Bed-Stuy Rolls Out Their Three “R’s”

February 27, 2008 ·
Filed under: Bed-Stuy 

It has often been said that the children are our future. Albeit trite sounding this is in fact true; we can best safeguard our future by preparing the youngsters of today for the challenges they will face as adults. The problem is that no one seems to agree upon what the aforementioned preparation entails. Hence endless tests and statistics are employed to measure a student’s “progress”. I may not be getting any younger, but I sure as hell do not envy today’s children. Theirs is a brave new world I cannot begin to comprehend.

For example:

David Ruggles

This David Ruggles Elementary School. Not unlike Iraq, this institution is comprised of numerous “zones”.

Drug Free Zone

First off, you have the “drug free” zone.

Success Zone

Then you have the:

  • reading zone
  • word zone
  • spelling zone and
  • success zone.

“Sheesh, that sure is a lot of zones” I thought to myself when I gazed upon the above window “but what about the arithmetic zone? How can one possibly succeed in life without knowing his (or her) numbers?” Then I proceeded around the corner and learned everything was under control.


You know what? Methinks this younger generation is going to turn out just fine. In fact, I can even tell you who wrote the above rhyming couplet: in 40 years we’ll be calling him Mr. President.

Miss Heather

Bushwick Photo du Jour: The Right to Remain Silent

February 27, 2008 ·
Filed under: Bushwick 

You have the right

From a Wilson Avenue mailbox.

Miss Heather

48 Box Street Keeps On Trucking

February 27, 2008 ·
Filed under: Greenpoint Magic 

Despite a Stop Work Order* and expired permits 48 Box Street is coming along quite nicely.

48 Box Street 2/2008

February 2008

48 Box Street 1/10/08 1:45 pm

January 2008

Open for business!

October 2007

Yeah, the Department of Buildings is totally on top of this situation.

Bricklayers a laying!

October 2007

That Stop Work Order really did the trick. Seriously.

Workers working

August 2007

Unfortunately the folks at 48 Box Street do not take the Department of Buildings. Seriously.

Way to go Ms. Lancaster! I hope you will see fit to feature this shit heap of intransigence (yours and theirs) on your curricula vitae.


Miss Heather

P.S.: Check out the open ECB violations for this site, they’re a hoot!

*Issued April 7, 2007.

Go Go Greenpoint!

February 26, 2008 ·
Filed under: Crazy People, Greenpoint Magic 

As I was coming home from doing a little grocery shopping this morning I picked up a copy of the Greenpoint Courier. Boy, am I glad I did. Not only did our former porter make it to the paper, but he got top billing to boot!

Greenpoint Courier, 2/22/08

In the crime blotter, that is. Current and soon-to-be Green Street residents (you hear me out there, 110 Green?) will be pleased to know that Mr. Castano (presumably sans the aforementioned alleged “metal object”) is out of the hoosegow and has resumed loitering at the above-mentioned intersection.

It just goes to show that Greenpoint is indeed gentrifying at an alarming rate: just a few years ago we could only afford to punch people with empty fists.

Miss Heather

P.S.: A New York Shitty reader and commenter, Donjii, just brought this gem from Metro New York to my attention.

Burning incense was singeing the bedsheets, he said. “There was feces all over him, and he started fighting me”

You can always count on the good ol’ Greenpoint Hotel to keep it real in the Garden Spot!


February 26, 2008 ·
Filed under: Greenpoint Magic 


I recently made the acquaintance of a very nice woman named Rebecca who works for this organization. I have long wanted to learn what Booklyn was about. After voicing my interest via email she was more than happy to indulge my curiosity by taking me on a little tour. My conclusion: this place is pretty damned neat. Follows are some highlights.

The Slapdown

Booklyn is an artist-run non-profit organization. Established in 1999, it facilities are open to the public Tuesday evenings from 6:30 – 8:30 p.m. The first Tuesday of each month is dedicated to “Open Salon Night”. At these events they feature artist’s books from their rather extensive and quirky collection (like this frightfully clever pop-up book entitled The Slapdown). In addition you, the public, are encouraged to bring in your own artists books to share with fellow Booklyn goers.

Booklyn Workspace

Following Tuesdays are dedicated to workshops where you can get hands on experience with the various aspects of bookmaking. Those engaged in their own bookmaking projects can also use their guillotine (above at left) and their bookbinding equipment free of charge.

Booklyn Prints

Among Booklyn’s numerous projects (which include not only bookmaking, but also letter press and printmaking) is the Iraq Veterans Against the War (IVAW) People’s Republic of Paper. Partnering with former servicemen (and presumably, women) uniforms are shredded into pulp which in turn is turned into paper. Onto this paper each troop’s portrait is then screen printed. One of these portraits can be seen above to the far left.

Scream At The Librarian

They also have a number of really cool books for sale. Scream at the Librarian (above) was by far my favorite:

An instant cult classic, Scream at the Librarian sucks you into the flop house grime of downtown Los Angeles at a time when it was abandoned by all but the terminally desperate. The Screamer, Mr. Brain Damage, The Devil . . . these are just a few of the unforgettable characters that people Rane’s real-life accounts from deep within the stacks of a library which had become a refuge for squatters, drug addicts, and the mentally deranged.

Be advised that you need not be a librarian to appreciate this book. Anyone who has the pleasure of working with the general public will be able to relate. I for one found “The Racist” and “Tourette’s Syndrome” of particular interest. I had honestly not given the matter any thought, but I now understand that a chap with Tourette’s Syndrome may very well be a librarian’s worst nightmare. Why not swing by Booklyn tonight, purchase a copy and read for yourself?

37 Greenpoint Avenue, Floor 4
Brooklyn, New York 11222
(718) 383-9621
staff (at) booklyn (dot) org


Oh yeah, they also have nifty t-shirts for sale.

Miss Heather

Greenpoint Photo du Jour: When It Rains We Pour

February 26, 2008 ·
Filed under: Greenpoint Magic 

One of these days I am finally going to get around to building a time capsule. The contents of this vessel will be things quintessentially Greenpoint. The purpose of this exercise is to preserve the glory that is the Garden Spot of the Universe before it is rendered utterly soulless (like its more popular sister to the south).

It’s raining booze

That said, it simply doesn’t get much more Greenpoint than a busted up umbrella filled with empty wine bottles and jarred herring propped against a parking meter on a late Sunday morning. Yes sir, this must have been one hell of a party.

Miss Heather

Bushwick Photo du Jour: Halsey Street

February 26, 2008 ·
Filed under: Bushwick 


Methinks Wendy of Bushwick should make the acquaintance of Bruce over in Bed-Stuy.

Miss Heather

Crosstown Local Cavalcade Volume VIII: Penance

February 26, 2008 ·
Filed under: Greenpoint Magic 

Before what we know as prisons came into being the United States penal system was comprised of penitentiaries. The prevailing principle underlying the concept of the penitentiary was to place convicts in an environment that was conducive to contemplation. Being reasonable folks (and the operative here is reason), these ne’er do wells would eventually understand the error of their ways and become model citizens ready for reintegration into decent society.

I mention the previous because I too am a penitent. But instead bars my place of contemplate runs sporadically on four measly cars. Yes, I am talking about the G train. After all, how else can one while away so much time without touching upon a little existentialist angst? Seriously?

Which brings me to this poster for Philosophy Works.

Philosophy Works

As is the case with advertisements hawking philosophy, it asks a lot questions. Little did its creator know that we G train patrons have already found the answers.

What am I doing

Waiting for the mighty Crosstown Local to work its way through the bowels of Brooklyn and Queens predisposes us to reassess our lifestyle choices.

Smoke Less Pot

Sometimes we even feel a little guilty about some of them.

Smoke More Pot

But not for very long.

Miss Heather

The Snowmen of North Brooklyn

February 26, 2008 ·
Filed under: Bed-Stuy, Bushwick, Greenpoint Magic 

I had so much fun compiling this selection of Greenpoint snowmen I thought it would be fun to showcase some more fluffy fellas from different neighborhoods. Here we go!

McCarren Park Snowman

Representing Greenpoint we have this cute little guy from McCarren Park.

McCarren Park Thing

I have no idea whatsoever what this is, but it too is from McCarren Park and I felt it was worth mentioning.

Bushwick Snowman

This curiously long fellow was kicking it in Bushwick.

Marcy Avenue Snowman

If you happened to be walking down Marcy Avenue in Bedford Stuyvesant the odds are pretty good that your found this cheerful chap smiling at you. Speaking of the Stuy…

Stone Cold Snow Man

nothing says stone cold cool like a smoking snowman. I certainly hope he is considerate enough to dispose of his butts (or reefer leaves) responsibly.

Miss Heather

Easter Stuffed Animal Drive

February 25, 2008 ·
Filed under: Greenpoint Magic 

Stuffed Animal Drive

I learned about this while knocking around Manhattan Avenue Sunday afternoon. While I wasn’t aware that the Church of the Ascension’s Easter Stuffed Animal Drive had such a lengthy history, it’s not at all difficult to understand why: it is a terrific idea. Those of you wanting more information can contact Priscilla or Edith at the phone number indicated on the above flier. Inquiries can also be made in person or via email at:

Greenpoint Church of the Ascension
121 Java Street
Brooklyn, New York 11222
ascensionbrooklyn (at) gmail (dot) com

Why not give a child a much-needed reason to smile this Easter and donate a stuffed animal (or two) today?

Miss Heather

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