Affordable Housing In Greenpoint

April 25, 2008 ·
Filed under: Greenpoint Magic 

A number of you who live south of the BQE are undoubtedly familiar with this building. It is the former station house for the 87th Precinct. What you may not know is it is slated to become affordable housing! When I walked by this —one of the most beautiful edifices the Garden Spot has to offer— this week I made a joyous discovery: it already has its first tenant!

One of the purposes of providing affordable housing is to give people of more modest means a nice place to live without having to sell the shirt of their back.

Or would that be pants? The more eagle-eyed among probably spy a bottle of vodka in the background. This is what I call living large!

Dorothy in The Wizard of Oz had it right when she said:

There’s no place like home!

Miss Heather

Williamsburg Photo du Jour: The Flying Nun

April 25, 2008 ·
Filed under: Williamsburg 

From Devoe Street.

Miss Heather

Volunteers Needed At McGolrick Park Dog Run!

April 25, 2008 ·
Filed under: Greenpoint Magic 

Jeff Sandrund, the new Parks point person for things north Brooklyn has generously provided the McCarren Park dog run with new bark chips. The catch? The McGolick PArk dog run group needs help spreading them!

WHAT: Chip spreading

WHEN: Saturday, April 26 at 11:00 a.m.

WHERE:
McGolrick Park Dog Run

For more information about this or the numerous other things the McGolrick Park dog run has cooking (like a run for small dogs, for example), contact Rob Maher at:

rob (at) kaschiduds (dot) com

Woof!

Miss Heather

East Williamsburg Photo du Jour: In Bloom!

April 24, 2008 ·
Filed under: Williamsburg 

From Cooper Park.

Miss Heather

Au Revoir, Rat King

April 24, 2008 ·
Filed under: Greenpoint Magic 

It is with a heavy heart that I announce that 79 Kingland Avenue (AKA: The home of the Garden Spot’s very own Rat King) has finally succumbed to condomania.

Kate writes:

On Monday or Tuesday the big tree in front got cut down and someone put a R.I.P. sign on the stump. And today, all the windows were boarded up and there is a wooden fence around the house. I have a picture from today. It might be too many pixels, plus the colors are a little weird. I can send if you want.

All the pigeons that used to sit in the tree don’t know what to do.

It will be interesting to see what happens next. Plans were filed with the Department of Buildings to construct a seven story residential apartment building on this site. They were disapproved.

I am going to miss that tree. It was one of the most beautiful and eccentric ones to be found in this neighborhood. That’s “progress” for you!

Miss Heather

Greenpoint Photo du Jour: Peekaboo!

April 24, 2008 ·
Filed under: Greenpoint Magic 

From Franklin Street.

Miss Heather

Hard Hat Hannah Struts Her Stuff

April 24, 2008 ·
Filed under: Greenpoint Magic, Williamsburg 

Ever since she learned about Ms. Lancaster’s resignation, Hard Hat Hannah has been on my case.

Hannah: I want to see some of these work sites. I’ve been through rehab. I’m OK.
Miss H: Are you sure you can take it?
Hannah: BRING IT ON!

So I took her to Orient Avenue.

First up, 59:

Hannah: This house gives me the creeps.
Miss H:
I’ve got your back. Let’s go in!

I detect some vandalism on this fence.

She said. To wit I asked:

What does it say?

OOH A SECRET!

NO WAY!

Yes way

Hannah then proclaimed:

This property is no secret. Per the Department of Buildings it is to be bricked up and fenced off. What’s more, I find this…

shoddy fence most disturbing. Anyone and their dog can get in here!

Miss H: It would appear someone already has.

Hannah: Dammit!

Miss H: Let’s head down the street to 11 Orient, it’s a total shit hole.

Wow, this fence wasn’t here the last time I walked by. I wonder what happened?

Hannah: They got hit with two Stop Work Orders, that’s what!

Miss H: You go, Hannah!

Hannah:

The inspector who filled out this form made two egregious errors:

  1. Naming Marie Russo as the owner and
  2. MGM Demo as the contractor

I have seen this shit time and time again. The real author behind this disaster is none other than Marie Grasso and MMG Design!

What else can I say? Miss Hannah may be small, but she’s one damned good sleuth! What’s more, only a raging village of idiots could secure a demolition permit 4/16/08 only to get slapped with a Stop Work Order six days later.

Way to go, Grasso!

Miss Heather

Bushwick Photo du Jour: Broadway

April 24, 2008 ·
Filed under: Area 51 

Looks like Dan Quayle has hit the hood (and the potatoe chips)!

Miss Heather

The Greenpoint Hotel Goes Upscale!

April 24, 2008 ·
Filed under: Area 51, Crazy People, Greenpoint Magic 

I have written much about this institution. When I first moved to Greenpoint I had the dubious honor of living around the corner from this den of iniquity. I quickly became acclimatized to having crack heads, derelicts, ex-cons and register sex offenders as neighbors. Police raids became routine, e.g.; buy groceries, run laundry, watch 20+ policemen (and women) raid the Greenpoint Hotel.

I have since moved on, but nothing— and I mean NOTHING— prepared me for the email I received last night.

Laura: Hi Heather! I thought you’d get a kick out of this. The Greenpoint Hotel has a website that boasts of its “luxury suites”.

Miss H: Seriously, this isn’t a joke?

Laura: My personal favorite is that they refer to it as a “bed & breakfast”. I guess it’s the place to be!

Miss H: Mary, Jesus and Joseph— and I am not even CATHOLIC!!!

Laura: I so thought this was up your alley! Enjoy!

This institution got hit with a Stop Work Order after one patron partaking of said “comfortable accommodations” set his mattress on fire and was found frolicking in his own feces last February.

Before being hauled off to Bellevue, he assaulted a police officer! Keith Moon, eat you heart out! Hilarious hoax or wishful thinking? Check out their web site and* decide for yourself!

Miss Heather

*This delightful article from the New York Times.

Bushwick Gentrification Watch: Behind The Green Door

April 23, 2008 ·
Filed under: Bushwick 

Clearly this neighborhood is poised to become the next great outer borough Valhalla any day now. If any of you ladies or gentleman want a good ass kicking (but don’t want to pay those outrageous Manhattan prices) head to this house on Bushwick Avenue. The concierge will be more than happy to oblige you.

Miss Heather