New York Shitty Slide Show Du Jour: Morris Parkitecture

August 30, 2009 ·
Filed under: Bronx 

Van NestNYS

One of the cool things about Morris Park is a walk around the neighborhood is like going back in time. Many of its storefronts have hardly been touched in 30, 40 and perhaps even 50 years. Follows is a selection of my favorite sights from today’s day trip. Enjoy!

Tomorrow I will conclude my Morris Park sojourn with a little food porn.

Miss Heather

Morris Park Photos Du Jour: Signs

August 30, 2009 ·
Filed under: Bloomblight, Bronx, Dog Shit Signage 

As I indicated previously, today the Mister and I took our “staycation” to the Bronx. The objective of this trip was partake of real, honest-to-god Italian food in New York City’s lesser known “Little Italy”. I will go into the gustatory part of our trip a little later. This post is going to focus on the great variety of signage to be found in my former stomping grounds.

There were plenty run-of-the-mill signs of pick up your dog poo/stay of my lawn variety to be certain. On the other hand there were a quite few that stood head and shoulders above the others— or simply made you scratch your head and say “What the fuck”? Enjoy!

White Plains Road

JC

walk

This is not a sign per se, but it does make light of a failure to communicate.

obamaspecial

Morris Park Avenue

stimulus

A very Morris Park stimulus plan.

WOW

It’s the economy stupid!

I cannot find the words to describe this one. That’s why I shot video instead!

BTU

MJ and BTUS

nohangie

Not here to shop? If so, this bodega says beat it!

Haight Avenue

kamikaze

weheart

DONOT

Rhinelander Avenue

Rhinelander

blight

This sight made me feel right at home.

fuck

Nothing like some good ol’ Bloomblight to bring two boroughs together! (For those of you who are wondering, the inside looks even worse than the outside.) But back to signs— and the strangest pair of messages I have ever seen gracing a single storefront. The following hail from 1084 Morris Park Avenue.

YOUGET

Sure, this one seems simple enough— but look at its companion found six feet to the left.

HIV

The stars-n-stripes, Lady Liberty and… HIV?

And with this puzzler I will conclude this installment of my Morris Park adventure. Next up: a selection of Morrisparkitecture. Stay tuned!

Miss Heather




Williamsburg Street Art Du Jour: McNuglets

August 30, 2009 ·
Filed under: 11211, Street Art, Williamsburg, Williamsburg Brooklyn 

mcnuglets

From Union Avenue.

Miss Heather

New York Shitty Day Starter: Dog Days Of August

dog

Grattan Street

2dogs

Morgan Avenue

3dogs

Manhattan Avenue

Miss Heather

New York Shitty Day Ender: East Village Slideshow

August 29, 2009 ·
Filed under: Manhattan, New York City 

wedidNYS

As I mentioned earlier yesterday the Mister and I sojourned around the East Village as part of our summer “vacation”. Follow are some photographic highlights from our trip. Enjoy!

Closing on a non-Greenpoint note, tomorrow we will be visiting one of my favorite places (other than the Garden Spot): the Bronx. You can anticipate some blue chip food porn from our journey. Stay tuned!

Miss Heather

Subway Photos Du Jour: Fear, Loathing, Love & Beef

August 29, 2009 ·
Filed under: 11211, Crosstown Local, Culture War 

canarsielocal

livelovelaugh

ROBOTS

Lorimer Street stop of the L.

Best Beef

Metropolitan Avenue stop of the G.

Miss Heather

East Williamsburg Street Art Du Jour: Marilyn

August 29, 2009 ·
Filed under: 11206, Bushwick, East Williamsburg, East Williamsburg Brooklyn, Street Art 

Marilyn

From Seigel Street.

Miss Heather

Word Of The Day: Clusterfuck

August 29, 2009 ·
Filed under: Manhattan 

Per Urban Dictionary:

Traditionally/originally of military origin.

Today, however, “clusterfuck” is commonly used to descriptively generalize any situation with a large scale of disarray.

possibly synonyms: mess, disaster
1. “Well, that concert was a clusterfuck.”
2. “Did you see the clusterfuck of a traffic jam on Main St.?”
3. “That house party turned into a giant clusterfuck once those cops showed up!”

4. See: East 3 Street between Avenue A and Avenue B.

heap

detail1

detail2

detail3

I have a confession to make: inasmuch as I hate bicycles (or after the local entrepreneurs thieves get to them: carcasses of bicycles) piled chock-a-block on street signs I rather like this.

Miss Heather

Greenpoint Photo Du Jour: Hasta La Vista, Venus

August 29, 2009 ·
Filed under: 11222, Greenpoint, Greenpoint Brooklyn, Greenpoint Magic 

aphrodite

From Green Street.

Miss Heather

New York Shitty Day Starter: Change You Can Believe In

August 29, 2009 ·
Filed under: Advanced Life Forms, Manhattan 

Sanloco

Last night the Mister and I entertained a visiting friend in the East Village. One of the stops on our itinerary was the San Loco on Avenue A, as one of my best friends, Rachael, was scheduled to bar tend there. San Loco means “saint crazy” in Spanish; this is rather apropos given Rachael usually works the closing shift and as a result interfaces with— how should I say— the more eccentric elements to be found in the East Village. Whenever we meet up she always has a “goodie bag” of stuff she has collected and many a good story to tell.

This evening was no exception— what’s more I learned about a previously unknown candidate in the Mayoral race: Albert Duffy.

bloombergbombNYS

But he prefers to be called the “Bloomberg Bomb”. I think. It’s sort of hard to tell:

As your mayor, I will always protect my constituent’s like all like all N.Y.C. BOROUGH presidents, Council members and LAW MAKER’s. Who all have thier (sic) hands DEEP in my POCKETS. Me and my “bluBillion Dollar Blue Boys “own and control ALBANY and will continue to manipulate, ABUSE and DEMORALIZE every sector of society. Especially the personnel of the FDNY/NYPD. Call me a “Bloomberg BOMB”!…

On the other side of this flier (both of which can be seen in larger format by clicking on the the above or following image) is a tome entitled “If I Were Mayor of New York City”) which outlines Mr. Duffy’s/The New American Freedom Party Are all mentally ill’s platform for reform.

ifiweremayorNYS

My favorite passages are as follows:

We would organize a committee to amend the Constitution to reward anyone who gives back to our country by joining our military. We would guarantee that if anyone dedicates themselves for the safety and protection of our freedom, and becomes disabled, all their needs will be taken care of. Like free medical/hospitalization, employment training, job placement opportunities, adequate housing and free public transportation.

It would appear that this chap has not heard of the Veteran’s Association. Then again, maybe he has: it’s not like they have gotten much positive publicity of late. As for the matter of public transportation, our mayoral aspirant has some rather interesting ideas on that front:

We would organize a committee to design and construct a (free) Monorail System that will replace the old failing system that we presently depend upon.

And lastly, the coup de grâce:

We would organize a committee to amend smoker’s rights and designate smoking areas in all NYC Irish Pubs, Taverns and Restaurants. (Ed. Note: emphasis mine)  If you don’t like it? Go outside.

If this sounds like the kind of change you want to see in our fair city come November, dear readers, you should note that Mr. Duffy was thoughtful enough to provide a bank account number for interested donors at the end of his mission statement. The more eagle-eyed among you might have also noticed that this is “Part 1″ of his xerographic campaign for mayor. This would suggest there will be a “Part 2″ and maybe even a “Part 3″.

I can hardly wait.

Miss Heather