From The New York Shitty Inbox: Helicopters?

Shashi writes:

know anything about those incessant helicopters over greenpoint from 6-7:30 in the morning? traffic copters? how does one complain about them?

Truth be told Shashi, I am not 100% clear on what your recourse is. However if you are writing in reference to the helicopters flying around the waterfront this morning methinks I can give you answer. I have it on very good intelligence that our very own Mayor was in the far north Garden Spot conducting some kind of dog and pony show which we will undoubtedly be subjected to in the near future. I am certain the message will (more or less) be:

Everything’s just great!

Had our fearless leader bothered to actually step out where the common peasants live he would quickly ascertain things most decidedly are not.


Looks like the natives are getting restless.


I hate Greenpoint Nazis.

Some of my colleagues amplifiers in the print media might have noticed I have given no indication whatsoever as to where either of the previous items are to be found. You can rest assured they are in Greenpoint and the lack of naming their specific locations was no oversight on my part. If you are going to earn your livelihood plagiarizing my work I’m going to make good and damned sure to make you work for it.

Now that I have undoubtedly sent a pack of hack reporters scurrying around the Garden Spot looking for Nazi lamp posts*, do you have any advice, dear readers as to how Shashi should handle her noise problem? My educated guess is she needs to call 311 and file a complaint with the Department of Environmental Protection.

Miss Heather

*Oh yeah— if think you’re being clever by referencing the comment Tony left on this post:

This is much better than the swastikas I’ve been noticing on lamp post bases lately… just saw another today on Nassau @ Russell.

You’re not. As of 3:00 this afternoon there were no swastikas whatsoever to be found at this location. My guess is (given the police presence I saw there) they had been made note of and removed. Happy hunting!


2 Comments on From The New York Shitty Inbox: Helicopters?

  1. AMOJA on Wed, 9th Sep 2009 7:03 am
  2. I have noticed an increased presence of helicopters lately on my walk to work, but I think yesterday morning’s ‘copters were due to a three-alarm fire on 27th St. in LIC. They were in full effect those exact hours that Shashi mentioned.

  3. walrustaco on Wed, 9th Sep 2009 7:10 am
  4. Those were swastikas? I thought they were Greenpoint chromosomes. Or two lines having sex.

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