Give Us A Movie House

October 23, 2007 ·
Filed under: Greenpoint Magic 

No More Banks

I took the above picture just over a year ago. Not only was I amused by what this person wrote, I agreed: Greenpoint does not need any more banks and yes, a movie theater would be an excellent addition to the neighborhood. What did we end up getting when all was said and done? Another god damned bank.

My sole consolation is the Bank of America (the site where the above photo was taken) and Citibank seem to be pretty popular places for the local homeless population to conduct their business— and by “business” I mean going to the bathroom and having sex. I would love to see the surveillance camera footage from these establishments. I bet it is hilarious, but I digress.

The perverse irony is Greenpoint once had six movies theaters. Yes, six. Here they are were in order from south to north.

  1. Nassau Theatre (now The Princess Manor)
    88 Nassau Avenue
  2. Winthrop Theater (demolished)
    135 Driggs Avenue
  3. Meserole Theatre (now Eckerd’s, I think Rite Aid)
    723 Manhattan Avenue
  4. RKO Greenpoint (demolished)
    825 Manhattan Avenue
  5. American Theater (then Chopin Theater, now Starbucks)
    910 Manhattan Avenue
  6. Midway Theater (demolished)
    1059 Manhattan Avenue

The following story from the December 10, 1929 edition of the New York Times is about one of these establishments: the long gone RKO Greenpoint. Enjoy!

December 12, 1929 NYTimes

The above tale gives us a(nother) splendid reason for wanting a movie theater: they prevent crime. I see a letter campaign to the mayor coming around the corner folks!

Miss Heather

Scapee The Black Cat Has ‘Scaped!

October 22, 2007 ·
Filed under: Area 51, Williamsburg 

It has come to my attention that “Scapee” the cat has, in keeping with her name, escaped.

Scapee’s e’scaped!

I found the above flyer at Rodney Street and South First this weekend. Anyone who has seen Scapee should contact her custodians at the above telephone number. She is sorely missed.

Miss Heather

Upcoming Events this Halloween-ish Week

October 22, 2007 ·
Filed under: Area 51 

In keeping with the Halloween season there are a slew of interesting events coming up this week. Follows are a few of them.

Spoonbill & Sugartown Booksellers will be hosting a reading of New York Calling Wednesday, October 24, at 7:00 p.m. Luc Sante (the author of the fantastic book Lowlife) is schedule to appear. I am making it a point to check this out, you should too.

Spoonbill & Sugartown
218 Bedford Avenue
Brooklyn, New York 11211
(718) 387-7322

Next up, political cartoonist David Rees (author/illustrator of Get Your War On) will be giving a presentation of his cartoons (including brand new, yet-to-be-published material!) at Word Books Friday, October 26, at 7:30 p.m. For more details check out Word’s web site or shoot them an email at info (at) wordbrooklyn (dot) com.

Word Books
126 Franklin Street
Brooklyn, New York 11222
(718) 383-0096

Mexican wedding shirt enthusiasts (and the booze hounds who love them) will probably be more interested in attending Huizilli’s Grand Opening Preview/Cocktail Party the same evening (Friday, October 26). Festivities are set to start at 6:00 p.m. and conclude at 10:00 p.m. For more information, give them a call at (718) 701-3195 or (718) 687-2278. They have some seriously cool and crazy stuff. Check it out!

Huitzilli
624 Metropolitan Avenue (Lorimer stop of the L)
Brooklyn, New York 11211
www.huitzilli.com

Saturday, October 27, The City Reliquary will be hosting its “Haunted Halloween Backyard Bash” from 6:00 – 10:00 p.m. Per their press release:

There will be a pumpkin carving contest!

There will be fun games with sugary prizes!

There will be homemade Halloween treats!

There will be IMPENDING DOOM in the Haunted Forest!

I think I’ll skip the “impending doom” part in favor of savoring the flavor of the aforementioned “homemade Halloween treats”. Those who are interested in entering the pumpkin carving contest need to their bring your own pumpkins and it should be noted the donning of costumes is encouraged.

The City Reliquary
370 Metropolitan Avenue
Brooklyn, New York 11211
www.cityreliquary.org

Halloween Flyer, District Dog

Dapper dogs (and the owners who dress them) will be interested to know District Dog will be throwing a Halloween Party at the McGolrick Park dog run Sunday, October 26, starting at 1:00 p.m. A number of contests will be held, including: World’s Strongest Dog, Funniest Costume, Scariest Costume, Best Trick, and of course, Best Costume. They will even have a doggie agility course where your pup can strut his (or her) stuff!

District Dog
142 Driggs Avenue
Brooklyn New York 11222
www.districtdog.com

Lastly Lokal, Greenpoint’s first and only Mediterranean Bistro is open for business. Per the owner, they are currently offering a limited “opening” menu of foodstuffs. A full menu is slated to roll out the first week of November.

Lokal
905 Lorimer St
Brooklyn, NY 11222
(718) 384-6777

And, as Porky Pig frequently (and sagely) said:

That’s all folks!

Miss Heather

154 West Street Revisited

October 22, 2007 ·
Filed under: Articles of Fedderization, Greenpoint Magic 

Wishing to enjoy this weekend’s unseasonably warm weather, I decided to go for a walk. Uncharacteristically, my husband said he wanted to join me. I advised him that I was going to a bunch of places he didn’t care for (clothes shopping), but he insisted upon tagging along anyway. So off we went— with the usual detour or four so as to check out some of the more hideous development “projects” which pock my neighborhood.

I hadn’t checked in on 154 West Street in awhile, so we swung by to see how they were progressing. True to form, there was some kind of activity going on inside. Exactly what it was, I do not know.

154 West Street

As you can see, the Fedderization process is almost complete. I for one find the addition of faux period detailing charming, especially since it is not in proper proportion to the rest of the building. Sadly, the owner went with brown stucco. While in keeping with my prognostication that stucco will supplant vinyl siding in the Garden Spot, it would have been nice if he had opted for a different color. Pink, orange or mint green would have been nice. West Street has enough “brown” as is. Most of it resides on the sidewalk and is of canine origin.

Next, I spied a stray cat through a hole in the fence on the adjacent lot. I like cats, so I took a peek. That’s when I found this.

Garbage on adjacent lot

I have seen the workers jettison garbage onto this lot on more than one occasion. That said, I was still surprised by how much of it has accumulated. Too bad the entity owns the adjacent parcel of property appears to have abandoned it. There are few things I like more than watching two developers having a litigation slug-fest.

As my husband and I were preparing to depart, were heard a man shout:

You taking pictures of my building?

It was the owner of 154 West Street. He was not at all upset, if anything he seemed to be amused. This is sort of ironic given I found something very amusing about his building. It was the placement of the air conditioner boxes he saw fit to install.

Friedrich Boxes

Think about it for a minute: if this building is like many others in Greenpoint (and New York City), the lot for 154 West Street ends at the above wall. If this is true, those A/C boxes are on 150 West Street’s property. Wouldn’t be fun if the owner of 150 finally found the wherewithal to do something with this rather sizable and prime piece of real estate? If he (or she) did, his neighbor to the north would be a prime candidate for a triple Fedderdectomy.

Miss Heather

The Greenpoint Monitor Museum

October 22, 2007 ·
Filed under: Greenpoint Magic 

No, I am not talking about that Monitor Museum. Rather, I am referring to the rapid proliferation of monitors in this tree pit on McGuinness Boulevard. When I walked by this location October 19, there was but a solitary Mac.

Mac Hating on McGuinness Boulevard

A little over 48 hours later, however, I noticed the curator of this open air museum saw fit to diversify his (or her) collection with the addition of a P.C.

Greenpoint’s Other Monitor Museum

Or is that two P.C.s? Truth be told, it is kind of hard to tell.

Those of your who wish to make a donation to Greenpoint’s other Monitor Museum can take your (non-tax deductible) ‘contribution’ to the tree pit south of Freeman Street on McGuinness Boulevard. Macs and P.C.s are equally welcome. Upon receipt our highly trained panel of experts will ensure your generous gift is fucked up beyond all recognition.

Miss Heather

Peace on Franklin Street

October 21, 2007 ·
Filed under: Greenpoint Magic 

Peace on Franklin Street

This can be seen on Franklin between Green and Freeman Street.

Miss Heather

Happenings at 209 1/2 Eckford Street

October 21, 2007 ·
Filed under: Greenpoint Magic 

Saturday was one of those days when my husband and I could not agree on anything. Even the route for walking to Grand Street was the source of much debate. I wanted to use Kent Avenue, Mr. Heather preferred Diamond or Newel Street. My being pretty adamant about avoiding Karl Fischer’s giant green monstrosity forced us to reach a compromise: Eckford Street.

This street too has its fair share of eyesores, but for whatever reason I seem to find them a little more tolerable than their companions to the east. In fact, I find Crater Lake hilarious in its own dark way. But back to my story.

When we reached 209 1/2 Eckford, arguably one of the ugliest sights on this street, I noticed something was amiss.

209 A Eckford Street

Intrigued, I went in for a closer look.

Bridge Realty

Bridge Realty, part of the unholy alliance that has blessed Greenpoint with such monuments to fine architecture and good taste as Belvedere I (through infinity), has been performing a little work on this “fixer-upper”.

209 A Eckford Stairs

Slip shod work.

Hole

Is that hole supposed to be there? Just curious.

And in keeping with the pervasive atmosphere of lawlessness that is the Greenpoint development feeding frenzy, the previous came to pass without the issuance or posting of the appropriate permits.

209 A Eckford DOB BIS

But the story does not end here, dear readers. No sir. Upon crossing Norman Avenue— which is only a short distance from 209 1/2 Eckford Street, I beheld something I have only seen in Greenpoint twice before. Excited, I immediately started taking pictures of my discovery. My husband even tore himself away from futzing around with his new cell phone to see what the subject of all my fuss and photography was.

DOBmobile

Me: Sam, this is the third time I have seen one of these cars! It’s like seeing Bigfoot, Sasquatch or the Yeti! I wonder what it is doing here?
Sam: Maybe the guy lives here?

Excellent point. The driver of this car may very well live in Greenpoint. It’s not like he (or she) performs much (if any) work here.

Miss Heather

Greenpoint’s Very Own Imperial Storm Trooper

October 20, 2007 ·
Filed under: Greenpoint Magic 

Like most people who were born in the 1970’s, I was raised on the Star Wars Trilogy. The REAL Star War Trilogy, that is. Not the recent trio of clap trap whose sole purpose for creation seems to be fleecing and disappointing the movie-going public.

I always found the Deathstar to be particularly fascinating. Not unlike Randal from the movie Clerks, I still find myself asking a lot of questions about what it would be like to be under the employ of the Emperor and stroll the corridors of this stylishly evil space station. For example:

Did Darth Vader offer a 401-K?

Were the storm troopers given an allowance so they could Simonize their helmets?

Did Robert Scarano design the Deathstar?

And most important of all in this day of OHSA:

Was the Deathstar a smoke-free workplace?

I do not know the answers for the first three questions, but I did learn the answer to the latter-most one. This very evening on Franklin Street, no less.

Franklin Street Storm Trooper

No.

Who knew Greenpoint was the destination of choice for furloughed storm troopers? Then again, since the Garden Spot has the dubious honor of being one of the most vice-ridden neighborhoods in Brooklyn, maybe makes them feel more at home? Smoke ‘em if you got ‘em boys! We won’t judge you.

Miss Heather

More Subway Poster Fun on the Crosstown Local

October 20, 2007 ·
Filed under: Greenpoint Magic 

(Or: “G” stands for giving it to the man)

I do not leave Greenpoint much nowadays for the simple reason I do not need to; I live and work here. Last night I left the confines of the Garden Spot to behold the Shit Crawler in all its super-sized projected glory in SoHo. This journey required that I ride the G train.

As my husband and I waited on the Smith – 9th Street bound platform, I beheld this newest bit of Greenpoint subway poster graffiti.

Up, Up, and Up Yours!

I chattered and giggled to myself as I shutter-bugged the shit out of this poster. This is one of the most hilarious modifications to a subway poster I have seen in quite a while. So simple, yet so effective. The police officer who happened to be walking by as I took the above photograph appeared to agree: he was laughing his ass off.

Die for Exxon

On the way home I spied the above sullen morsel of revolt at the Nassau Avenue platform of the Queens-bound G. Earlier in the evening I had mentioned to my husband that I found the use of the word “commitments” in these advertisements amusing. Whenever this word is invoked the first thing I think of being committed.

To an insane asylum.

Miss Heather

Someone on Provost Street Needs to Walk The Dogs

October 19, 2007 ·
Filed under: Dog Shit Signage, Greenpoint Magic 

Provost Street Scrawling

…according to one very angry person sporting a Sharpie marker he does, anyway. I wonder if the person who wrote this is the same serial vandal who used to scrawl Kill this fucken tyrant Bush now! on the subway posters at the Nassau Avenue stop of the G? I can only hope so. God I miss that guy…

Miss Heather