Williamsburg Photo du Jour: Grand Street

March 31, 2008 ·
Filed under: Williamsburg 

Subway Type Apartment

I am guessing the author of this advertisement meant to say railroad apartment.

If this is not the case I wonder exactly what constitutes a “subway type apartment”? Does it come furnished with some big dude who will sit on your couch with his legs spread as widely as is humanly possible? Do you have a doorman whose job is sticking his foot in your front door open long enough to let all his friends in? Crazy homeless folk shouting to people only he (or she) can see immediately comes to mind as does having your personal space violated six ways to Sunday due to over-crowding. And lest we forget, there’s always the ubiquitous “stinky person” whose malodorous presence makes his (or her) fellow passengers bolt to the next car gasping for air.

$1,200 a month seems like a lot of money to pay for such amenities when one can pay $81.00 for an unlimited ride Metrocard and experience all the previous…

and much, much more. No deposit necessary.

Miss Heather

Fine Art On Bedford Avenue

March 31, 2008 ·
Filed under: Bed-Stuy 

There was a time not too long ago when someone said “Bedford Avenue” one would think of the artistic flavor of Williamsburg. I suppose to a certain extent this is still true. This fair burg(h) sports a number of art galleries and stores selling high-end bric-a-brac —but somehow it is just not the same. It is a little too slick for my taste.

Luckily I discovered if you go a little further south there is still plenty of challenging art work to be found on this thoroughfare.


This work (which I have entitled “Nuknfuts”) can be found on the door of an automotive shop in Bedford Stuyvesant.

Orb thing

Next it one can find this anthropomorphic rendering of a gear shift and a mural.

Bedford Avenue Mural

I really like this piece. It has an almost Grandma Moses-esque naive sensibility to it.

The Finger


Miss Heather


March 31, 2008 ·
Filed under: Greenpoint Magic 

Yesterday as I was knocking around McGolrick Park I remembered that I had yet to get a nice photograph of P.S. 110. So I took a moment, found a nice vantage point and shutter-bugged to my heart’s contentment.

P.S. 110

It is not very easy to get a good shot of this beautiful building. As you can see the trees present a bit of an issue. Maybe a close up would be more feasible?

P.S. 110 Detail

Yes, that is much better. Very nice indeed!

Construction 124 Monitor Street

I wonder what is going on next door? Methinks I will go in for a closer look.

DOB Permit 124 Monitor Street

I cannot shake the feeling I have heard about this work site before. Oh wait, I remember! I received an email about it last Thursday at 11:48 p.m.:

…My bedroom window overlooks the North-facing yard of PS110 (corner of Driggs and Monitor). Some sort of elevator-shaft construction is happening to the building, and as I email screechy earth moving equipment is shuffling dirt from one mound into another. This totally stinks. Can you advise?

Earth mover and flood lights

Let’s see. The sun rises before 7:00 a.m. and sets after 7:00 p.m. nowadays. Our fair city permits construction to occur from 7:00 a.m. through 6:00 p.m. weekdays (provided of course an after-hours variance has not been issued). I wonder why they need flood lights?

Miss Heather

The Sunview 300

March 31, 2008 ·
Filed under: Greenpoint Magic 

Parkside Luncheonette

Many of my fellow Greenpointers are aware that the Sunview Luncheonette was shuttered by the Department of Health earlier this year. Among the violations cited were:

  1. Evidence of flying insects or live flying insects present in facility’s food and/or non-food areas.
  2. Toilet facility not maintained and provided with toilet paper, waste receptacle and self-closing door.
  3. Facility not vermin proof. Harborage or conditions conducive to vermin exist.

Frankly, this describes a number of restaurants I have patronized over the years. In fact, it sounds uncannily like my apartment (on occasion) or the McGolrick Park bathroom (which is located just across the street). Except no one has yet to cite me or the “McGolrick Park Crapper of Death”.


Even if they did I doubt such an act would create as much rancor as the closure of the Sunview Luncheonette has. So this establishment racked up a whopping 47 points? While pretty abysmal I have a very difficult time believing this is the worst score lurking in the bowels of the Department of Health’s records for north Brooklyn. The Subway franchise at 821 Manhattan Avenue racked up 36 points for such tasty transgressions as:

  1. Plumbing not properly installed or maintained; anti-siphonage or backflow prevention device not provided where required; equipment or floor not properly drained; sewage disposal system in disrepair or not functioning properly.
  2. Hand washing facility not provided in or near food preparation area and toilet room. Hot and cold running water at adequate pressure not provided at facility. Soap and an acceptable hand-drying device not provided.
  3. Evidence of mice or live mice present in facility’s food and/or non-food areas.
  4. Cold food held above 41°F (smoked fish above 38°F) except during necessary preparation.

yet they have not been shuttered. Interesting.

Moneygrubbing Pigs in Power

The way I see it, what’s a little stomach discomfort compared to the utter chaos that will undoubtedly result if this space becomes home to a second Starbucks?

Miss Heather

Crosstown Local Cavalcade X: Pick Your Poison

March 31, 2008 ·
Filed under: Area 51 


Sure some of you might find this offensive but there are much worse things one can be subjected to in our subway system than color commentary about Carrie Fisher’s cleavage.

Invasive Hammertoe Poster

Like this, for example. I have lived in New York Shitty for over ten years. During the aforementioned decade I have seen some seriously nasty shit— hell, I have even used the Washington Square Park bathroom— but money shots of someone’s deformed feet? Does the MTA really hate its ridership enough to inflict this upon us? I guess they do.


Maybe this is some clever ploy to discourage people from using mass transit, e.g.; if the ridership of the Crosstown Local goes down they won’t have to improve service? First a fare hike and now this. I shudder to think what the evil wizards at the MTA have up their sleeve next. Bursting boils? Chancre removal? Colostomy can cleaning services?

This isn’t to suggest this subway poster cannot be amusing under the right circumstances. My buddy Lisa discovered one such instance recently.

Advertising Arts by Lisa Vallez

Talk about product placement. Welcome to where American art stands today: 1-877-Bunion-1.

Miss Heather

Photo Credit: Scary feet and Whitney Biennial photograph by Lisa Vallez.

News On The Bed Bug Front

March 30, 2008 ·
Filed under: Bushwick, Greenpoint Magic, Williamsburg 


HPD will be visiting Greenpoint May 6 to give a two hour seminar about the pernicious vermin afflicting a lot of people in New York City: bed bugs. The purpose of this gathering is as follows:

  1. What are bed bugs?
  2. Are bed bugs dangerous?
  3. How do you know your home is infested with bedbugs?
  4. How can you get rid of bedbugs safely?*
  5. What are some bedbug myths?

Points #1-3: As my comrade to the south piquantly stated:

Hm, I thought the idea was to avoid infestations.

BushwickBK is entitled to his opinion. As am I— and I politely (and rationally) beg to differ. One cannot avoid infestations if he/she does not know what to look for— and the sad fact of the matter is most people don’t.

Which brings me to point #5: Bed bugs do not care about your socio/economic/ethnic status. Gay, straight or bi, they’ll happily dine upon anyone who gives them the opportunity. Even if you own a condo and speak English as a first language.

The HPD bed bug workshop in Greenpoint will be conducted May 6, 2008 from 6:00 – 8:00 p.m at…

The Greenpoint Reformed Church
136 Milton Street
Brooklyn, New York 11222
R.S.V.P: (212) 863-8830

In closing there’s a new bed bug wailing wall online. It is called New York vs. Bed Bugs. Last week I was asked by a reporter why I cared so much about the bed bug problem in my neighborhood. My answer was a very simple (and selfish) one:

I do not want to get them.

I know far too many people who have (and continue) to go through the utter hell of exterminating these creatures. An ounce of prevention is worth several months (and hundreds of dollars) worth of cure. Call and R.S.V.P. today.

Miss Heather

*Point #4: Yesterday evening I listened to two men on the G train (at the Clinton-Washington stop) discuss bed bugs. One advised spraying them with Lysol because (and I quote):

That slows them down.

His counterpart said he found one on his mattress, sprayed it with alcohol and then applied heat with a blow drier.

Um, that sounds kind of dangerous.

Greenpoint Photo du Jour: Code Red On Green Street

March 29, 2008 ·
Filed under: Greenpoint Magic 


I’ll be back!

Miss Heather

Williamsburg Pay Phone du Jour: Division Avenue

March 28, 2008 ·
Filed under: Williamsburg 

Division Pay Phone

Sorry, your call cannot be completed as dialed. Please get another roll of packing tape and try again.

Miss Heather

Bushwick Barf-O-Rama!

March 28, 2008 ·
Filed under: Fedders Friday 

That’s right folks, it’s time for Fedders Friday! This week I had a hard time deciding which building to feature so I decided to feature three fine-ass Fedders from Bushwick for your afternoon enjoyment. Ready? Let’s go!

Bushwick Barf 1

I like to call this architectural style Art Stucco.

Bushwick Barf 2

Here’s a second view. Not only is aluminum siding thrown in the mix but if you look closely, you can count twenty Fedders boxes!

Bushwick Barf 3

I’m a big fan of this building which (like the previous building) is located on Schaeffer Street. The architect got a little crazy here and laid out the Fedders in a zig zag fashion. Tres jaunty!

Bushwick Barf 4

The addition of a security camera is a nice touch. It offsets the exposed gutters quite nicely.

Bushwick Barf 6

Last, but hardly least for those of you who prefer your digs to have a more utilitarian lived-in look, this monolithic beauty awaits you on Jefferson Street.

Miss Heather

The Manifold Joys of Gentrification

March 28, 2008 ·
Filed under: Greenpoint Magic 

P.S. 110

I received the following email at 11:48 March 27, 2008:

Are you able to please help me? I am writing to you at 11:45 pm (aka MIDDLE OF THE NIGHT) Thursday night, 27 March. Construction happening RIGHT NOW outside my window is driving me NUTS. I have called 311, but have been advised some sort of non-helpful dodge about the appropriate agency being closed. I think that this CAN’T be legal, but I am SO SLEEPY and sleep-deprived that I am in no position to protest or research.

My bedroom window overlooks the North-facing yard of PS110 (corner of Driggs and Monitor). Some sort of elevator-shaft construction is happening to the building, and as I email screechy earth moving equipment is shuffling dirt from one mound into another. This totally stinks. Can you advise?

(Adding insult to insult is that this cacophony comes on top of what I already endure every day from 7:45 a.m. onwards coming out of Kingsland Ave.’s misguided condo projects).

Best wishes,


The benefactor of Anonymous’s late night torment is (in all probability) NATIONAL ENVIRONMENTAL SAFETY CO.

PS. 110 Permit

This entity is pre-qualified by the New York City School System too:


What does asbestos abatement and remediation have to do with elevator construction at 11:45 p.m.? Just curious.

Miss Heather

  • NYS Flickr Pool

    WheelieStaten IslandStatue of LibertyToy Apple on Doyers during Seasonal StreetCycleThe Nautilus IIISunset over ManhattanTepkik VI
  • Ads