Clinton Hill Represents

March 18, 2007 by
Filed under: Dog Shit 

The one thing that constantly amazes me about the dog shit problem in New York Shitty is that many people will complain about it, but few, very few, will actually step up to the plate. Shit or get off the pot— or more accurately, PUT UP OR SHUT UP!

I have parsed through enough chat rooms (where Brooklynites piss and moan ad nauseum about unattended dog poo in their respective ‘hoods) to become a bona fide shit cynic. Perhaps even a dog shit snob. “How bad can it possibly be in comparison to, say, Dupont Street, McGuinness Boulevard or THIS?” I ask myself. With good reason: Magic Johnson may very well pimp fund much of my block to build luxury condos, but I doubt he has enough ‘magic’ to motivate canines and humanoids not defecate here. And they do. A LOT.

My inner ‘Doubting Thomas’ was confirmed by the numerous comments I encountered from Prospect Heighters that had a distinctly vigilante tone, e.g.; take the offender’s picture and post it online, etc. Dime store Dirty Harrys (of dog shit). I have no doubt that these idle threats were issued from the comfort of air-conditioned (and dog shit free) cubicles contained within the numerous corporate dungeons that populate our fine city. The last time I went to Prospect Heights I got the distinct impression that it had become Park Slope Lite: a Park Slope for people too light on cash to live in Park Slope.* But I digress…

I, the Dog Shit Queen of Greenpoint, prefer to condemn the behavior, not the person— and get a few chuckles along the way. Which brings me to…

last week when Robin Lester of the Clinton Hill Blog responded to my solicitation for shit. She wrote:

Haven’t forgotten about sending the pics! I took a good crop this morning, so I should be able to send them tonight w/ info.

And she delivered:

All (were) taken on the west side of Waverly Avenue between Lafayette and Willoughby (2 blocks only), Clinton Hill, Brooklyn.

For those of you who are unfamiliar with the area in question, here it is:

Clinton Hill Shit

And here is what she sent me…

Clinton Hill one

One shit.

Clinton Hill two

Two shits.

Clinton Hill three

Three shits…

Clinton Hill four


Clinton Hill five

Five turds, six turds, seven turds and…

Clinton Hill six


Clinton Hill seven


Clinton Hill eight


Clinton Hill nine

Miss Heather

*This criticism is NOT directed at the earning power of Prospect Heights residents. I could care less about that (and I am undoubtedly much more poor than they are anyway). I hate the attitude— and the stroller moms. This ‘nabe is INCREDIBLY cool in its own right— why sully it by affecting Park Slope manners?

P.S.: Robin, give a shout out to Rosie Perez for me if/when you see her. She is fabulous. And, oh yeah, thanks for the shit!


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