LAST GASP: Going Downtown
Filed under: 10003, 10009, 10012, BAD ASS, East Village, East Village Manhattan, Lower East Side, Lower East Side Manhattan
I imagine many of you went to the Brooklyn Bridge or further afield to watch the fireworks this evening. Yours truly did not. My goal for this weekend was (and still is) to get a little rest and relaxation. So instead of braving the crowds the Mister and I donned our nattiest apparel (as you can see at left) and headed to the Lower East Side. As it would happen a good friend of ours, Rachael, was slated to bar tend there this evening. Catching up with a good friend is nice. Doing so over free drinks, well, that’s a deal only an idiot would refuse. But I digress.
Although we had not planned on seeing any fireworks this evening we did: albeit not of the variety one usually associates with this, our nation’s birthday. The event of which I speak came to pass at the intersection of Allen and Houston Street. The players in this morality tale are a New York City bus driver and a woman driving a SUV. Sports Utility Vehicle. Before I proceed to today’s short film I want to make it known:
1. Over the years I have come to detest automobiles. This is in some part due to the fact I was hit by one three days before I got married.
2. I harbor an especially dark hatred of SUVS. My reasons for this are many but to name a few:
a. They are colossal gas guzzlers and as such as not only wasting a very limited (and therefore valuable) resource but in so doing they are giving money to countries whose take on “human rights” is abysmal— especially in regards to woman— and harbor individuals who would like to see our country wiped off the face of the earth. This is being anything but patriotic.
b. British Petroleum. Enough said.
c. On a more practical and less ideological level; the people who drive such vehicles in New York City are among the worst drivers I have ever seen. Period. In fact, I have developed a theory about them. It goes as follows:
The larger the vehicle, the more stupid and/or assholic the driver.
Suffice it to say today my little theory got some pretty compelling supporting evidence. Without further ado here it is: a MTA bus driver versus a woman in a SUV. I think it goes without saying who won this heavyweight bout. Added bonus: when the woman (who the bus driver refers to as a “fucking genius”) finally gets the point the dude wearing an i-Pod— who seems to obvious the street theater going on in his midst— almost walks in front of her. Nice.
Miss Heather to the MTA: give this man a raise!