Greenpoint Photo Du Jour: Greetings & Salutations

April 3, 2009 ·
Filed under: Greenpoint Magic 

gimmemoney

From Manhattan Avenue.

Miss Heather

East Williamsburg Photo Du Jour: Cell Phone Booth

April 2, 2009 ·
Filed under: Bushwick, Williamsburg 

cellphonebooth

From Seigel Street.

Miss Heather

New York Shitty Day Ender: April Showers

April 1, 2009 ·
Filed under: Greenpoint Magic 

ericperlmutter

Eric Perlmutter (who contributed this fun and curiously appropriate shot) writes:

Saw this today on Lorimer between Bedford and Driggs and thought you might like it.

Indeed I do! Thanks for passing this along Eric and here’s to 60 degree weather and sunny skies tomorrow!

Miss Heather

Found In East Williamsburg

April 1, 2009 ·
Filed under: Asshole, Bushwick, Williamsburg 

asshole1

Hmm… I wonder what that round thing is? I think I’ll go over and get a closer look.

asshole2

If anyone out there is missing an asshole no worries, I found it on Varet between Bogart and White Street. You might want to tote along a little Charmin. He (or she) looks a little “soiled”.

Miss Heather

A Revue Of Greenpoint Street Furniture

April 1, 2009 ·
Filed under: Greenpoint Magic 

This week the street furniture gods have smiled upon Greenpoint. Perhaps this is due to a number of people moving? Or the fact I live in Bedbug central? I try not to think about it too much to be perfectly frank. In any case, here’s a revue of my latest finds. Enjoy!

newelstcouch

This stunning ensemble hails from Newel Street. Not only has a stylish three legged coffee table been thrown… in for good measure…

newelstreetsock

but you also get a sock. Use it wisely.

normanavenuecouch

This much worse for wear bit of street seating comes courtesy of Norman Avenue. If only these cushions could talk; I bet they’d have an interesting tale to tell!

nassauavenue

I found this saucy number on Nassau Avenue. Why someone would discard something this stylish is beyond me. I am certain they had their reasons.

meekeravecouch

Last— but hardly least— Meeker Avenue hits us up with this cream colored sleeper. There are a lot of home furnishings roaming the streets of our mean city. These are but a few. Until next time…

Miss Heather

TONIGHT: Tomfoolery At t.b.d.

April 1, 2009 ·
Filed under: Greenpoint Magic 

tbd-april-fools

Those of you who don’t get your fill of foolishness today (if so, you’re either not looking hard enough or in the wrong places) might be interested to know t.b.d. will be hosting an evening of stand-up comedy, hoaxes and “joaxes”. I am certain drink specials will be involved as well. Check it out!

April Fool’s Party
t.b.d.
224 Franklin Street
Brooklyn, New York 11222

Miss Heather

GREENPOINT RECESSION WATCH

April 1, 2009 ·
Filed under: Greenpoint Magic, Recession 

(Or, Are You And A Significant Other Looking For A Little Extra Cash?)

One question I am asked quite frequently about my junk daze is as follows:

How do you do it?

As you can probably intuit from the video gracing the beginning of this post my answer is simply:

Very easily.

I have reached a point in my life where very few things disturb me at a core level anymore. This is not to suggest I have seen it all. I haven’t and I do not want to. Some would say I have a very vivid imagination. Others would call me a colossal pervert. They’re both probably correct. Which brings me to this rather eye-catching flier I spied on Manhattan Avenue recently.

attention

$290 divided by 15 comes out roughly to $19.30 an hour. Not a bad a rate for keeping one’s clothes on.*

Miss Heather

*Although I suppose you could do those online questionaires in your birthday suit if you are so inclined.

Reader Contribution Du Jour: Awwwww Fook!

April 1, 2009 ·
Filed under: Bed-Stuy, Brooklyn, Culture War 

fook

Although both I and my good friend down at Bed Stuy Banana have already featured this delightful establishment I’m going to do it again. Some things just don’t get old. Jason Lombard (of Dog Habitat) who sent me this photo writes:

I know you venture to Bed Stuy once in a while – I was there last week and came across this joint. The Fook Hing Chinese Restaurant on Nostrand Ave. Close to the fook hing G stop. The sign says it’s fook hing delicious. I’ll take their word for it – I didn’t try the fook hing chicken. But that’s a good thing because they got shut down for fook hing rats!

I couldn’t have said it better myself.

Miss Heather

Greenpoint Photos Du Jour: PROJECT MEGAPOLE

April 1, 2009 ·
Filed under: Greenpoint Magic 

kucharek

Since yesterday, March 31, was on the heels of none other than April Fool’s Day I decided it would be fun to engage in a little tomfoolery. It took me a little while to figure out how I was going to go about this but after walking around Greenpoint a couple hours it finally came to me:

Geez, there are sure a lot of businesses whose names integrate “Poland” in some way, shape or form here.

I know what you’re thinking:

NO SHIT SHERLOCK, you live in ‘Little Poland”!

Yes, I know. But previous to yesterday afternoon I had never pondered how many business names here reflect the cultural vibrancy of my fair ‘nabe. I decided I simply must know once and for all how many of them there are. To this end I started documenting them. Here are my findings/observations thus far:

  1. There are a darned lot of them! In a casual 1 1/2 hour search I turned up 25 businesses on the west side of McGuinness Boulevard alone. I imagine once I expand my search to the area around McGolrick Park I will find many more.
  2. Most were pretty mundane and descriptive in nature, e.g.; Polish Meat Market, Poland Farm, Old Poland Bakery, and so forth. This is a shame, as some of the most stunning examples of marketing I have found here in the 11222 employ a suffix/prefix formula: Anna – Pol Travel, Dunne’s Polemost Liquors, POLSERVICE, POLMART and (my personal favorite) MEGAPOL Music. Granted, this is not the is not the stuff of Saatchi & Saatchi but they do have a certain je nais sais quoi. Besides, if it is good enough for The Garden Spot of The Universe it’s sure as hell good enough for me…

and YOU! On that note and without further ado here is a slide show featuring the findings of what I have christened “Project: MEGAPOLE”. When I have completed my mission you can look forward to a map, statistical breakdown and yes, maybe even a pie chart or two. Enjoy!

TO BE CONTINUED…

Miss Heather

Happy April Fool’s Day From New York Shitty!

April 1, 2009 ·
Filed under: Greenpoint Magic 

aprilfool1

aprilfool2

aprilfool3

aprilfool5

I can think of no better way to kick off today’s selection of absurd New York Shitty goodness than this masterfully executed (and most assuredly illegal) seven point turn* from Huron onto Franklin Street Whoever you are, truck drivin’ man, thank you. Watching your herculean effort to round this corner gave the Department of Sanitation employee idling on Huron Street (in the correct direction) and I a much needed laugh.

Miss Heather

*This is an estimate. I lost count after six.