New York Shitty Day Ender: Happiness is a Cold (War) Gun

December 5, 2009 by
Filed under: 11222, Greenpoint, Greenpoint Brooklyn, Greenpoint Magic 

As his recent Thanksgiving window display made all too clear Chris, the proprietor of T & N Wine and Liquor, is a man of— how shall we say— unique sensibilities. Needless to say when I noticed he has embarked upon his Christmas decor this afternoon I simply had to know what was in store. Chris was rather coy but he told me it would be pretty subdued. Noting the disappointed expression on my face Chris then gestured to me head to the last register. He had something to cheer me up.


This is an advertisement he recently placed with a Polish language publication. To truly appreciate the ad copy (which he translated to me and I will go into in a minute) one needs to take a closer look at the wares being advertised.


  1. Polish vodka in a “decorative” container aping an artillery shell.
  2. A “field artillery kit” consisting of a “bottle” of vodka in the form of a Kalashnikov, six shot glasses (or “bullets” as Chris called them) and a flask shaped like a grenade.

Which brings me back to Chris’s snappy copy (NOTE: this is highly paraphrased):

These will guarantee you a peaceful evening.

His rationale behind this cryptic statement:

If you have a gun no one will bother you.

Indeed. You will be delighted to know these items will be the centerpiece of Chris’s Christmas opus. I can hardly wait!

Miss Heather


One Comment on New York Shitty Day Ender: Happiness is a Cold (War) Gun

  1. Tony From Kent Street on Sat, 5th Dec 2009 11:44 pm
  2. I bought vodka in a clear glass AK-47 a couple years ago in our hood for a party. It definitely guaranteed a peaceful evening!

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