1000 Manhattan Avenue, Revisited Once More

December 5, 2007 by
Filed under: Greenpoint Magic 

It is officially the holiday season. The season of cheer and good will towards men. A three week sojourn of shiny commercialized happiness begotten by people who are otherwise nasty shitbags to each other the following 11 months of the year.

I fancy myself to be a nice person. I exercise a considerable amount of restraint with what I post on New York Shitty. Not today.

My buddy, frequent New York Shitty commentor and Marie Grasso casualty, vintagejames opined about 1000 Manhattan Avenue recently:

I haven’t seen the place and don’t really want to get up and personal. But if the work they are doing there has created the danger, then that should be some sort of violation, which will eventually be ignored by the DOB or whatever is in charge of sucking up to the contractors. Why not just be a pain in the ass and complain to 311, or 911 if the danger is immediate. The call is free and you never know when you will find a city agency that actually cares. But don’t bet on it, after all, Mike & Marky are watching and they are shooting you the rod.

The reason 1000 Manhattan Avenue has a crutch is because the powers that be have seen fit to allow this building to decay beyond repair.




I seriously doubt this happened overnight. Apparently, the Department of Buildings agrees with my lowly lay(wo)man’s assessment.




Eight months ago.



Doorway 1000 Manhattan Avenue

Here is the doorway gracing 1000 Manhattan Avenue. This is not Photoshop. This is real life. My life. Nary a plumb line is to be found on this property, but the local bums love shoving empty cigarette packs into the cracks. Maybe these will keep this building from collapsing onto its neighbor(s) next door?

Compliance date


I am certain the scheduled hearing date of February 4, 2008 will put the fear of our city’s legal wrath into the owner of this building’s heart.

That’s the funny thing. Who owns this building, that is. I looked up 1000 Manhattan Avenue (AKA: Block 2523, lot 2) on ACRIS and found some mortgage/ownership log-tossing between one Carol Caputo and Stanley Ferraro*. Hmm.

Otherwise, I am pleased to report that no one got injured by 1000 Manhattan Avenue’s crutch today. Those cones are really working, Carol!

Dude on cellphone, 11:30 a.m. 12/4/07

This chap was a true multi-tasker; he continued conversing on his cell phone while circumventing the 1000 Manhattan Avenue death gauntlet. The lovely (and very gracious) ladies of Greenpoint held their own as well.

1000 Manhattan Avenue, 11/4/07 11:30 a.m.

They even took turns as to who could pass first, as the above woman in the GORGEOUS orange sari attests.

Perhaps that is the problem? We Greenpointers are too polite. We have grown acclimatized to living in conditions that would be considered unacceptable in “better” neighborhoods.

Would this fly on 7th Avenue (Park Slope— or Manhattan, for that matter)?

What about Smith or Court Street?

I think not.

To answer vintagejames‘s question:

Why not just be a pain in the ass and complain to 311, or 911 if the danger is immediate. The call is free and you never know when you will find a city agency that actually cares.

I am not going to call 311. Although I have dealt with a number of very courteous and helpful operators I know my complaint will get thrown in the bureaucratic dung heap like so many complaints I (and others) have filed before. What’s more I have actually watched a building inspector look at this building.

1000 Manhattan Avenue, Sidewalk Shed

He/she failed to notice that the awning which used to grace the bodega on the first floor is being stored on the shed. It is my understanding that sidewalk sheds are not to be used for “storage”. That said, I am certain the bum slumbering under it is 100% legal.

Why would I bother filing a complaint with such an ineffectual agency, James? Writing nasty blog posts about their ineptitude and dare I say it, MALFEASANCE, seems to be a lot more effective.

Miss Heather

*Don’t bother trying to contact them via the addresses listed on ACRIS. Per an email I received this morning, Carol hasn’t lived on Freeman Street in years.

P.S.: To view more D.O.B. hilarity about this building, check out my new flickr set.













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