well received.

Dog Shit Diva Fit

August 30, 2007 ·
Filed under: Crappy Customer Cavalcade 

28 days.

Every 28 days I wake up and wonder why I feel like shit.

Every 28 days I rummage for feminine hygiene products only to find that after the last 28th day I forgot to buy them. Damn.

Every 28 days I am one angry-ass bitch.

Guess what?

The Executive Washroom

Today is day 28!

I head down to the junk shop and discover that my “area” was thoroughly wrecked. This pissed me off to no end. While usually very territorial in nature, I do not harbor the least bit of imperialist ambition to overtake the junk store. It would be too much work. Rather, all I seek is to have my ten square feet of shelf space left alone. Was it left alone? No it wasn’t. It was trashed.

JESUS FUCKING CHRIST!

That’s how I announced my arrival to work today. And this outburst pretty much sums up my entire day.

4 1/2 hours of men ordering me around like I was their maid:

  • Hey lady, I want…
  • Hey lady, how much for this?
  • HEY WOMAN, I want this and this and this… (pointing to items stowed away on shelves well beyond my reach. Even with a ladder.) I’m goin’ the the ATM. “The manager knows me.” he said. “Yeah, fuck you.” I thought.

Machismo.

4 1/2 hours of me saying “EXCUSE ME?” whenever one of the aforementioned cretins spoke to me in a manner I found disrespectful. I gave them a blank stare until they:

  • shut up
  • said “please”
  • or “thank you”

4 1/2 hours of cursing under my breath while picking up:

  • spit balls
  • various repulsive items (a wad of chewed gum adhered to a pair of nail clippers was by far my favorite) because I couldn’t take it anymore.

I am the Dog Shit Queen of Greenpoint. In this capacity I preside over all things shitty, be they located in Greenpoint or elsewhere. I am not a receptacle designed to collect piss and shit from the incontinent asses of babies (of all ages). If I was, that would make me a diaper. And a diaper diva I am decidedly not. I care not to be the Maria Callas of crap collecting.

Today I was the receptacle for a number incontinent assholes. I did not like it the least bit, either. If these men want someone to wipe their asses, they should call their mothers. Or a diaper diva. Not me.

Miss Heather

Photo Credit: Miss Heather

The above photo is of the bathroom at the junk shop. Here are a few more pix…

Left View

Left view.

Right View

Right View: where the garbage can used to be. But its memory remains.

Meet Mr. Belvedere

August 30, 2007 ·
Filed under: Crazy People, Greenpoint Magic 

This chap is one of the more recent commenters to grace my humble blog— and I’m glad he did. He’s friggin’ hilarious. Follows is a story from bklyn-genealogy-info he was kind enough to share with me recently. Enjoy!

RABBIT’S FOOT SAVED HIS LIFE , SAYS JUMPER

But Clotheslines and Alcohol Figure in Adventure

‘A rabbit’s foot saved me,’ maintains Joseph SEKULSKI, 32, of 193 Russell street, who is in Kings County Hospital to-day suffering from lacerations, contusions and abrasions of the body, possible concussion of the brain and a severe case of alcoholism. Joseph was intoxicated last night, police say, and in his inebriated condition he visited Mr. and Mrs. JACOBSEN, who live on the third floor of a six-story apartment at 172 Greenpoint avenue. When the time came to bid good-bye to his friends, Joseph decided to quickest way out was via the window.

On the way down Joseph struck four clotheslines, bouncing from one to the other. He crashed through the wooden cellar cover and lay there in a semi-conscious condition. Patrolman John MAHONEY was summoned from Greenpoint station and on arriving at the scene Joseph demanded of him where he was. ‘You’re still in the land of the living,’ replied MAHONEY. Ambulance Surgeon GARDENER of Greenpoint Hospital arrived and said Joseph’s most serious ailment was alcoholism.

He insists that his rabbit’s foot performed its traditional voodoo.

*speechless*

Miss Heather

More McGuinness Merde

August 30, 2007 ·
Filed under: Dog Shit, Dung of the Day 

ZUUL!

The first thought that crossed my mind when I saw these piles of puddin’ was “Gee, whoever passed this bowel movement wasn’t feeling well.”

The next thought that crossed my mind was “HOW THE HELL DID YOU GET OUT OF MY REFRIGERATOR!?! GO HOME!!!“.

Miss Heather

P.S.: You know, the apocalypse would never get enough traction to start in Greenpoint. No one would even notice.

P.S.#2: Anyone remember when someone found a rocket launcher on the Greenpoint side of the Pulaski Bridge several years ago? That was the talk of the town for weeks, yet I cannot find a single story about it online. Hmm…

The Pay Phones of Greenpoint

August 30, 2007 ·
Filed under: Greenpoint Magic 

Yesterday I found an injured pay phone that stand head(less) and shoulders above its peers.

Nassau Avenue Pay Phone

The duct tape is a nice touch. Given the propensity most people have for talking at each other nowadays, this device may very well be cutting edge technology. It is certainly a must-have for CB enthusiasts. 10-4.

Another pay phone I found of interest is located on McGuinness Boulevard.

McGuinness Boulevard Pay Phone

Gravity isn’t what’s keeping that Dunkin Donuts napkin on the receiver. It’s adhered to it.

Miss Heather

Anyone want a vermin-free couch?

August 29, 2007 ·
Filed under: Greenpoint Magic 

Greenpoint Avenue Couch

If so, head over to Greenpoint Avenue (between Manhattan Avenue and McGuinness Boulevard) and pick it up.

I’m not infested!

On top of being 100% free (no cash money required), it also purports to be bereft of bedbugs. WHAT A DEAL!

Miss Heather

Specs For the Upcoming Fundraiser at the Greenpoint Public Library

August 29, 2007 ·
Filed under: Area 51 

As I promised in this post, here they are:

THE GREENPOINT 100 is a small works show and art benefit for the Greenpoint branch of the Brooklyn Public Library, where all the work will be sold to benefit the branch’s programs. We’re looking for artists who live or work in GREENPOINT, BROOKLYN, to donate work- it’s a very worthwhile cause, and as added incentive we’re bringing in some great gallerists and critics to jury the show and award a cash prize, so it’s great exposure for artists who do decide to donate.

CALL FOR ARTISTS:

The Greenpoint 100: Friends of the Greenpoint Library Artists’ Benefit
September 15th, 2007 11:00am – 2:30pm
Brooklyn Public Library Greenpoint Branch
107 Norman Avenue at Leonard Street, Brooklyn NY 11222

The Friends of the Brooklyn Public Library’s Greenpoint Branch invites 100 Greenpoint artists to participate in a juried, one-day exhibition of small works which will be sold to benefit the branch. This is a worthwhile opportunity for our local emerging artists to display their work and have it reviewed by arts professionals. The proceeds from the sale will be used for community-requested improvements like children’s area maintenance, as well as the acquisition of much-needed, up-to-date new materials.

Grand Prize: $100 cash
(2) Runner-up prizes: to be announced

Jurors:

Leah Stuhltrager: Founder and co-director, Dam Stuhltrager Gallery – Dam Stuhltrager, founded in 1998, is an original charter member of the Williamsburg Gallery Association and one of the most ascendant galleries in the area. Its artists have been featured in major
exhibitions including Art Basel, Contemporary Istanbul, and the Museum of Art and Design. Dam Stuhltrager has had extensive coverage in both mainstream and contemporary art publications such as Artforum, NPR, The Village Voice, Rhizome.org and Esquire.

James Wagner and Barry Hoggard: Critics, curators and editors of ArtCal (www.ArtCal.net) – Well-respected art and political bloggers James Wagner (jameswagner.com) and Barry Hoggard (bloggy.com) publish ArtCal, an unabashedly opinionated openings and exhibitions guide focusing on underknown galleries and artists. James and Barry are often integral to the exposure of new talent and have been featured in Art and America, ArtKrush, The Brooklyn Rail, Art+Auction, and more.

SUBMISSION PROCEDURES:

As we are focusing on the community, *YOU MUST BE AN ARTIST LIVING OR WORKING IN GREENPOINT* to participate. There is no fee to submit, however please be aware that your work is a donation to raise funds for the library.

We are looking for 2-dimensional works in all mediums (MAX SIZE 11×14 inches), and some small freestanding sculpture. All work will be sold for $25 each.

WE ARE ONLY ACCEPTING THE FIRST 100 ARTISTS WHO MEET THE CRITERIA, so soon as possible, please email us your:

NAME
ADDRESS
EMAIL ADDRESS
PHONE NUMBER
and a small jpeg of the work, (or a similar representative work if you plan on making a specific piece for the sale)

EMAIL CONTACT INFORMATION AND JPEG TO: friendsofthegreenpointlibrary (at) gmail.com

- If you are one of the first 100 qualified artists to respond to the call, you will receive a reply with an ID number from 1-100, and the address of where your work must be mailed or delivered.

- Your work must be labeled on the back (or bottom of sculptures) with your ID number and contact information.

- Accepted artists’ work must be received by FRIDAY, SEPTEMBER 14th to be included in the exhibit.

- All unsold work must be picked up in person at the close of the event, by 3pm on Saturday, September 15th.

- Although the utmost care will be taken with the pieces on exhibit, The Brooklyn Public Library and the Friends Group will not be held responsible for the damage to, or loss of, any artwork donated to the branch and/or remaining on the premises after the event.

Good Luck!

Miss Heather

UPDATE: In case you are wondering, I have submitted something and it was accepted (I’m number 39). Wanna know what it is? If so, click here.

The Sensuous Greenpointer

August 29, 2007 ·
Filed under: Greenpoint Magic 

Although I do my most to keep away from the following locality, I would like to tender my sincerest condolences to the fine people of Park Slope regarding the loss of Maggie Moo’s. One woman’s (READ: MY) vision of a brightly lit (and very hot) crotchling-ridden hellhole is another woman’s paradise.

If it’s any consolation, the Brooklyn Ice Cream Factory over on Commercial Street has yet to open— much to the consternation of my ice cream-craving taste buds. Good thing we have The Corner Frenzy on Huron Street (which is quite delicious and affordable, by the way). But I digress…

Every cloud has a silver brown lining… and sometimes it is quite delicious! As I discovered on West Street today.

Body Butter

Keep a stiff upper lip my fellow Brooklynites to the south! You may have lost your ice cream venue of choice, but chocolate topping can be poured on other things. Use your imagination.

Great on Ice Cream

But please use protection, the last thing your ‘hood needs is more fucking strollers.

Miss Heather

If anyone from the Department of Buildings is reading this…

August 29, 2007 ·
Filed under: Area 51 

48 Box Street

You might want to go down to 48 Box Street because despite having multiple Stop Work Orders, they are (as of 1:00 p.m. today) working.

Workers working

These are workers.

Guy Standing on Ledge

This is a worker standing precariously close to a ledge six stories up in the air. Personally this strikes me as being a little dangerous, but I guess this would be small potatoes to a contractor/developer who has been cited for:

FAILURE TO PROPERLY STORE COMBUSTIBLE MATERIAL & EQUIPMENT.

Miss Heather

P.S.: I am still awaiting an answer from you regarding Belvedere Realty’s advertecture at 609 Manhattan Avenue. Perhaps the reason you let this eyesore persist in pissing me off is the same reason you see fit to issue their site at 150 Java Street variances permitting them to work Saturdays despite repeat complaints from their neighbors about their less-than-professional conduct?

154 West Street: FEDDERIZED!

August 29, 2007 ·
Filed under: Articles of Fedderization 

I walked by this house last Sunday and was instantly transported to the south of France…

154 West Street

Then the din of weekend construction jolted me back to reality. I am not in Marseilles: I am in Greenpoint. Slather this bitch with some stucco and the process of Fedderization will be complete!

Second Doorway, 154 West Street

Cast concrete. Yummy.

I wonder if they’ll be working this (holiday) weekend as well? I can hardly wait to swing by and find out! I’ll be sure to bring along my trusty camera as well…

Miss Heather