From The New York Shitty Inbox: Special Halloween Edition

trickortreatersToday was a very busy day.

First it was awakening to the sound of our cat Frances rather noisy preamble before vomiting upon a pile of books. I managed to move her before she discharged a solitary, runny and repulsive fur bullet. In so doing  we (this was a team effort) managed to knock over a glass of water and ruin some photographs I had laying around. This is not the way I like to start my day. But sometimes that’s the way the kitty cookie crumbles.

After hammering away on the” blog” I rushed to McCarren Park to judge this year’s contestants for the 3rd Annual District Dog Halloween Parade and Costume Contest. I will not lie to you (and I suspect my fellow judges will agree with me when I write this): it was tremendously stressful. So many great costumes, but only so many prizes.

Upon discharging my doggie duty I met up with north Brooklyn’s very own beat reporter extraordinaire, Aaron Short, for a quick interview. Once I saw him off safely on the bus I proceeded to the junk shop so I could fulfill my (un)official role as candy giver. The Mister couldn’t understand my sense of urgency. The fact of the matter is I take the responsibilities which come with such a sinecure (doling out teeth-rotting treats) very, VERY seriously. I serve only the best to 11222’s youth: Snickers, Kit Kats, Milky Ways and Butterfingers. What’s more, it’s fun.

officerI thoroughly enjoy interacting with the children of this neighborhood. They’re great kids. The adults, on the other hand, can be problematic. CASE IN POINT: a drunk (at 3:30 p.m., I will add) fifty-something woman (sipping a can of beer in a paper bag FROM A STRAW) demanding I give her candy. I refused. She, in turn, grabbed my arm (A BIG NO NO) and implored me once again to give her candy. I, once again, refused. She then took it upon herself to take the matter up with my co-worker (who I presume she took for “management”). To no avail.

For the next five minutes this woman (if you can call such a creature that) ranted and raved on the sidewalk for the passerby’s edification. At one point she found two young boys dressed up as police officers. She begged these petit officers to arrest me. Later I was told by one woman in the audience she mentioned something about getting a gun. I replied:

She can get a gun. She’s still not getting any candy.

And she didn’t. Intuiting that she was not going to receive anything in the way of confectionary from yours truly she left for greener pastures. I later saw her toting home six cases of beer. So it goes.

Needless to say when I got home I was sorely in need of some peace and quiet. Nothing doing. The following comment was awaiting my moderating touch. Atlas9 writes (in regards to this post):

I don’t understand the problem, sure bloomberg is going for a third term; but he did it by the books. Why freak out about it? He isn’t being dictatorial, and he sure hasn’t made himself chancellor of NYC, so where is the fundemental problem? The guy wants to stay in office… So that all depends on the election. And the election is democratic, so he is essentially following the democratic process. Also, I canvass for bloomberg in the downtown Brooklyn area, and I can tell you I am no hipster. Just as you were so taken aback from the real estate agents, the same applies here. Don’t be so quick to judge. I am here to engage you and others in the area on the democratic process. If that isn’t something you like then maybe you should consider living in a less important area outside of NYC. But If I were you I would appreciate the fact that bloomberg is playing fair and by the books, and that’s something you have to respect. So please, let’s all relax and try to enjoy a small slice of democracy in our increasingly un democratic world. (emphasis mine — Ed. Note)

P.S. Don’t be rude to me when I come knocking. I don’t mind if you don’t like bloomberg and I am more than willing to listen to what you have to say.

Here’s the deal folks: I have neither the energy nor the inclination to deal with Atlas9’s polemic about the democratic process as it pertains to Bloomberg at this moment. I suspect many of you, dear readers and fellow citizens, might. If so, please tender your thoughts in the comments (or via email— you can do so via my “tips” page”). All I ask of you, fellow citizens, is to to keep them as civil as possible.

Miss Heather

Comments

2 Comments on From The New York Shitty Inbox: Special Halloween Edition

  1. Xris (Flatbush Gardener) on Sun, 1st Nov 2009 10:24 am
  2. By “candy” she meant “beer” …

  3. rutila on Mon, 2nd Nov 2009 12:13 pm
  4. Many people are angry about what Bloomberg did — myself included — but I doubt they’re going to vote in droves tomorrow and oust him for stepping out of line. (Marty Markowitz is also taking advantage of running for a third term. Are we going to vote against him and others like him on principle too?) Also, if I were old enough to vote in the two referendums that were held about term limits in the nineties, I would have voted against them. I don’t like some of Bloomberg’s policies, including the “nanny state” and real-estate development, but he runs this city so efficiently and has improved upon an already safe city that Guiliani left. In my eyes he deserves another term, though I understand why you don’t agree with me.

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