More Fun With The Luxe Guesthouse

February 28, 2009 ·
Filed under: Greenpoint Magic 

184eaglest

It’s Saturday afternoon and I am pleased to announce that the fun isn’t over yet with Greenpoint’s newest luxury hostel— in fact, it looks like it has just begun. Apparently the Luxe Guesthouse at 184 Eagle Street (as seen above) is only one of three hostels Fizzburg Equity Partners LLC has set up in Greenpoint. And it doesn’t stop there: three more such establishments are in the works. Don’t believe me? Read the following email thoughtfully provided by an anonymous tipster who writes:

Thought you might want to read this, since I saw a posting on your site. I got it a while back from a girl in town who was working with the local businesses to try to get us to hire her firm for PR. We didn’t, but apparently this is her new venture…luxury hostels.

fizzburg

SIX?!?

Miss Heather

P.S.: Be sure to mark your calendars kids; per their Facebook page the Luxe Guesthouse’s Grand Opening is March 15th! For more info on Kisha (and her plan to take over the world) click here.

Lost & Found In Greenpoint

February 28, 2009 ·
Filed under: Greenpoint Magic 

Yesterday I was asked by one of the very fabulous folks behind Fucked In Park Slope to contribute to their “Nine Questions” feature. I replied that I would be more than happy to do so. With certain “adjustments” of course.

For example, their first question is:

Describe Park Slope in 5 words.

My answer: It is not for me.

This is not to suggest that this ‘nabe doesn’t have its redeeming qualities. Clearly it does or so many people wouldn’t see fit to use the F train (AKA: G train lite— crappy commute sans the “in-flight entertainment”) to schlep to work every day. Park Slope is visibly pleasing. Park Slope is located adjacent to Prospect Park, which is also visibly pleasing. Is Park Slope a “nicer” place to live than Greenpoint, my home? From a certain view point the answer is “yes”.

But I do not espouse this point of view. What’s more, the effete “mommy culture” (be it smart or otherwise) is to my person what bleach is to ammonia: we shouldn’t mix. This is probably why I live in Greenpoint two blocks away from the largest waste treatment plant on the eastern seaboard.

And then of course there is this.

adulthighchair

A dismantled “adult high chair” found on Green Street in front of the Green Oaks Club.

When I took the above photograph I didn’t realize what this was. I merely found it amusing. Later, when Mister Heather came home I got the 411:

The Mister saw Larry Da Junkman on the way to work. Larry was upset because the junk shop received a shipment of infantilism fetish gear* (which he knew yours truly would want to document) but one item was stolen: a super-sized high chair designed for very, VERY naughty men. After putting 2 + 2 together we concluded this had to be the item in question.

I for one really like this shade of pink. My kitchen is colored in this very same hue. The previous tenants painted it that way, I liked it and so I have left it. But alas this one hundred square foot room already sports too much clutter to make the integration of this item plausible. Damn.

Besides, it looks like it has been put to good use already.

Maybe this part of the reason why I live in Greenpoint? Gaggles of mothers with children in tow hosting touchy-feely gatherings at the local coffee shop/bar is not my proverbial cup of tea. Never was, never will be. Whatever “hard-wiring” women are purported to have which makes them want to beget children I did not receive.

This doesn’t make me and better or worse than them: only different. I respect their difference. Up to a point. My stroller friends to the south seem to operate under the presumption they do not live in a city of 8,000,000 plus people. And among previous seven figures are people who would be classified as criminals: those who have the desire to create mischief, those who steal in order to fence and get money; or those who steal out of genuine need (READ: they need a stroller).

The sad reality is if leave your property unattended someone may very well steal it (for any one of the previous reasons). High-end strollers are easy fodder for fencers. Carnation pink high-chairs built for adult consumption not so much. This item was clearly stolen by necessity.

Some gent in the Garden Spot of the Universe was a very, VERY bad boy and in dire need of some “correcting”. This chair was commandeered (for the previous purpose) and put to good use. This is the kind of theft I am am reluctant to malign: if you keep the adults in line the children most certainly will follow.

That’s page #1 of  the Greenpoint parenting book for you.

*snap*

Miss Heather

*Like this:

baby

Williamspoint Photos Du Jour: Fire Hydrant Cavalcade

February 28, 2009 ·
Filed under: Bushwick, Greenpoint Magic, Williamsburg 

evergreenave

Evergreen Avenue, East Williamsburg/Bushwick.

powerssthydrant

Powers Street, Williamsburg.

driggsavejacket

Driggs Avenue, Williamsburg.

hydrantwithbelvedere

Java Street, Greenpoint.

unifiedmass

India Street, Greenpoint.

Miss Heather

The Kent Street Cat

February 28, 2009 ·
Filed under: 11222, Crazy Cat Lady, Greenpoint, Greenpoint Brooklyn, Greenpoint Magic 

kentstcatThis cat (which graces the north-facing wall of The Garden) has been around as long as I can remember. I have noticed all other graffiti that has found its way to this edifice has been removed— but not this kitty. I have long intended to get the story behind this fetching feline. Last night I finally did.

Faced with the prospect of having to eat a jarring combination of (questionably edible) foodstuffs for dinner the Mister and I patronized The Garden. As luck would have it, I recognized one of the owners of this establishment. He was engaged in a conversation with another gentleman but having at long last the opportunity to shed light on this mystery I politely interrupted.

Miss Heather: Pardon me for butting in but aren’t you the owner of this establishment?

Owner: Yes, I am one of them.

Miss Heather: I have a very strange question for you. I took it up with Magda (an employee of The Garden, wonderful woman) as I know she has been working here for some time but she didn’t know…

Owner: (getting curious)

Miss Heather: What’s the deal with the cat on your building? The black cat.

After some thought (and some more Q & A) I got an answer. Here it is, albeit in highly simplified form:

  1. Approximately 8-9 years ago someone spray-painted this piece of graffiti onto The Garden.
  2. The owner liked it so much he didn’t see fit to remove it.
  3. However, the owner of the building didn’t agree, so…
  4. five years ago he asked someone to cover it up with primer.
  5. When the person with the primer showed up this gentleman (who the owner of The Garden described as being a “cat person”) had changed his mind. He had grown attached to it.

And so it has remained on Kent Street ever since. I have no idea what the person responsible for this was thinking when he (or she) created this cat. Was his intent vandalism or art? I don’t know and quite frankly I am comfortable with not knowing. It has since become a beloved member of the community and I suspect I speak for many when I say I hope he (or she) stays with us for a very, very long time!

Miss Heather

Greenpoint Fashion Watch

February 28, 2009 ·
Filed under: Greenpoint Magic 

Since the weather decided to take (yet another) manic upswing I tossed on my shoes, said goodbye to my heavy winter coat and went out to enjoy the sunshine. I was not alone: a number of my fellow Greenpointers elected to do the same. Here are a few of my faves.

womanonnoble

I spied this woman on Noble Street. I’m not terribly certain what the bottle in her hand contains (motor oil? Gold Bond Powder?) but she’s looking damned fine with this red hat/red sweater combo!

It was also a great day to listen to a little music and catch up with friends.

jammin

Which is exactly what this chap on Manhattan elected to do!

And last, but hardly least, when Greenpoint has 54 degree weather on a February day I think of one thing: Norwegian Death Metal. Preferably with chihuahuas.

mordred

So you can imagine my delight when I encountered Mordred— Greenpoint’s most stylish citizen— wearing a dress made out of a Taakeferd tee shirt! Wishing to get to the bottom of this delightfully daring fashion statement I asked her “person”/seamstress for the scoop.

When the weather (and Miss Mordred’s schedule) allows you can look forward to a very special fashion post featuring the couture of this very special chihuahua. Trust me: you will not be disappointed.

Miss Heather

TOMORROW: Empty Cages Collective Does Bedford Avenue

February 27, 2009 ·
Filed under: Crazy People, Greenpoint Magic, Williamsburg 

eccmarch

After the amazing turnout at last weekend’s event the folks at Empty Cages Collective are hitting us up with another adoption event tomorrow, February 28, 2009, from noon until 5:00 p.m. Why not come by and meet some of the finest kitties this city has to offer?

Empty Cages Collective Cat & Kitten Adoption Day
February 28, 2009, 12:00 – 5:00 p.m.
NYC Pet Supplies
241 Bedford Avenue
Brooklyn, New York 11211

To close on a related note I simply must share this slide show featuring some of Empty Cage’s newest residents. WARNING: the following footage is incredibly cute. Enjoy!

These adorable fur kids were born on February 21st to a feral mother at Empty Cage’s facility. As you can see they’re happy, healthy and too damned precious for words!

Miss Heather

Presenting The Luxe Guesthouse

February 27, 2009 ·
Filed under: Greenpoint Magic, Williamsburg 

(or: Where Condos In Greenpoint Go After They Die).

This item comes courtesy of a tipster who prefers to remain anonymous. As you read on you’ll understand why: the following “digs” are probably illegal as hell.*

privateroomsrev

This establishment purports to be located in Greenpoint. But where, you ask? Try this one on for size!

184eaglest

184 Eagle Street. Yes, sir. If you’re looking for a place to hang your hat (and the Greenpoint Hotel is not your cup of tea) why not give the Luxe Guesthouse a whirl? A single bunk will set you back a paltry $28.00 a night! Those seeking more private accommodations will be asked to tender $79.00 a night. The catch: you have to sign a one week lease! Don’t believe me? Point and click your way over their web site or look at this ad on Craigslist and see for yourself! Sleep tight…

…and don’t let the bedbugs bite!

Miss Heather

*What could possibly be shady about an operation whose “directions” page says this?

directions

TONIGHT: Brother Can You Spare Some Rent?

February 27, 2009 ·
Filed under: Williamsburg 

cityrelAny of you looking for something to do this evening with a decidedly timely twist might be interested in an event being conducted at The City Reliquary this evening. It is called Brother Can You Spare Some Rent?: A “Modern Day Depression-Era Fundraiser. I’ll let their press release take it from here:

Times are tough all around – roller coaster stock markets, job losses by the hundreds of thousands, bipartisan bickering with no relief in sight. It’s even tougher for 501 (c) (3) non-profit Community Museums. So the City Reliquary is hosting a fundraiser to raise some of (last month’s!) rent. BROTHER CAN YOU SPARE SOME RENT? is a Modern Day Depression-Era Fundraiser held in our backroom and backyard. For a minimum $10 tax-deductible donation at the door, you can come and participate in scores of historical diversions and entertainments circa 1935. The City Reliquary is proud to present:

  • Pie the Landlord! That’s right – the City Reliquary will have our very own cigar-chomping, unshaven, smelly Landlord demanding our rent! Tell him where to shove it with a whipped cream pie in his face!
  • Madame LuLu LoLo, Fortune Teller Extraordinaire: She Sees All and Knows All and Your Fortune Might Help Pay Our Rent!
  • Hobo Photos a Go-Go: Take your picture in our hand painted carnival sign.  Remember the Recession of ’09 with a photographic keepsake!
  • Depression-era movies: shown on the projector in the backyard. Laugh it up with Mae West, the Marx Brothers and James Cagney.
  • Oil drum fires: (and more modern propane heaters) to keep you warm while you chill in the cold. All fires will be regulated carefully by official FDNY supervision!
  • DIY Fingerless Gloves Table! Because nothing says Depression-chic than rockin’ a pair of fingerless gloves!
  • Prohibition-era Beer provided by the Brooklyn Brewery and Depression-era “Rum” Punch provided by the City Reliquary at contemporary-recession era cost.
  • Homemade Mulligan Stew by Chef Master Mark at wallet-friendly prices.
  • DJ Stacher playing hits from the economically challenged 1930s (Harlem Jazz) and 1970s (early Rap); as well as Big Money tracks from the 1980s (disco) and 2000s (electro). Get down!

The previous diversions will set you back a very “Depression-friendly” $2.00 – $5.00 a pop (in addition to the suggested donation of $10.00 at the front door). All proceeds will be used to help the City Reliquary pay (last month’s and this month’s) rent.

Brother Can You Spare Some Rent?
February 27, 2009 7:00 – 11:00 p.m.
The City Reliquary
370 Metropolitan Avenue
Brooklyn, New York 11211

The only item I can think of that has (arguably) been overlooked is Housing Court. Sure, this is not exactly the stuff of the 1930′s— but speaking as someone who has been there I can attest that it would excellent fodder for a board game, Kabuki play and/or a rock opera.

Miss Heather

Greenpoint Photos Du Jour: Steel Horse

February 27, 2009 ·
Filed under: Greenpoint Magic 

mopedongreen

horses

handcuff

mopedfront

Although the genius that is this motor vehicle is self-evident I feel compelled to point out what is (in my opinion) it’s finest finest feature.

head

This. I have no clue as to what kind of creature this little fella is supposed to be but it reminds me of something from a Ray Harryhausen movie. I give this ride two enthusiastic Greenpoint thumbs up!

Miss Heather

NOTEWORTHY: Somewhere In Queens

February 27, 2009 ·
Filed under: Astoria, Clinton Hill, Ft. Greene, Long Island City, Queens, Sunnyside 

xdoobiex (the gentleman who tipped me off to the following item writes):

…first,  this is a little promotion for my friend.. i am not sure if you want to post it.. but he needs exposure… see attachment…

queensflyer

Granted, this is still a little ways off. But I am very excited about checking out this show (which, amusingly enough, is located in in the county of Kings).

Somewhere In Queens, Alex Segreti
Opening Reception: March 9, 2009 6:00 – 9:00 p.m.
Pratt Institute Media Arts Gallery
Steuben Hall, 3rd Floor
200 Willoughby Avenue
Brooklyn, New York 11205

Miss Heather