Urban Artifact Du Jour: Sarah, Get Your Gun!

April 26, 2009 ·
Filed under: Clinton Hill, Urban Artifact 

Today your truly has sojourned through no less than Greenpoint, East Williamsburg, Clinton Hill and around the Navy Yard. We have company in town and decided to take our friend on the grand tour, if you will. It was towards the end of our excursion that I found the following gem on Clinton Avenue just underneath the Brooklyn Queens Expressway.

s-palinnys

I’m not too sure what kind of game Ms. Palin was hunting in the wilderness of Clinton Hill but it looks like whatever it was got the better of her.

Miss Heather

P.S.: Although I already have far too much weird crap laying around this apartment already I brought this item home. Unless I hear from our favorite former Vice Presidential candidate I plan to make an art object out of it. Be advised that buttplug will probably be involved.

Greenpoint Restaurant Watch: 946 Manhattan Avenue

April 26, 2009 ·
Filed under: Greenpoint Magic 

before

Remember that most curious conversion I told you about last month? You know, the space that was formerly a bookstore but whose Certificate of Occupancy stated it was a funeral parlor? Well today the sign finally went up. And I have some very good news on the “culinary diversity” front!

la-tavernanys

Your eyes are not deceiving you. This eating and drinking establishment will be serving fare previously unavailable in my corner of Greenpoint.

workers-at-la-taverna

Per the really friendly guys who erected the sign “La Taverna” will be serving “Mediterranean food”. When I queried them as to whether it would be Greek, Turkish, etc. they confessed that they did not know. Nonetheless I told them this was most welcome news because our community has too many Thai restaurants already. As you can see in the above photograph, they found this piquant observation quite amusing.

La Taverna
946 Manhattan Avenue
Brooklyn, New York 11222

I got no word as to when this establishment will be opening its doors. However, I took a quick peek inside and the interior appears to be very close to completion. The tables, chairs, light fixtures— you name it— were all in place and the only thing I could see lacking were the customers. In other words I am going to prognosticate that La Taverna will be gracing the Garden Spot sooner rather than later!

Miss Heather

Greenpoint Street Seating Du Jour: Chartreuse Special

April 26, 2009 ·
Filed under: Greenpoint Magic, Street Furniture 

chartreusenys

From Norman Avenue.

Miss Heather

Williamspoint Slide Show Du Jour: Kite Day 2009

April 26, 2009 ·
Filed under: Greenpoint Magic, Williamsburg 

Hosting a kite flying event on a day with virtually no wind presents a certain number of challenges. However, a few of the more savvy kite lovers did manage to achieve flight— and there was more than enough entertainment to be found on terra firma. As you will see in the following selection of photographs I have assembled for your viewing pleasure. Enjoy!

I’ll be uploading footage of the Hungry Marching Band later today so stay tuned. Now if you don’t mind I’m off to enjoy this most decidedly NON spring-like weather!

Miss Heather

Greenpoint Street Art Du Jour: Toy Soldiers

April 26, 2009 ·
Filed under: Greenpoint Magic, Street Art 

toy-soldiersnys

From Kent Street.

Miss Heather

Interesting Consumer Item Part I: Grand Street

April 25, 2009 ·
Filed under: Williamsburg 

Some of you might have noticed the blogging here has been sparse and erratic of late. There are several reasons for this:

A. This “on-again-off-again” love affair April is having with winter is wreaking havoc on my person.
B. Sometimes I need a break:

  1. from the “Brooklyn blogosphere”
  2. from bloggers in general (nothing personal)
  3. from my own blogging so as to…
  4. enjoy my life by indulging my own artistic inclinations and
  5. savoring the work of others.

Which brings me to this…

livenudeelf

in my “downtime” I devoured this book.* It is (and on occasion all at once) poignant, smutty and very funny. I recommend it highly. It also had a wonderful passage which I will endeavor to paraphrase here:

The way to get a man is to be perfect until you can reveal yourself for being big asshole you really are.

Jen’s probably right. But I never mastered Duplicity 101. It was not out lack of ability or training. I learned feminine wiles from the best: my tiny and insanely cute southern grandmother (who was, in fact, one of the most terrifying women I have ever met). Rather, it was my sense of honesty, abject laziness and most importantly feminism that did me in. After spending 30 years of dealing with assholes less intelligent, creative, and charismatic than myself I wanted to break the (gl)ass ceiling:

Dicks be damned…

I said to myself.

I am going to be the biggest asshole I can be!

This exercise in self-realization did wonders for my self-esteem. The same cannot be said for my dating life. Honesty is something New Yorkers (and Americans in general)  find disquieting— what’s more, they don’t want it. In the metaphorical dating pool that is New York City I was a Baby Ruth bar mistaken for a turd.

Thankfully I met my Carl. His name is Mister Heather. When I told him about a special art project I was cooking up Thursday night he took interest. What’s more, we argued about how to do it. After acquiring the most crucial components Friday I needed we still needed one vital component to pull it all together.

We’re going to Grand Street.

I said. And they did. Have what we we looking for. Along with this:

fuxing-padsnys

Too bad “FuXing” doesn’t make feminine hygiene products. I’d love nothing more than to shout at my husband in my, most delicate, female time of need:

GET ME SOME FUXING PADS!

Oh, wait. I do that already.

Miss Heather

*Jen will be part of a panel discussion today starting at 2:00 p.m.:

NY Center for Independent Publishing
NY Round Table Writers’ Conference
20 West 44th Street
New York, New York 10036

To Whom It May Concern On Green Street

car3

If you are the owner of this Honda.

car1

And are wondering why your roof is crushed in.

car2

It’s because the following two fucked-up hipsters decided to make out on your motor vehicle. It must have been a magical moment (or they simply hate imported cars) because our love birds also elected to jump up and down on it as well.

Repeatedly.

At 4:00 this morning.

Miss Heather

From The New York Shitty Photo Pool: Dreamcatcher

April 25, 2009 ·
Filed under: Street Art, Williamsburg 

dreamsmugsniffer

This delightful flight of fancy hails from Ainslie Street and comes courtesy of Mugsniffer who writes:

An industrialized dreamcatcher in Williamsburg.

A brave new dreamcatcher for a brave new world. Great shot!

Miss Heather

TODAY: Kites!

April 25, 2009 ·
Filed under: Greenpoint Magic, Williamsburg 

letsflyakite

If you have been told to “go fly a kite” recently or simply feel inclined to do so of your own volition (and have a LOT of fun) head down to McCarren Park today! The festivities kick off at noon.

Williamsburg Kite Festival
McCarren Park
Brooklyn, New York 11222

Miss Heather

New York Shitty Day Ender: Sunset

April 24, 2009 ·
Filed under: Greenpoint Magic 

quay-streetnys

From Quay Street.

Miss Heather