Dung of the Day

February 8, 2007 by
Filed under: Dog Shit, Dung of the Day 

Today’s “Dung of the Day” can be found in front of the Murder Bar (better known to non-locals as “Tommy’s Tavern”) on Freeman Street at Manhattan Avenue.

Smooshy Poop

Shitastic!

Otherwise, I have parsed through Cafe Press’s merchandising opportunities (for New York Shitty) and found the following products of particular interest:

  1. Doggie coats: for the obvious reasons.
  2. Baby bibs: because what goes in the front inevitably finds its way out the back. I’m considering offering a rebate to Park Slope parents if they purchase and USE this item. Naturally, I will demand photographic evidence that the latter came to pass.
  3. Postage stamps: pay off your student loans with style!
  4. Thong underwear: although I have never been a fan of them, emblazoning the front of fannie floss with a pile of shit makes a certain amount of sense. Consider it a harbinger of things to come because I have little doubt that poo is exactly what you’ll find on the business end after you peel them off the wearer.

    And (to shamelessly steal a quip from Vice Magazine) I will not shave my hairy ass before modelling them. Perhaps I’ll even pull a Farrah and select a pair that is two sizes smaller to better showcase my assets.

This is not an idle threat: it’s a promise.

Hugs and pisses,

Miss Heather

Comments

One Comment on Dung of the Day

  1. scaredy_kat on Sun, 11th Feb 2007 6:03 pm
  2. As much as I love shit (truly–I live on the shittiest street in Carroll Gardens), I want more Chicken Bone Calvalcade (no comments are allowed on that page which is why I’m blabbing off topic here). I’ve been in NYC nearly a decade and I’m still impressed/horrified by the amount of chicken bones on the ground.I thought it was a local only thing until I saw sidewalk bones in Nashville a few years ago.

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