Greenpoint Photo du Jour: Love Grandma

May 31, 2008 ·
Filed under: Greenpoint Magic 

From Manhattan Avenue.

Miss Heather

TOMORROW: Sale And Samba

May 31, 2008 ·
Filed under: Area 51 

Tomorrow, Sunday, June 1 the Capoeira Brooklyn Academy will be hosting a multi-family yard/bake sale with a dash of Samba. Here are the deets per their press release:

Capoeira Brooklyn’s annual fundraising event is a fantastic indoor multi-family yard sale, complete with live samba performances, facepainting, balloon animals and … did we mention an amazing yard
sale and bake sale?

We’ll have plenty of: Clothes & accessories, handbags, jewelry. Shoes for men and women, children’s clothing, books, CDs, great movies on DVD and VHS, sporting goods, toys, miscellaneous household items and fabulous knick-knacks.

We also know we’ll have some furniture (at least one futon, a box spring, a microwave cart), electronics and household appliances (a microwave) and much, much more.

Proceeds will benefit Capoeira Brooklyn’s annual batizado celebration (you can find out more about Capoeira Brooklyn at the sale, too!)

Don’t miss it!

WHAT: Sale/Sambafest

WHEN: June 1, 2008 9:00 a.m. – 2:00 p.m. (Samba performances are 11:00 a.m. and 1:00 p.m.)

WHERE: Capoeira Brooklyn Academy
347 Flatbush Avenue, 2nd Floor
(Corner of Flatbush and Park Place)

WHY: Not?

HOW: Take the B or Q to 7th Avenue.


Miss Heather

Williamsburg Photo du Jour: Chicks With Dicks

May 31, 2008 ·
Filed under: Williamsburg 

From the Smith-9th bound platform of the Crosstown Local.

Miss Heather

Bushwick Photo du Jour: It’s Alive

May 30, 2008 ·
Filed under: Bushwick, Williamsburg 

From Waterbury Street.

Miss Heather

The Trailer Spot

May 30, 2008 ·
Filed under: Bushwick, Greenpoint Magic 

Earlier this week I wrote about meeting the man who lives in the Pla-Mor trailer on India Street. Well, it would appear he is not the only mobile home dweller in the Garden Spot. margotanyweather writes:

There’s actually a man who lives in an RV on Van Dam Street, too!

Wishing to see this for myself, I headed down to Van Dam.

Margot was right.

I didn’t see anyone about, but signs of habitation were present: a generator, welcome mat and lawn furniture.

A house is simply not a home without a decapitated head gracing the premises. In north Brooklyn it isn’t, anyway.

Miss Heather

St. Cecilia’s Update

May 30, 2008 ·
Filed under: Greenpoint Magic 

Earlier this month I wrote about the rumored sale of St. Cecilia’s holdings to developers. Well, after receiving a very angry phone call from my upstairs neighbor (whose son is an honor student this institution) this morning I have more to report. Per my neighbor, parents were given one month’s advance notice that the school would be closing. That’s right folks. ONE MONTH. AT THE END OF THE SCHOOL YEAR.

Initially parents were assured their children would be accepted to neighboring institutions. This appears not to be the case. Now my neighbor and the parents of other children attending St. Cecilia’s are scrambling to get their children placed into other schools —only to find they are not accepting new students.

In other news I have been told the school— and by that I mean the building proper will be converted into condominiums. Because, you know, that part of Greenpoint doesn’t have enough ‘luxury’ housing already. Why waste money educating our youth when there’s a buck to be made! Priorities, people!

Miss Heather

Butt Ugly In Bed Stuy

May 30, 2008 ·
Filed under: Bed-Stuy, Fedders Friday 

(Or, the Gruesome Twosome)

I have been hard pressed to find something that can begin to approach the Fedders fineness of last week’s offering. After all, how can one possibly top medical waste boxes chained to burglar bars? To this end I have decided to feature two buildings from Bed Stuy. I have taken to calling them “The Gruesome Twosome”. The reason I have given them this moniker will become all too clear soon enough.

This beauty hails from the intersection of Stuyvesant Avenue and Lexington. Note that the city has bothered to place a reproduction vintage lamp post on this corner. This attempt at beautification is totally undermined by the steaming pile of doo-doo behind it. Follows are a few of my favorite accouterments:

  1. The phlegm-colored awning gracing the right-hand property.
  2. A rather tall fence demarcating the property. If you look carefully you will notice this fence is grey to the right and white to the left. I guess they couldn’t make up their mind.
  3. Exposed gutters: a must for any Fedders worth a lick of salt.

Let’s look around back, shall we?

Ah yes, what would a Fedders Special be without balconies overlooking what appears to be a garage! Note that the lower balcony has been partially painted black. Did they run out of paint? Is this some form of artistic expression? I suppose only they know for certain.

The overall cold-war era feel is augmented by the grey sheet metal doors, exposed cinder blocks and aluminum chimneys. Methinks this building should be named the Sofia Mews— as in Sofia, Bulgaria.

Welcome to the People’s Democratic Republic of Bedford Stuyvesant! Best to mind you P’s and Q’s. Big Brother is watching.

I like to call this photograph Ye Olde Soviet Rust. I can almost hear Khrushchev using a piece of footwear improperly from here…

As with any worker’s paradise, the need for housing for the proletariat is paramount. Thankfully the above beauty has a companion a short distance away on Greene Avenue.

If you worked all week fighting Capitalist swine, you’d be home by now!

Parking for members of the Politburo only.

Great Jumping Yankee Satan’s underpants! Ain’t no way NATO is getting through these doors!

In the event of Free-Market Capitalist military aggression, please head to the bomb shelter conveniently located down stairs.

Numbers?!? Those are decadent! That $1.99 a number could be spent on building munitions. A piece of chalk or pencil will suffice, Comrade.

All you Capitalist pig dogs out there, listen up:

We will bury you

…under ass ugly architecture, that is!*

Miss Heather

*Big props go to Jayspec for coming up with this one!

Greenpoint Photo du Jour: Bad Santa

May 30, 2008 ·
Filed under: Greenpoint Magic 

From Moultrie Street.

Miss Heather

Best On India

May 29, 2008 ·
Filed under: 11222, Greenpoint, Greenpoint Brooklyn, Greenpoint Magic 

Ever had one of those things you keep telling yourself you’ll get around to but never do? This post is one of those. After much delay I am going to clue you guys in about the happenings at 156 and 158 India Street. On May 19, 2008 a tipster wrote:

The house one lot down from my boyfriend and I received an order to vacate at about 3 pm on Saturday. Fire trucks blocked the street and stayed put.

We went down to get some food and I asked one of the ten or so firemen who were standing around one of the trucks what was going on. He said the building at 156 India was about to collapse and they had to immediately evacuate. I asked if this was due to undermining of the foundation because of construction at the neighboring lot (158 India Street — Ed. Note) and he said no.

It was just due to years and years and years of neglect…. We saw people taking everything they could carry and getting out… and ever since there’s been a police car parked out front of the house with a spot light pointed at the open door to the building.

Funny thing is, about two weeks ago my boyfriend saw a guy coming home to 156 India with a chick, presumably his date…

Male Resident of 156 India: Here we are! My new place…
Chick: You live here…? (Incredulous look)
M.R.156 India: I know, I know, it looks shitty from the outside, but wait ’til you see my space!

Lucky for her she saw it before it collapses into a heap.

This house was evacuated May 17, 2008 after the F.D.N.Y. had the Department of Buildings checked the structural stability on a non-load bearing wall following a complaint of the “BUILDING SHAKING/VIBRATING/STRUCT STABILITY AFFECTED“. The Department of Buildings’s findings are as follows:


Pretty bad, eh? Brace yourself because it gets worse.

The owner of this building was cited by the Department of Buildings for more or less the same problem OVER A YEAR AGO. As you can see, Mr. Nealis was fined $2,500. He has yet to pay up. In fact, if you browse the ECB violations for 156 India Street, you’ll notice non-payment of fines and non-compliance seem to be his modus operandi. Here’s one of my personal faves. It dates from May 5, 2007:


Gee, that sounds really fucking dangerous. You might be interested to know that once again a fine of $2,500 was levied. It remains unpaid. Stick we me— it only gets more interesting. Take this fun fact, for example.

Kevin Nealis is (or at least was) the owner of another property in Greenpoint with an interesting history: 95 Clay Street. If this address sounds familiar to you, it is because I have written about it. Repeatedly. An apartment building was recently built there with no permits whatsoever.

I don’t know about you, but this Nealis chap sounds like a fun guy. What’s more, he may very well be responsible for a Greenpoint first:

A construction site being evacuated because the existing building next to it posed an imminent threat to public safety.

Or did the chaps at 158 India Street (Best On India LLC!*)have a hand in the demise of their neighbor? Their brand-spanking new Stop Work Order would certainly suggest so:


I suppose only the Department of Buildings and the owner of 156 and Best on India LLC only know for certain. There is, however, one thing I can assert with total confidence: thanks to one landlord’s total disregard for the safety of his tenants and the Department of Buildings appalling lack of effective enforcement six individuals and/or families are now homeless. This is inexcusable.

On the brighter side, at least this family was spared being displaced. I wonder who their landlord is?

Miss Heather

*I am NOT kidding. Click here and see for yourself!

Greenpoint Gets A New Bus Shelter!

May 29, 2008 ·
Filed under: Greenpoint Magic 

Those of you who were out and about last weekend probably noticed that we have finally been given one of those slick-looking new bus shelters. It is located on Manhattan Avenue just north of Greenpoint Avenue.

Here it is. You can almost smell the cement curing. Greenpoint is sure getting tony nowadays. First it was Starbucks, now it is a nice shiny new bus shelter. I wonder what we’ll get next— more efficient subway service perhaps? NAH.

Here is a woman using said shelter correctly. I’m glad to see my fellow Greenpointers have adapted to this new addition to our urban landscape effortlessly.

What’s more, someone or something has already seen fit to christen it! The powers that be can throw as many new bus shelters, luxury condominiums and double skinny lattes they want at us. There are some things that will never change. An ordinary person would tender their thanks for civic improvements (such as this shelter) by writing their duly elected officials. Not us. We are not ordinary. We are Greenpointers and we have our own inimitable manner of expressing gratitude.

Miss Heather

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