Halloween Decorations du Jour: Holy Shit on Humboldt Street
Earlier this week I received an email tip from a newbie New York Shitty reader named Ben. He wrote:
Hi Miss Heather —
I stumbled upon your blog a few weeks ago, and I really enjoy it (I’m a Greenpoint resident myself, formerly Diamond Street, currently Jewel).
Apologies if you’ve covered this already and I’ve somehow missed it, but there are absolutely phenomenal Halloween decorations at 652 Humboldt — a massive top-to-bottom display of all kinds of crazy stuff. I’m sure some pictures of it would look great on the blog…
Well, I walked down there yesterday to check it out. I forgot the exact address, but then again I didn’t really need it. Even at a distance it was pretty obvious which house he was talking about.
I have said time and time again that Greenpoint is the coolest fucking place in the universe. And I every time I have said this I have meant it. The disbelievers among you who wonder why anyone would feel this way about the Garden Spot need only behold the following photograph. It pretty much says it all.
These folks managed to outfit this most unhappy chap with a pump so he vomits a continuous stream of blood into a barrel. Could you imagine what would happen if someone installed such a thing in Park Slope? There’d be a fucking riot, that’s what!
Navy Seals would have to be brought in to extract all wadded up panties out of the sanctimonious ass cracks of stroller moms block by block. It would be chaos. Total and utter chaos. Sort of like Compton —except with a lot of rich white people brandishing attorneys instead of Uzis.
Yes, there really is a house underneath all this stuff. I can honestly say this is the most mind-blowing Halloween display I have ever seen. It literally left me speechless.
The previous photographs do not do this masterpiece justice. Those of you who have the means really should check this out in person. It is unbeFUCKINGlievable. Or, you can click here and check out my Flickr photo set. Take my word for it: it’ll be the coolest waste of your employer’s time you’re going to find on the Internets today.