Musings Of A Junk Chick

January 29, 2009 by
Filed under: Greenpoint Magic 

thething

Yesterday I got to do something I suspect not too many people have the pleasure of doing nowadays: declining a job offer. Well I suppose it was more like declining the opportunity to discuss a job offer. Unlike a number of businesses a former employer of mine is thriving. So much so he had created a new position; one he felt I would fill splendidly. I probably would. However, it would probably entail curbing my “creative” endeavors in a very substantial manner. This is something I simply cannot and will not do. Besides, I am perfectly content at my other “job”.

Working at a junk store does not pay $50,000 dollars a year but this is not to suggest it doesn’t have its perks. For starters I am under no obligation whatsoever to be nice to a customer if he or she is behaving in a belligerent manner. Just today I slammed the door in the face of a man who would not shut up. I am not going to lie to you: it felt good. In addition my boss Larry has a great sense of humor. One of his favorite things to do is to tuck items of a very special nature in and around the area I am entrusted to tidy up. This too came to pass today.

basket

This is one of the baskets gracing the jewelry counter. As you can clearly see there some photographs have been placed in it. Let’s take a look, shall we?

mashedbananas

A pair of woman’s feet mashing overripe bananas on a plate. Yummy. Hmm, what else do we have here?

dirty-feet

A juicy close-up of a dirty pair of woman’s feet. Even better. I found a great many more photographs of this ilk today. Follows is a selection of my personal favorites. Enjoy!

inthepark

I call this one “Barefoot In The Park”.

atlanticcity

Isn’t this Atlantic City?

spicegirl

This brings a whole new meaning to “Spice Girl”.

hulkamania

Oh my.

hulkhogan

HULK-A-MANIA!

freddy-krueger

Freddy Krueger too?!? Say it ain’t so Joe…

creamyfeet

Um, ok.

tonka

Built Tonka tough!

nasty

AGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!

But to get back to the purpose of this post: there are some things you simply cannot put cash value on. Yours truly places high premium on entertainment. This is one of the many reasons I live in Greenpoint. I also fancy myself to be an urban anthropologist. The stuff that comes (and goes) from the store is not just clutter to me: it is a telling testament of the human condition. Which bring me to this.

bigbird

…Snuffleupagus moved the rock on the third day, freeing the Chosen Bird to do His father’s bidding.*

(priceless)

Miss Heather

*Note this comes courtesy of dc108 (see comments). I loved it so much I amended this post.

Comments

13 Comments on Musings Of A Junk Chick

  1. amandabee on Thu, 29th Jan 2009 5:39 pm
  2. those are the longest toenails I’ve ever seen. Does that just mean I don’t get out much?

  3. missheather on Thu, 29th Jan 2009 5:44 pm
  4. I think it is more a matter of being in the right social circle. If all the photographs I have (and there are at least 50 of them) are any indication, a desire to be hung from a rack (while wearing a gimp mask) or being into chicks wearing enormous strap-ons will get you in like Flynn.

  5. rowan on Thu, 29th Jan 2009 7:48 pm
  6. that is truly disturbing. more so the fact that someone really worships this woman’s grody feet than the pictures themselves. though i do like her anklets.

  7. dc108 on Thu, 29th Jan 2009 8:16 pm
  8. Snuffleupagus moved the rock on the third day, freeing the Chosen Bird to do His father’s bidding.

  9. d on Fri, 30th Jan 2009 12:09 am
  10. First of all, I love that Rowan said “grody.” I haven’t heard that in ages. That said, it’s great to see the photos you told us about. They are even more spectacularly disgusting than I could’ve imagined. The dirty soles, the length of the nails, the squooshed bananas, the action figure stepping…this is truly EPIC stuff.

  11. bitchcakes on Fri, 30th Jan 2009 9:22 am
  12. Please tell me that painting is now hanging in your apartment. If not, I want to come buy it.

  13. bestviewinbrooklyn on Fri, 30th Jan 2009 11:25 am
  14. I like them. They tell a story. I’m not sure how the story ends, but I think the Tonka photo is the climax.

  15. missheather on Fri, 30th Jan 2009 2:01 pm
  16. It is hanging in our bathroom. Methinks I’ll finish the painting and place it for sale.

  17. judes on Fri, 30th Jan 2009 2:44 pm
  18. Whoa! How does she even wear shoes with toenails that long? She must have to go up a size to avoid pain. Though her man (and you know it’s not a woman taking those pics!) probably likes her feet bare. Which I suppose is why they’re so filthy. You guys must go through Purell by the truckload!

  19. Tony From Kent Street on Fri, 30th Jan 2009 2:54 pm
  20. I just got laid off. Send the job opening to me!

  21. missheather on Fri, 30th Jan 2009 3:55 pm
  22. ARE YOU SERIOUS (about being laid off)?!? I’m really sorry.

  23. gubatron on Sat, 31st Jan 2009 2:18 pm
  24. “I also fancy myself to be an urban anthropologist”
    I wish my mom would speak good english and be your friend, she has a master and ph.d in “Urban Anthropology”, lol.

    It’s so amazing the kind of shit she’ll notice about people when we go out on the street. For instance, we were walking the other day on Bedford Ave. and in one of those Urban Anthropology curious moments of her, she turns and tells me:

    “Did you see that guy in that basement? He was watching porn on his computer, I think he was jerking off”

    Lol… how the hell did she see that? Only on Bedford ave.

  25. dc108 on Sat, 31st Jan 2009 10:33 pm
  26. Thanks for the kind mention in your amendment. Also, I’m glad you bought it because if you hadn’t, I might have made the drive in to BK to pick it up myself.

    You could/should sell copies of that and live comfortably for the rest of your life, it’s that damn epic.

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