A New York Shitty Love Connection

CORNrowanTHUMBSome of you might have gathered from the preponderance of non-Greenpoint content of late that I have been lurking our fair city. This is because my inlaws are in town and they want to see the sights, sounds, and yes, SMELLS of the Big Apple during their brief stay.* Fortunately I have my good friend Rowan and Crappy to keep me in an “outer borough” state of mind.

It all started with a corn stalk (which can be seen at left). My inlaws happen to reside in Iowa. Corn is very common there. Corn is not, however, very common in Greenpoint (which is where this stalk was found). More specifically it was found on Bushwick Inlet between North 14 Street and North 15 Street: an ill-kept, trash ridden sidewalk which sits atop brownfield.

I found this fascinating. Enough so to write a post about it. A week later I walked by only to discover that someone had killed the corn— and the cobs were nowhere to be found.

Rowan (who provided the above photograph) wrote on September 28, 2009:

Saturday evening, around 6:30pm, I decided to check the corn plant. It’s broken in two. Photos to come, but I’m a bit sad that someone destroyed it. Also the Marlboro packet was still there.

To wit I replied:

I noticed that today. Even more frightening is the corn appears to have been taken. Presumably someone ate it. YIKES!

This morning I had the pleasure of moderating Rowan’s rebuttal:

Someone’s going to have very toxic corn poops.

Shortly thereafter I received an ominous email from Queens Crap. It read as follows:

Do you, in your vast annals of dog shit photos, happen to have one that’s laden with corn? If not, you will when I get home from work tonight.

I replied that I did not have such a find in my “vast annals”. Follows is Crappy’s reply:

You won’t be disappointed.

I wasn’t.


This delightful artifact was found at the intersection of DeKalb and Cypress Avenue in Ridgewood. It is proof positive that my buddy across the creek knows blue chip crap when he finds it.


Miss Heather

*And they most, assuredly have. They walked by the Newtown Creek Waste Treatment Plant on Thursday afternoon and partook of a particularly fragrant subway ride today.


3 Comments on A New York Shitty Love Connection

  1. charlesv on Sat, 3rd Oct 2009 6:18 am
  2. The shittiest of new york shitty!

  3. queenscrapper on Sat, 3rd Oct 2009 2:21 pm
  4. Someone actually de-friended me on FaceBook after I posted this because they were offended. That someone was selfish enough to actually leave a big dog turd pile in my path was more offensive, in my opinion.

  5. no no on Sat, 3rd Oct 2009 3:23 pm
  6. Creepy. You might have some kind of a corn stalker situation here.

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