Mary D’s Housing for Seniors

January 22, 2007 by
Filed under: Chicken Bones, Crap Map, Dog Shit 

I have often wondered why there is so much dog shit on Dupont Street. Of all the blocks in my part of the ‘hood, Dupont is by and far the worst when it comes to crap. It’s fucking gross.

My initial theory was that dog owners were letting their canines crap with total abandon behind the old folks home (Mary D’s). And after last week’s fact-finding mission, I determined this to be true. What is surprising is WHO the statistics suggest as being the responsible for this doggie doo death gauntlet. Read on and draw your own conclusions.

The area I covered was a small one: Clay, Dupont, Eagle and Freeman Streets between Manhattan Avenue and Franklin Street. How much shit did I find? A LOT.

Shit by Street

SEVENTY PILES OF SHIT IN FOUR BLOCKS.

Note: These are conservative figures. I often encountered mounds of dog shit and was forced to estimate how many separate bowel movements were present.

Mary D's

The above pie chart illustrates how much dog shit was found on/adjacent to Mary D’s versus the rest of the block. What is especially telling was the amount of shit located immediately outside and DIRECTLY ACROSS THE STREET from the rear exit of this facility (at 80 Dupont Street).

God I hope it was dog shit I saw back there; what kind of place are these people running?!? Maybe this is a new part of President Bush’s Medicare Plan? Hell if I know— and I don’t think I want to find out.

Elder abuse concerns aside, here’s a brand-spanking new “Crap Map” for your entertainment.

Enjoy!

Miss Heather

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