Bushwick Photo du Jour: Bushwick Avenue

April 30, 2008 ·
Filed under: Bushwick, Greenpoint Magic, Williamsburg 

Today dear readers I spent the afternoon walking around Greenpoint, East Williamsburg and Bushwick posting fliers for next week’s bedbug workshop. When I reached the intersection of Montrose and Bushwick Avenue I was exhausted but my instincts told me to press on. So I did.

This was a very good decision.

Although I am very grateful to all the local business owners who were so kind as to permit me to post fliers (regarding subject matter that is admittedly less than savory) on their premises (they were great, all) the fact of the matter is after talking about nothing but bedbugs for three hours tends to make person a bit daffy*. Remembering what Carl Spackler said in the cinematic masterpiece that is Caddyshack, I decided to use these varmints as a means to aid and abet in their own destruction.

And that’s all she wrote.

Miss Heather

P.S.: In all seriousness, I could really use some help distributing more fliers in Bushwick, Greenpoint, Williamsburg and Long Island City. If anyone is interested in helping to get the word out please shoot me an email at missheather (at) newyorkshitty (dot) com

*My favorite conversation by far was with a bodega owner at the intersection of Franklin and Milton Street right here in Greenpoint. He was in the military and spent much time overseas. As he put it:

We would cover the mattresses with talcum powder. If we saw anything move we knew to go somewhere else.

Subway Photo du Jour: Reloaded

April 30, 2008 ·
Filed under: Williamsburg 

From the Lorimer Street stop of the L.

Miss Heather

Lost Dog Update: Cuba Libre!

April 30, 2008 ·
Filed under: Area 51, Greenpoint Magic 

Earlier this week I posted about this misplaced puppy flier I found on Manhattan Avenue. Well, the owner of this wayward canine has since erected another salvo of fliers which are much more informative.

If anyone has seen Cuba or knows of her whereabouts please contact her owner via either of the telephone numbers listed on the above flier. Let’s liberate this little lass from the land of the lost!

Miss Heather

Williamsburg Photo du Jour: Bedford Avenue

April 30, 2008 ·
Filed under: Williamsburg 

I made the acquaintance of this rather well-endowed young lady last weekend. I instantly felt a kinship with her.

Back in the day I too was an art student. I also had an affection for utilizing a certain piece of male anatomy in my art work. My shining moment during this era of infamy was attaching a rather large “appendage” to a Black & Decker drill and employing this device to make “shakes” on Open Studio Night. The previous food prep came to pass while wearing gold leopard print thong underwear. The dean of the school (who was— and probably still is— a colossal tight ass) was none too pleased, but it was a real crowd pleaser nonetheless.

Speaking of open studios, you can meet Hester Sin (the mind behind the above but of street theater) this week at the School of Visual Arts. Here are the deets:

WHERE: 133/144 West 21st Street, 8th Floor New York, New York

WHEN: Thursday, May 1 5:00 – 9:00 p.m.
Friday, May 2 12:00 – 9:00 p.m.
Saturday May 3 12:00 – 6:00 p.m.

You can also check out Miss Sin’s work on the Internets via her web site. Be sure to look at her sculptures. They’re really fun!

Miss Heather

Greenpoint Photo du Jour: Peking Express

April 30, 2008 ·
Filed under: Greenpoint Magic 

This establishment (which purports to have the “BEST CHINESE FOOD”) hails from Nassau Avenue just across the street from McGolrick Park. This image is also a little taste (no pun intended) of a new photo blog I am going to launch! I have not decided upon a name for it yet (although I have narrowed it down to several candidates), but its purpose will be to showcase the kitschiness and quirk to be found among New York Shitty’s most ubiquitous institutions: Chinese restaurants.

Excited yet? I am!

Miss Heather

A Flea Market Cometh To Greenpoint!

April 30, 2008 ·
Filed under: Greenpoint Magic 

675 Manhattan Avenue (the former home of Pretty Lady and La Bella Boutique) is slated to become a flea market! Anyone who is interested in having a booth should swing by in person, contact them via telephone at (718) 389-9545 or (347) 407-1837 or check out their MySpace page. CAVEAT: if you click on the previous link and happen to dislike Frank Sinatra turn off the sound on your computer.

Miss Heather

Update, June 5, 2010: This market is closed.

A Walk Around The Garden Spot

April 30, 2008 ·
Filed under: Area 51, Greenpoint Magic 

Despite the less than hospitable weather I knocked around the Garden Spot early yesterday afternoon. My persistence was quickly rewarded, as the neighborhood was rocking its inimitable mojo a little more than usual. Follows are some highlights.

As I approached McGuinness Boulevard things started getting interesting. I noticed (yet) another psychic has set up shop. Such establishments are rapidly becoming as pervasive as banks and Thai restaurants in the Garden Spot. Note the gentleman in the above photograph. He not only sports an eye patch, but is also rocking a DIESEL trucker hat. Methinks we might have discovered north Brooklyn’s first septuagenarian hipster!

This awaited me a few doors east of the psychic shack. As you can see, someone is none too pleased with the B24′s quality of service— or lack thereof.

Shoddy public transportation was not the only thing the local population was angry about either.

Too bad paint pens don’t come with a spell check function. They should.

That’s alright Greenpoint. Miss Heather loves ya! And this, dear readers, ends our walk around the Garden Spot!

Miss Heather

This Ain’t Your Mother’s Library!

April 29, 2008 ·
Filed under: Greenpoint Magic 

I have to admit, although I am a big fan of libraries in principle, I am not too be big on them in reality. I am simply too boisterous a person to sit still and/or quiet for terribly long. Thankfully today I decided to swing by P.S. 34 to take some much overdue photographs. On the way there I passed by Greenpoint’s very own branch of the Brooklyn Public Library and learned it is a much more swinging place than I had ever imagined.

Fed up with the ridiculous rents landlords are demanding nowadays? If so you are not alone. Why not take a lead from this guy and place all your worldly effects in your minivan, park it in front of the library and take a nap? That’ll show those greedy sons of bitches who’s boss!

Junior high is such a drag. Especially when your mom nags at you about smoking and shooting up in front of company. Stupid bitch. No worries, you can loiter in front of the library and get your fix. No one will care if it is a school day!

These are but two of the delights that await you if you decide to walk by the Norman Avenue branch of the Brooklyn Public Library. Given what I saw outside the premises it begs the question as to what these folks see fit to keep behind closed doors. Dewey decimal poker? Stag microfilm viewings? Reference desk key parties?

Librarians are a very kinky lot, after all.

Miss Heather

Still Waiting…

April 29, 2008 ·
Filed under: Greenpoint Magic 

I have received a number of inquiries about the above park (which is located at the northern terminus of Manhattan Avenue). Not surprisingly, most seem to involve when this park will actually be completed— and (also not surprisingly) I have no idea. I have been told that even my fellow print journalists here in the Garden Spot have not been able to motivate the city into divulging this much-wanted tidbit of information. Nonetheless it looks well on its way to completion. Of course this space has looked “nearly completed” for several months.

I do know, however, that the GMDC (Greenpoint Manufacturing and Design Center— which is located next to this park) has raised some (very justifiable) concerns about trespassing.

In any case, it is apparent that someone got fed up with waiting and decided to enjoy an illicit waterfront frolic.

Miss Heather

Props To The Gowanus Lounge

April 29, 2008 ·
Filed under: Area 51, Greenpoint Magic, Williamsburg 

I would like to take a moment to applaud my colleague, The Gowanus Lounge, on their successful transition to a new and greatly improved web site! In honor of this most auspicious occasion I rifled through my ever-expanding archive of street furniture and found this beauty from yesteryear.

2006: A Space Couch Odyssey.

Miss Heather