The Man, The Legend, “The McGuinness”

September 4, 2007 by
Filed under: Greenpoint Magic 

I have spent the last week looking for an image of Greenpoint’s very own Pete McGuinness. My reasons for doing so cannot be disclosed at this time; let’s just say it is for an art project. Though not usable for my purpose, I did find a picture of him in the New York Times online archives. He was rather substantially-built dude.

The McGuinness

Many of you will recognize the man in the center of this photo: it is Fiorello LaGuardia. He and “The Fighting Alderman of Greenpoint” were buddies. This is certainly clear in the story this image accompanies from the July 13, 1934 edition of the New York Times. It is also very evident that Pete couldn’t pitch a baseball for shit. Enjoy!

July 13, 1934 NYT

Poor Pete didn’t even win the Fat Man’s Race. Then again, carrying what appears to be a flask in one’s right pocket (or is he just happy to see me?*) can be an impediment.

Miss Heather

*On a related note, I discovered a most amazing novelty item at Babeland yesterday. I can put to such a tool to good use. After packing that seven inches of heat (anything less would be a waste of my time) into a pair of stretch pants I will endeavor to ride the subway. I’ll be sure to spread my legs as wide as possible so as to air out my newly-acquired manhood alongside all the other He-Men.

The elderly, pregnant and infirm be damned! If they want a seat they should buy their own nut sack. I may not have been born into a life of masculine privilege, but that’s okay. At $22.00 (plus shipping and handling) it’s pretty affordable nowadays. To bastardize Barbizon Modeling School’s slogan:

Be an asshole… or just look like one!

Maybe I’ll even whip it out and take a whiz by the Park Slope Barnes & Noble like this guy.


2 Comments on The Man, The Legend, “The McGuinness”

  1. al oof on Tue, 4th Sep 2007 3:53 pm
  2. i’ve actually always wanted a soft pack. just to wear around, feel some reasonable facsimile of having a cock. i hadn’t thought about being able to take up 2 or 3 seats on the train though. bonus! still, not the real thing, so it sticking it in pudding wouldn’t have the same appeal that my fantasies of actual cock having have.

  3. missheather on Tue, 4th Sep 2007 4:22 pm
  4. Al oof: I love you.

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