New York Shitty Day Ender: Miss Heather Does A Good Deed

October 14, 2009 by
Filed under: Boobification, Bum Shit, Dung of the Day, Manhattan, Other Shit 

Today, dear readers, I did something I rarely do: go to the movies. This much-needed bit of recreation entailed me doing something else I do not do very often: going to Manhattan. Murray Hill, no less. (What can I say? I find Woody Harrelson brandishing firearms irresistible.)

Anyhoo, after deciding in favor of getting a little walking in I got off at the 1st Avenue stop of the L. As I proceeded further north I began to realize I was not in Greenpoint anymore. I felt uncomfortable. People were staring at me. Thankfully, at 24th Street I saw something that made me feel right at home.

pay phone

As you are all too aware I have a “thing” for pay phones. I cannot pass one without looking at it. The above example was no exception.

INCOMING

Incoming ordnance at twelve o’ clock!

damn

Crikey, Verizon took a direct hit!

After I took the above photograph a livery cab pulled up beside me and a 40-something gentleman made a bee line for this telephone.

Me: Dude!
40-something Gentleman: (picks up receiver)
ME: DUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUDE!
40-sG: (turns around)
Me: Don’t use that pay phone! Someone took a shit on it!!!
40s-G: (slowly turns around and, after noticing that someone has indeed despoiled said pay phone, let’s it slide from his hand.)
Me: That’s why I was taking photographs of it. SOMEONE SHIT ON IT!
40s-G: Thank you! Thank you! (starts heading back to livery cab)
Me: No problem. Do me a favor, okay?
40s-G: What?
Me: Please wash your hands as soon as you can, okay? I mean, someone SHIT on that phone. God only knows what else is on there we can’t see.
40s-G: I will, thank you!

With that closing remark and the slam of a cab door he was on his way. And I was on mine. Which brings me to what I found two blocks later.

condomphone

Miss Heather

P.S.: I felt so good about my good deed today I decided to make a little detour and purchase myself a treat!

bodhiandtheboobs

That’s right, kids. Project: Boobification is back! Methinks I’ll name the left one “Bill” and the right one “Mike”!

Comments

6 Comments on New York Shitty Day Ender: Miss Heather Does A Good Deed

  1. Xris (Flatbush Gardener) on Wed, 14th Oct 2009 9:24 pm
  2. Kitty!

  3. missheather on Wed, 14th Oct 2009 9:30 pm
  4. Bodhi!

  5. bestviewinbrooklyn on Thu, 15th Oct 2009 7:40 am
  6. Well done. That was quite a dump. I haven’t noticed too much poop on the phones around here; it’s mainly in building corners.

  7. jayspec on Thu, 15th Oct 2009 7:57 am
  8. I’m sorry, but you can’t name the left one “Bill” and the right one “Mike” unless the right one is sixteen times bigger than the left, and is ensconced in a gold-plated bra-cup.

  9. bitchcakes on Sun, 18th Oct 2009 6:42 pm
  10. ewwwwwwwww! OMG I’m nauseous!!! But excited about future boobifications. And what a handsome little face on that Bodhi!

  11. Spanky on Wed, 21st Oct 2009 1:34 pm
  12. I love this website because it shows me what I will not be missing when I finally leave NYC for good.

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