From My Friend Crappy

December 8, 2008 by
Filed under: Greenpoint Magic, Queens, Williamsburg 

One subject of conversation at the junk shop I am rapidly tiring of is the subject of female drivers. Larry da Junkman and Steve are of the impression north Brooklyn’s women drivers are among the worst to be found anywhere. I, being the good little feminist I am, emphatically disagree: all north Brooklyn drivers, regardless of gender, are pretty damned bad. On any given day —at the bat of an eyelash —a pedestrian’s or G train commuter’s life crossing a street can become an outtake from Death Race 2000. I myself have beheld the result of the Greenpoint driver. It isn’t pretty. But back to gender politics and an item my buddy over at Queens Crap recently brought to my attention.

If women drivers are so bad here why are both the motorists who have managed to drive into Newtown Creek male. Yes, I just said “both”. It happened again last month folks, but this time the driver was able to walked/swam away from the incident. Literally. On November 27, 2008 Times News Daily writes:

Police said that 21-year-old Brian Espinal of South Third Street in Williamsburg was taken into custody on reckless endangerment charges after he returned to the scene of the accident while emergency personnel scoured the creek for possible victims.

Authorities later determined that Espinal was alone inside his vehicle at the time of the accident.

Law enforcement sources said the accident occurred at around 6:40 a.m. Sunday morning along Metropolitan Avenue near Scott Avenue.

Reportedly, Espinal was behind the wheel of a 1997 Toyota Camry traveling eastbound along Metropolitan Avenue.

According to information obtained by police, the suspect was observed allegedly traveling at a high rate of speed, crossing over the double-yellow line and dodging oncoming traffic.

Moments later, law enforcement sources said, the suspect’s vehicle lost control and crashed into the guardrail before splashing into the Newtown Creek.

Following the crash, police noted, the suspect exited his vehicle, waded back to the shore and made his way back onto the avenue on foot. Reportedly, he hailed a livery cab traveling on Metropolitan Avenue and fled from the scene…

You can read the story in its entirely by clicking here. Otherwise I would like to close with a couple thoughts:

  1. Can you imagine how bad that livery cab must have smelled after having Mr. Espinal as a fare?
  2. Are there any daring women out there who would like to  (wo)man a four-wheel U-boat on a one-way journey into Newtown Creek in the the interest of gender equality?* If so you better get cracking: there’s only three weeks left of 2008!

Miss Heather

*This is satire.

Photo Credit: Times News Daily.


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