Express Yourself

June 2, 2009 ·
Filed under: Williamsburg 

One of the things I love about north Brooklyn is the manifold number of ways the citizens here visually express themselves. Sure, we may not have much in the way of public art— but that doesn’t mean there are not some real gems to be found here if one looks in the right places. If you do you’ll quickly learn that one need not have an art degree to create something truly memorable. It just requires a little imagination and preferably a large bay window. Case in point: this (what I presume to be) Memorial  Day tableau on Withers Street.

window1

Let’s go in for a closer look!

window2

A model of the Williamsburg Bridge replete with Christmas lights and a nine car pile-up!

window3

This has got to be one of the most remarkable window displays I have ever seen. I will definitely make it a point to swing back by at night so I can see it lit up! If you have the opportunity swing by 153 Withers Street and check it out. Seeing is truly believing!

Miss Heather

P.S.: Some of the more eagle-eyed among you might have noticed the vintage Fedders box!

From The New York Shitty Photo Pool: A Very Special Street Couch

June 2, 2009 ·
Filed under: Greenpoint Magic, Street Art 

rowan5couch2

If you could reproduce her past, would you?

rowan5couch1

Miss Heather:

If you could touch this couch, would you?

Given the fact it hails from Astral I’d say the answer is HELL NO! But the Fictionalist did, Rowan 5 captured it on her camera and thus we have preserved for all posterity of the most interesting* street couches I have ever beheld. Great catch!

Miss Heather

*And fucked up. Who or what is this person keeping as a pet? Wolverines?!?

Williamsburg Photos Du Jour: Smile!

June 2, 2009 ·
Filed under: Williamsburg 

smile

jackmary

faith

From Jackson Street.

Miss Heather

New York Shitty Day Starter: Why?

June 2, 2009 ·
Filed under: Asshole, Crazy Cat Lady, Williamsburg 

Boy I have been pissed off a lot of late. At first I chalked it up to the lousy weather and allergies. Then the weather got better and my allergies abated— only to discover I was still pissed off. I have ceased to think much of it anymore; I have noticed damned near everyone else I have encountered in the Garden Spot lately is pissed off too. Who I am to buck the community Zeitgeist?

Now throw in some serious sleep deprivation due to:

  1. one of the most obnoxious neighbors you can imagine throwing a party for 20-30 of her equally obnoxious friends*
  2. crazy people screaming on my block at all hours of the night
  3. and one of our local watering holes deciding R & B music is best enjoyed at 2:00 – 2:30 a.m. LOUDLY.

and you get one very pissed off Miss Heather indeed!

Now add this to the mix…

littleving

and I am ready to blow! What is so rage-inducing about this kitten, you ask? Well, I’ll tell you.

As I was running errands yesterday afternoon I bumped into my buddy Lisacat who, as some of you might or might not know, does a great deal of animal rescue work. She was about to pop into a wine store on Nassau Avenue when I spotted her and her ubiquitous cardboard cat carrier and I asked her what was in the box. That’s when she showed me the above little fellow she rescued in East Williamsburg and something else:

vingnys

Someone, for reasons only known to him, saw fit to shave him: ear hair, whiskers and all.

We eventually drifted onto the subject of what to name this handsome chap. Lisa suggested that since he has been shorn we name him after a famous bald person. I immediately thought of Ving Rhames, as just like in the movie Pulp Fiction this little guy has had an encounter with someone he would just as well forget (WARNING: previous link is very NSFW) and quite frankly, whoever that person is, I too would very much like to go medieval on his ass.

I will never for the life of me understand why people do shit like this. Really.

Miss Heather

*Luckily I have since learned this was a moving party. No more listening to this woman talk on her cell phone for hours on end— day or night— while sitting in her window and smoking skunkweed and no more excuses for the Mister to walk around the apartment with no clothes on. Hallelujah!

New York Shitty Day Ender: Street Eats

June 1, 2009 ·
Filed under: Greenpoint Magic 

streeteatsnys

This bit of al fresco dining (which consists of four slices of white bread and a bottle of mineral water) hails from Eagle Street.

Miss Heather

From The New York Shitty Inbox: Two Weekends

June 1, 2009 ·
Filed under: Crosstown Local, Greenpoint Magic 

serviceannouncement

This missive comes courtesy of the Mister via an email entitled “Good Morning”. Clearly for some G train patron brandishing a felt tip pen it was anything but.

Miss Heather

An East Williamsburg PSA

June 1, 2009 ·
Filed under: Williamsburg 

hunks

Depending on one’s take on the word “hunks” someone on Jackson Street likes— or dislikes— Tom Hanks.

A LOT.

Miss Heather

Audience Participation Time: The Ugliest Building In Brooklyn?

June 1, 2009 ·
Filed under: Greenpoint Magic, Queens, Williamsburg 

numberoneuglyautumnsol Ever since I posted the good news about the L Haus winning the #1 Ugliest Building in Queens my inbox (and incoming links) have been interesting to say the least.

Laura writes:

…regarding the ugliest building in Queens. Love it.  Let’s do Greenpoint! Here’s my nominee, the one with the bulls eye. On memorial day my grandson was trying to shoot it with spit balls…

The building of which she speaks— 20 Bayard Street— is, unfortunately, located in Williamsburg. But Brooklyn11211 does a pretty good job of eviscerating it for the pile of shit it is. Halden volleyed the first proverbial spitball at this glass house. So to speak.

Now my buddy over in Queens has gotten into the swing of things. One commenter, Timothy, wrote:

There are some nasty McMansions near me that might qualify as Queens Fugliest. I think we should have a real contest!

I agree. We need a real contest. A Brooklyn versus Queens smack-down of fug infamy— or outer-borough barfchitecture. To this end I have created this flickr group and will get the ball rolling  with my nominee: The Luminous.

the-luminousnys

This colossal pile of crap can be found on Richardson Street, Brooklyn 11222. It is the brain child of Karl Fischer Robert Scarano— who is all too eager to exploit “modification permits” when the mood (and/or money) suits him. The above (and strangely incongruous) brick facade was once a building. As you can see it has been given a new lease on life: the frontispiece and justification for this bigass pile of King’s crap! I for one am very fond of the beam left intact to support the adjacent buildings.

awningnys

But this half-assed awning (which doesn’t even cover the entire doorway) comes in a close second.

luminous-and-neighbornys

Lovely. As I was taking the above photograph an old-timer painting his garage across the street asked:

Don’t you want to take my picture?

I replied:

Sure. I’d much rather take a photograph of you than that THING across the street.

So I did.

man-painting-on-richardson-streetnys

I might end up in the Greenpoint Gazette!

he said. I told him it was a distinct possibility— and that he might become a celebrity. He laughed heartily.

In any case this my inaugural piece of King’s crap to get this bi-borough rumble going.

Hear me, Crappy? Let’s get it on!

Miss Heather

East Williamsburg Photo Du Jour: Summer Time…

June 1, 2009 ·
Filed under: Williamsburg 

caffecaprinys

and the living’s easy at Caffe Capri!

Miss Heather

New York Shitty Day Starter: Rattus Garden Spottus

June 1, 2009 ·
Filed under: Crosstown Local, Greenpoint Magic 

From the Smith – 9th bound platform at Nassau Avenue.

Miss Heather